OnTheBeach – The Gift of Life

Over the past few years, the frailty and fragility of life has been brought home to me at this time of year – my uncle passed away at the end of October, the following year one of my friends lost her fight for life at the end of November. And with Christmas and my birthday coming, I miss them more than ever. No birthday card from my friend will hit the mat, no silly texts from my uncle will arrive. As maudlin as this sounds, it also reminds me how lucky I am to be able to still breathe into these lungs, to enjoy the festive season and to moan incessantly about winter. I am very grateful that my one and only precious self is still here and still healthy.

It also makes me more aware of my own life, and how I am living it. If my life ended, would I be happy with how I had lived? Would I rue missed chances? Would I regret wasted time? Now let me just say here that I do not believe that any time is wasted – every experience helps us to grow and gives us opportunities to be more wonderful…it’s just that sometimes we take the opportunity to be grumpy instead! And as I said last week, this grumpiness gives us the opportunity to turn it around and pay attention to what we do want instead of what is pissing us off.

If life was the most precious gift you had this Christmas (or today, tomorrow and every day), would you treat it the way you currently are? