Fear can paralyse you, can stop you from doing anything new with your life, can stop you from trying things, can stop you from enjoying your life, because you’re too afraid to change or to try. Don’t let this happen to you. Most of what we’re afraid of never happens. And those things that do, it turns out, we can deal with.
Sometimes we feel like we’re the only forty-something year old that gets scared or insecure. It’s not just you. I’ve been coaching for over a decade now and almost everyone I’ve worked with has had some fear of something. Especially when it comes to change, to trying new things, to leaning out of their comfort zone. It’s normal.
But what we do is magnify the fear. Like a little kid who’s convinced there is a monster hiding under the bed, we’re convinced that whatever we want to do is utterly terrifying and a ‘monster’. But it’s usually just a sock. If you have a phobia about socks, this is not going to help, but I think that’s pretty rare.
For the rest of us, it helps to remember that the monster under the bed is just a sock. It’s not terrifying and life-threatening. It’s just a sock. It’s no big deal. I used to be petrified of public speaking. Then I joined Toastmasters (a wonderful organisation that teaches you to be a better, more confident public speaker) and although the first few times I had to speak, I was shaking…it turned out that it wasn’t that scary. It was just a sock.
Now the idea of public speaking makes me a little nervous, certainly, but I’m not reduced to a quivering blushing jelly anymore. Because it isn’t that scary. The first time I shared one of my (rubbish) drawings, I was afraid. Now, the first thing I do when I finish one is share it on facebook! If you’d told me that a few months ago, I’d have called the men in white coats out to you.
Turned out, the terrifying monster under the bed was just a sock. Again. And almost every scary ‘monster’ thing I’ve done – travelling to the other side of the world on my own, starting a business, that first coaching client, my first blog post, my first book, the first video I recorded, the first podcast I recorded etc etc – they’ve all turned out to be a sock.
The only thing I can think of that really was a monster was jumping out of a plane. But I’m scared of flying. And heights. And falling from 12000 feet. So that was a fairly stupid thing to do! But I know people (like the mad Aussie I had strapped to my back for the jump) who think jumping out of a plane is not scary at all. It’s just a sock.
Don’t let fear get in the way of you having an amazing life. You can get scared, and you will. But then you’ll look back and see that what you were afraid of really wasn’t that scary after all. It was just a sock.
Lots of love
Donna.x
PS This article is an excerpt from my fabulous book “Fall in Love With Life” – for more details and to buy, click here.