Myths About Your Big Dream

There are so many things we believe about our Big Dreams that just aren’t so. And most of them do not help us achieve our Big Dreams – most of them keep us stuck. So let’s bust some myths!

I can’t do it.
Think Barack Obama…YES WE CAN! If you have the seed of a Big Dream, that seed came to you for a reason. You CAN do it. Yes, you will need to grow/change/jump out of your comfort zone. But you CAN do it. Whether you will do it or not is up to you, but you are perfectly capable. All of us have untapped potential for brilliance, creativity and joy – it’s time we started tapping it!

It is selfish to follow my dream.
Pffff. When we follow our Big Dreams, we are not only happier, more creative, more fun to be around, more interesting…we also give other people permission to do the same thing. What could be less selfish than teaching the people around you that you CAN go after your Big Dreams (imagine if they also started going after theirs?). Your Big Dream does affect other people around you, but you can manage that. If your Big Dream is to travel the world and you have 5 kids under 10 and a husband who hates travelling, you might just have to find a more creative way to follow that Big Dream!

If the outcome doesn’t meet my expectations, I’ve failed.
Boy, oh boy – this one is a biggie for people. We hate to ‘fail’, we hate to not live up to expectations. Especially if those expectations are unclear and unrealistic and impossible to live up to in the first place! Sometimes you will fail. That’s just how it is – you didn’t walk or talk on the first go, you fell over and fluffed your words a few times first. But that taught you how to do it right! When the outcome doesn’t meet your expectations, it gives you an opportunity to learn – either to adjust (or even define) your expectations or to do it better next time. There is no failure, just feedback.

People like me don’t get to do ‘x’.
Do you know what? The people out there ‘doing x’ are JUST LIKE YOU. They have their insecurities, their ‘pasts’, their cock-ups, their worries that ‘I can’t do it’. I have watched insecure, frightened people turn into successful business people; people who had never been anywhere out of their county alone go travelling the world all by themselves; people crippled with creative strangulation write books. Everyone has their stuff. And they are just like you. Normal people do extraordinary things all the time…why not join in?!

Obstacles are bad things.
This is an easy myth to bust. Obstacles come up to be dealt with. Simple. They do not come up to stop you. They come up so you can deal with them and move to the next level. If your obstacle is lack of confidence, it there to show you that you need to work on your confidence…and when you do…BOOM! Next level. Learn to love your obstacles – they make you stronger, fitter, better, and ultimately happier because the more obstacles you bust through, the more you realise how brilliant you are!

‘Their’ way is ‘the right way’ even when it feels wrong.
Anyone who tells you ‘this is the way you ‘have’ to do it’ just means ‘this is how I did it’ (or sometimes, ‘this is how I think it should be done even though I never did it myself’…grr!). We all have our own internal guidance system that tells us what’s right for us. For example, sensible, ‘businessy’, ‘professional’ marketing is not me. Not because I’m unprofessional, oh no sirree! Because to me, ‘professional’ is boring! And for my clients (smart, sassy, brilliant people who know there is more to them), the fact I have a personality and flaws and I’m not perfect is more attractive than ‘Perfect Coach’! Do it your way. By all means, get advice and help…but if that advice doesn’t resonate with you, feel free to ignore it!

There is a ‘right’ way to do it.
There are millions of ways to do just about anything. Imagine if everyone had the same writing style, or painting style, or travelled the world in the same way, or had the same marketing. Yawn! Some people find success via ‘traditional’ routes, some find totally unconventional ways to do the same thing. Some authors get published by companies and sell millions of books, some self-publish and sell millions of books…there is no ‘right’ way. There are conventional ways, but if those ways don’t appeal to you, go the unconventional route and make your own way!

It has to be perfect before I can share it.
An online networking group I am part of posted a question this week about overcoming perfectionism – I shared my jewelry beading teachers’ comment on imperfection – it’s the Buddhist way to create. Apparently when a Buddhist creates, they will deliberately put a mistake into what they are creating, as imperfection is what makes it perfect. Someone else shared that Microsoft go for 80% ready, then fix any bugs later (Microsoft customers might have guessed this!) So forget perfectionism – allow yourself to be perfectly imperfect and just get out there and have a go – you can fix mistakes as they come up.

Your Homework
What ‘myths’ have been stopping you from following your Big Dream? What have you believed that is just not so? What do you believe that might not be so…and what if you didn’t believe in anything that holds you back? I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this subject – leave me a comment below.

Love

Donna.x
PS If you have a ‘myth’ I haven’t busted – feel free to put that in the comments too and I’ll do my best to bust that myth for you!

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May Daily Practice: Write

Over the past few years, I have re-discovered the joy of writing. Not just writing books, blog posts, courses (although that’s been fun!), but writing journals…diaries if you like. I wrote lots of diaries as a kid, I thought I was Adrian Mole. But then I got out of the habit of processing my thoughts and my life through writing…until a few years ago. Over the past 5 years, I have written more and more and more, in different types of journal, and rediscovered how powerful it is to write.

Last May I started a practice called ‘Morning Pages’. It is taken from Julia Cameron’s ‘The Artist’s Way’ and in its simplest form, it is 3 pages of longhand writing, about whatever pops into your mind – however petty, pointless and stupid (and sometimes profound, inspired and insightful). I have now been doing this practice every day for a year! Now, because I think the morning pages is a big commitment, I am not going to make the daily practice the Morning Pages (although I may do later in the year), but an easier practice to just WRITE every day. (Although if you want to join the practice of doing Morning Pages, go ahead!) I will be sharing a journalling prompt on my Facebook page every day to help you get started.

The March Daily Practice of Trusting Myself taught me how much wisdom I was holding inside…that I was completely oblivious of, because I wasn’t asking the right questions, and I wasn’t listening for the answers. This months’ practice will help you get even more in touch with the wisdom within – will you join me? Make it easy for yourself to join in – go and buy a notebook if you want to, but you can just write on the back of an envelope with a stubby pencil! And if you prefer, you can use technology to write. I like a pen and paper myself, but it’s your writing practice so do what works for you.

Today’s writing prompt: “I love…” Just finish that sentence, as many times as feels right for you. See where that prompt leads you today – you can write for a minute, 10 minutes, half an hour…whatever works for you. Start to become the authority in your own life with this writing practice! And please do come over to Facebook and share your insights, thoughts and feelings (and if you have any great writing prompts!)

Love

Donna.x

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Ask Donna: Childhood Dreams

Q: When I try to think about my big dream today, all I can think of is my big dream from when I was a kid – I wanted to play football! How can I get past this to what my big dream is now? Jon

Our childhood dreams sometimes just need a chance to move forward – it might seem ‘too late’, but take a few steps towards it anyway – re-ignite that passion by playing or getting involved in community football schemes. An ‘old’ dream that never got a chance can stand in the way of your new dreams, so give that ‘old’ dream a chance to move forwards.

If your childhood dream is still whispering to you, take a baby step towards it, and bring some of that fun, delicious,
child-like joy into your life right now! And who knows what might happen if you follow a childhood dream?

Leave me a comment and let me know what your childhood dream is.

Love

Donna.x

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Ask Donna – Doubts and Fears About Publishing a Book

Q: My big dream is to publish a book, I have so many ideas about it and have written it in my mind 10 times over. I like to think I can do it but then wonder who I am to think that I’m anywhere near good enough and will anyone read it anyway. Rose

The people who achieve great things are not the ones who had no doubts, they were the people who took action anyway, despite their doubts. Every author who has ever written a book had their doubts – even JK Rowling…and look how that turned out! Do it anyway! There are no guarantees that anyone will read it…but they definitely won’t if you don’t write it.

1. Write – put the doubts on the back burner for a little while, and write
2. Get a Dream Team around you – get the support you need
3. Don’t let the doubts and fears stop you.

To sign up for the Dreams to Reality newsletter, go to http://www.donnaonthebeach.com/blog/sign-up-for-more-donna/dreams-to-reality-monthly-newsletter/

If you have a question, leave a comment below.

Love

Donna.x

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What Is Your Deepest Wish

It’s Wishcasting Wednesday. There is power in wishing – putting your wishes out there sets mighty forces into action…

What Is Your Deepest Wish?

My deepest wish is that I am able to express my gifts in the most fulfilling and powerful way possible every day – my gifts of joy, laughter, life, friendship, love, passion as well as my ‘saleable’ gifts of writing, coaching, mentoring, inspiring, believing. My deepest wish is that I am able to live full out in every aspect of my life, never fearing to be fully who I am, never fearing that my needs will not be met as I do so, never worrying about money, never worrying about ‘success’, just enjoying being completely in love with my life, fulfilling my purpose, following my passion and having fun!

Get involved on Jamie’s blog, or leave a comment here about YOUR deepest wish. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you also.

Love

Donna.x

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Accessing Your Intuition

So, a couple of weeks ago I asked you to share with me the ways you access your inner wisdom, and promised to share the final list. Some of these are direct ways to access your inner voice, some are indirect, helping you to get quiet enough to hear that voice.

1. Visualisation
- Future self
- Wise man in a cave
- Wise woman in a cottage
- Board of advisors
2. Meditation
3. Writing
- Journal prompts
- ‘free’ writing eg morning pages
- Write to your business/intuition/future self/God, asking and answering questions
4. Brainstorming
- Mind maps
- Group brainstorm
5. Prayer
6. Silence
7. Yoga
8. Exercise
9. Nature
10. Singing
11. Masterminding
12. Reading/listening to/watching inspiring material
13. Like-minded people
14. Talking to clients
15. Dancing
16. Art
17. Ask a specific question, then get quiet so you can hear the answer
- What is my gut feeling?
- What does my heart say?
- What does my soul say?
- Go to sleep on the question and let your dreams answer (keep a pad and pen by the bed to capture the answer)
18. Driving
19. crafts
20. Doing what you love
21. Staring at the stars
22. Body awareness (noticing how you feel when you think of a particular option/idea)
23. Take a bubble bath or shower
24. Doing mindless tasks like housework
25. Get someone to ask quick-fire questions, and don’t think, just answer

If you open the channel to your inner wisdom, it will keep talking to you – you just need to listen! Over the coming weeks and months, I will blog some more about some of these ideas – if there are any you particularly want to hear more about, please leave me a comment and I’ll address them first. And of course, if you have any more ideas to add to the list, leave a comment below with the ways you access your intuition.

Love

Donna.x

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Your Creative Joy

As you will know if you follow this blog closely (and if you do, I thank you!), on a Wednesday I answer a journal prompt from Jamie Ridler of Jamie Ridler Studios. I also listen to Jamie’s weekly podcast on creative living. Jamie is my favourite resource for awakening creativity, and since I came across her site sometime last year, I have steadily been letting out the reins on my own creativity.

I’ve been blogging for years now, so I’m quite happy with the written word as a creative pursuit, but other avenues have been pretty much closed as “I’m no good at” them. Jamie is helping me to remember that it’s not about getting it right, but about expressing your creativity and having fun with it. Many of us were shut down as kids when we tried something and someone else said it was rubbish. So we stopped doing it, even though we had fun. What a shame. Not only that we stopped having fun, but that we bottled up our creativity.

Many people believe they are not creative at all in any way, which I think is just bullshit. Everyone has a spark of creativity in them. Maybe you can’t paint like Picasso, or make music like Mozart, or write like William Shakespeare – but you can be creative in your own way. And I bet that there is some creativity in you that is crying out to be expressed. Expressing creativity is not about creating a masterpiece, it’s just about allowing your creative energy a chance to come out, to dance, to be joyously allowed.

Allowing your creativity a space to be expressed has several benefits. Firstly it’s FUN – remember that thing you used to do as a kid, just because it was fun? When did ‘because it’s fun’ stop being a good reason to do something in your life? Remind yourself of the joy of living by doing something JUST because it’s fun! Secondly, when you start to allow your creative energy to express, it gets stronger and you become MORE creative. And creativity is useful not just for finger painting or making pottery, but in business and in life – the more creative you are, the more easily you will find solutions for any problems you come across.

Thirdly, letting your creativity out makes you feel better – you feel less ‘stoppered up’ and choked, and you feel more free. Fourth, your creativity is part of YOU. Keeping it bottled up means that you are not fully being yourself. Letting it out allows you to be more of you. I’m not saying you have to have an art exhibition or do a music tour or make craftwork your new job. But maybe you want to think about the creative things you loved to do as a child and start doing them again. Not to ‘create art’ but just to express your creativity, have some fun, become more creative, feel good and be yourself.

I am all about creating a life you love, and creativity is a HUGE part of that. And there are so many creative endeavours that I am sure you can find something that captures your attention. Painting, drawing, knitting, sewing, crocheting, writing, sculpture, collage, photography, graphic design, pottery, jewelry-making, singing, dancing, playing an instrument, writing a song, acting… the list could go on for hours. By the way, do not make this hard for yourself. Don’t decide that you can’t do something because you don’t have the right equipment – be creative and do what you can with what you already have.

Leave me a comment and let me know what creative endeavour you’re going to try this week.

