OnTheBeach – Confront Obstacles as They Appear

I have been re-reading “Kingdom of the Golden Dragon” by Isabel Allende, and the quote below leapt out at me again. Perhaps it’s something you also need to hear this week?

By the way, there are only 2 places left for my Summer Coaching special offer so if it’s something you’ve been thinking about doing, do it NOW!

- Confront Obstacles As They Appear -

“Confront obstacles as they appear, don’t waste energy fearing what you may meet in the future.”

This quote leapt out at me the first time I read this book, and again this week it jumped out and did a little dance in front of me (metaphorically speaking) to ensure I had noticed it. I am a recovering worry-holic, and there are times when I forget not to worry about something that hasn’t happened yet and just wait and see what happens. I’ve been doing that a little bit lately.

I know it’s a complete waste of time, as most of the things I worry about never happen. In fact, it’s worse than a complete waste of time because it worrying makes life worse. Worrying opens the door to fearfulness which can lead to bad decision making which gives you more to worry about. Worrying is using your imagination to create things you don’t want – horror stories for your life. Who wants that?

If you, like me, have a good, active, creative imagination, worrying is not a good use of all that creative energy because we can just take it too far! That’s why I like this quote so much. It reminds you to stay in the present moment, and trust yourself to deal with whatever comes up in your life. So far, I have been dealing with whatever came up in life – including deaths, job losses, travelling the world alone, illness, accidents, unexpected expenses – for over 38 years.

And most of the time I did a pretty good job too! Occasionally I have cocked up (who hasn’t?), but mostly I dealt with obstacles as they came up. Some took me a while to figure out how to get under, over, round or through…but all have been overcome so far. And I have no reason to doubt that I will continue to do so.

As I’ve got older, I have become more confident, more skilful, wiser, stronger, more optimistic, more positive, have more of a ‘can-do’ attitude, I’ve learned to ask for help, and I take myself even less seriously than I did before. Taking all that into account, I could conclude that not only will I continue to overcome all obstacles I might meet in the future, I shall do it with wit, grace and flair!

Which sounds much more fun than being a worry wort. Do you worry about things that have not yet happened and may never happen? Or do you confront obstacles as they appear? Take a moment now to appreciate that you too are older, wiser, better prepared, more able than you have ever been and that you can handle any obstacle you might meet…when it appears and not a moment sooner!

- Something to Play With -

If you are a bit of a worrier, whenever you find yourself mithering over something that hasn’t happened yet, remind yourself to “Confront obstacles as they appear, don’t waste energy fearing what you may meet in the future.” Leave me a comment below.

Love

Donna.x

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Conscious Joyfulness

Well, the office revamp is still going on – today we put together a new wardrobe, which was going to finish off the revamp, give me some storage in there, and turn my office into a little dance studio too cos the doors are mirrored (I’m not a prima ballerina, I just always wanted a dance studio!). Anyway, the mirrored doors are the reason the office revamp is still in progress – 2 of them are broken. Sigh. Still, one was fine and Ikea were lovely and immediately agreed to replace them. So, next week I should have my new office completed! I hope. Meanwhile, I was talking to a client today and we were talking about Joy and being Joyful, which reminded me of this article: enJOY!

- Conscious Joyfulness -

The dictionary definition of joy is ‘a deep feeling or condition of happiness or contentment’. Sounds wonderful – I’ll have some of that! So, how often do you feel joyous? All day every day? Once a day? Once a week? Every now and again? I have a vague suspicion (I could be wrong) that it isn’t that often.

After all, we’re not programmed for joy are we? We’re programmed to be stressed, exhausted, busy and tense. So, we walk round scowling rather than smiling, we worry rather than getting excited, we are more serious than frivolous. Hmm. Which state would be more fun? Which state would be easier? Which state do we work on?

Interesting eh?! We’d enjoy life so much more if we worked on the state of joy, but most of us instead work on the state of stress! You may be frowning at me right now – why would you work on being stressed?! Make no mistake about it…every time you spend time on worry, anger, criticism, negative thoughts and actions you are working on your stress.

Perhaps not consciously, because if you were conscious of ‘working on your stress’, you would stop it. Here’s what we do: something upsets us or stresses us out. Then we worry at it like a dog with a bone. Then we talk about it with our friends, and every time we repeat the story (depending on the level of stress/worry/pain, anywhere between 5 times and 200 times) we relive the pain/stress/worry and charge it with a tremendous amount of energy and exercising our stress muscles so they get big and strong.

When I started thinking about this article, I realised that I too do not feel joyous 24/7, and I started looking for specific examples of things that brought me joy in the last week. A smiley moon, sunshine and starlight, catching up with friends, hearing about achievements and good stuff happening for people, connecting to a higher power, music, dancing, laughter, a good book, a new idea, a hot bubbly bath and a magazine, random acts of kindness, love, spending time with my family…the list goes on and on.

And do you know what I found very curious? I had barely noticed these fabulous things – I was far too busy worrying about something else altogether! Now, I’m going to spend more time working on joy, rather than stress. What about you?

- Something to Play With -

Spend 3-5 minutes brainstorming the things that make you joyful. Then decide to live a joyous life and consciously bring more joy into your life. For example, plan one joyous activity a day for the next week, and see what a difference it makes to your outlook. Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

Love

Donna.x

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Stretch Your Mind

Today I came across an affirmation from Louise Hay – “I love stretching my mind, thinking of the highest good available”. I love that – I love the idea of stretching yourself to imagine the best possible scenario. Now some people will say this is unrealistic…and to them I say: Bullshit.

Is it realistic to imagine that someone who is 5 minutes late home has been hit by a comet? No. Is it realistic to imagine that the boss wants a word because they will sack you? No. Is it possible? Oh yeah…but 99% of the things we worry about never happen – so is worry realistic? No.

Also, if you are in the habit of looking for the best in people, situations, yourself, you are more likely to find it (the same applies if you look for the worst) so it then becomes more realistic. “Realistic” when applied in this way usually means “pessimistic” and frankly, optimists have way more fun.

So today, stretch your mind by thinking of the best that is possible for you. Maybe, just maybe that ‘best’ is realistic, and something you can achieve. But you’ll never know unless you try!

Love

Donna.x

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Worry Checklist

Worry is one of the biggest wastes of time there is, and unlike many other wastes of time (tv, the internet, housework) there is no reward, no fun, no point at all! And yet we all do it, so I thought I would share with you my Worry Checklist:

So, here’s a ‘check list’ for when you are worrying:
1. What can I do about it right now? If there is something, do it and stop worrying. If nothing, go to number 2.
2. What can I do about it later? If there is something, plan to do it and stop worrying. If nothing, go to number 3.
3. What can I do about it tomorrow? If there is something, plan to do it and stop worrying. If nothing, go to number 4.
4. What can I do about it ever? If there is something, plan to do it and stop worrying. If nothing, go to number 5.
5. There is nothing I can do about this thing. Will I even give a shit in a year’s time? If not, stop worrying! If yes, go to number 6.
6. What do I want to happen? Eg if I am worried about a bill, I will say “I see this bill paid off with ease”; if I am worried about a person, I will say “I see this person healthy, happy, calm” or whatever. Rather than mull over what might go wrong, what might have gone wrong and what might be wrong right now, say it as you want to see it and mull over that for a few minutes instead.
7. Last step in the worry checklist is to call on spirit (God, Goddess, Angels, the Universe, your higher self) for help to let go of worrying. My favourite statement (this month!) is “No matter how things look, I know the universe/god/whatever has it all under control. I release this to you universe/god/whatever to deal with as I know you’ll do a better job than I could do.” I always feel better then…although if I’m really worrying, I might repeat this a few (hundred) times!

Let me know if it works for you.

Love

Donna.x
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OnTheBeach – Will This Still Matter Tomorrow?

A note from Donna
Since the gig I went to last Tuesday, my throat has been playing up and my voice has run the range between Minnie Mouse and that woman with a husky, low, smoker’s voice off Coronation Street of 20 years ago – can’t remember her name! I was listening to the messages my body was sending me – I needed rest desperately…and sadly my plans to snooze the afternoon away were thwarted 3 days in a row. (Do you think these people know telepathically the worst time to call?) This is a time for perseverance – I will get an afternoon snooze! Zzzzzzzzzz.

Will This Still Matter Tomorrow?
Woah, what a week! It’s been a real rollercoaster of a week, with trials, tribulations and stressors abounding…only most of these trials and tribulations are very short lived. I can’t even remember what stressed me out on Monday, Tuesday’s trial was a storm in a teacup, Wednesday’s stressor is a possibility that won’t happen until next year if at all, Thursday’s tribulation was a huge deal one minute, and non-existent the next! Sheesh.

Most of the time I’m very laid back and easy going (or I like to think so anyway!), but just occasionally I get sucked into drama. This week most of the drama has been about other people, but a couple of things have been going on in my head too…and all of it has been a fuss over nothing! How often do you get caught up in dramas that are enormously stressful, get you worried and anxious, and then blow over within a week?

We have a tendency to get caught up in what’s happening right now, losing perspective and working ourselves into a frenzy. Life is so much harder when you are being battered by every storm that comes your way. Of course, there is the occasional hurricane…but most of the storms only need an umbrella, not a full-scale town evacuation! It’s nice to have the odd drama-queen moment, but when you live your whole life in that state of adrenaline and crisis it is hard work!

Before you get caught up in the crisis will this still matter tomorrow? (to the tune of ‘Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow’!) Will it matter in a week’s time? Will it matter in a month? Will it matter in 6 months? Will it matter in a year? Will it matter in 5 years? Now you have a sense of how important this is in the grand scheme of things – is your reaction appropriate? Is it in perspective? Is it worth feeling bad about? Is it worth risking your health? Is it worth wasting time being angry?

Many of the little dramas we get caught up in on a day to day basis are relatively unimportant, and although irritating at the time, not significant enough for us to lose our peace over. Spilt coffee? Won’t matter tomorrow. Idiot drivers on the road? Won’t matter next week. Bitchiness at work? Won’t matter in 5 years time. What will matter? That you had fun, that you were your best self, that you gave and received love, that you were joyful and happy and didn’t waste energy and time and stress on things that won’t matter tomorrow.

Something to play with
Whenever you are losing your cool (or even afterwards!) ask yourself if this will matter tomorrow, or next week, or next year…if not, can you just let it go?

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

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