Love

Donna.x

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All Wrote Out

Nanowrimo finished on Monday (national novel writing month), so I’ve been taking a break from writing out of sheer creative exhaustion! The challenge was to write 50000 words in a month. The idea being that when you’ve got 50000 words, you have the bones at least of your novel. Most people feel they have a novel in them, but most of them don’t ever write.

Nanowrimo gives them a reason to do it. So, is my ‘novel’ close to done? Nope. What I wrote SUCKS! The story wandered off in a different direction from the one I had in mind, the plot was lost within the first week, and because I didn’t keep a note of salient details about my characters, there are more inconsistencies than words. Well, almost! I seriously doubt that even with some rigorous editing this project will ever see the light of day.

So did I fail? Absolutely not. I now know 100 things I did not know before. I have a better idea of where my writing strengths (and weaknesses) lie. I ‘won’ in Nanowrimo terms – getting 50000 words done. It is an exercise in pure output that I have never done before, and that was an interesting experiment for me. Yeah, what I wrote sucks, but my first attempt at walking when I was little was embarrasingly bad too.

So was my first attempt at riding a bike, and don’t even speak to me about my first attempt at ice-skating! (Actually, I never got any better at that!) The trouble with so many of us is that we’re not prepared to fuck up. So we don’t even try. Guaranteeing failure. There are those who think I ‘wasted my time’ – they are sadly mistaken. I learned HEAPS! And I had fun. And I did it. So I’m really proud of myself for sticking at something even when I didn’t think it was working.

Every great novel started as a first draft that was probably rubbish, comparitavely. And who knows, once I have edited and polished my story, the plot may be found again, the inconsistensies corrected, the genius resurfaced (RAOFL). But even if not, did I waste my time? No. I grew. I challenged myself. I wrote myself hoarse. I’d rather grow and fuck-up than do nothing and watch my soul die.

Love

Donna.x

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Writing and The Work

A note from Donna
I was telling a friend about this insight a couple of weeks ago, and she suggested that it would make an interesting article. This is based on ‘The Work’, a four-step process used by Byron Katie (see recommendation) – the premise is that you explore a stressful thought through these four questions and the turnaround. On this particular day, I was exploring why I wasn’t writing, which surfaced the most beautiful belief: If I only write when I want to, I’ll never write.

Writing and The Work
If I only write when I want to, I’ll never write. Question 1: Is this True? No. (Question 2 is ‘Can I know for sure that this is true?’ – irrelevant in this case as it is not true in the first place!)

Question 3: How do I react when I believe this thought “if I only write when I want to, I’ll never write”? I get p***ed off. I compare myself unfavourably to other writers who force the process to get themselves flowing. I get mardy because I don’t want to do that at all. I love writing, but this takes the joy out of it for me. I don’t want to write when I believe this thought!

Question 4: Who would I be without this thought? Oh wow, I feel light, free, happy, I’m looking forward to writing, I’m excited about creating more fabulous stuff. I know that I create well when I am inspired so I feel really proud (in advance) of what I will create.

Turnarounds:
If I only write when I want to, I’ll always write. This feels so much more true – I’ve been writing regularly now for 6 years and I am always having ideas and inspirations…and I love writing. So if I don’t ruin it for myself and make it a chore, I will always want to do it.
If I never write when I want to I’ll never write. Yes! Very true – if I’m always trying to ‘make’ myself do it, I’ll kill the desire to do it!
If I only write when I don’t want to, I’ll never write. Yes! This is exactly what’s been happening.

This exploration helped me to realise something – I have never wanted to create in a formulaic way, to me it kills the creativity. And yet here I have been, trying to force structure around something that isn’t structured. And that forcing has actually been slowing down my writing. So, now I am back to writing when I want to…and LOVING it!

Something to play with
Check out www.thework.com for instructions about doing the work, or buy the book, and then start to explore your stressful thoughts – you may find, as I did, that your stressful thought is a load of b***cks!

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

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The Power of Write

Have you recently utilised the therapeutic power of writing? Have you connected with your inner guidance by recording your thoughts? Have you given your creative self free rein by writing your ideas and passions?

If not, and you like to write, you may be denying yourself a wonderful pleasure! (If you hate writing, please ignore this blog post – I don’t want you to do something you don’t like to do!) I love to write – I write blogs, books, newsletters, courses, diaries, gratitude journals, letters…and the more I write, the more I realise that writing has a power.

The written word has the power to change your world, to transport you to a new world, and even to change the world of the reader. Wow.

So are you using the power of write?

Love

Donna.x

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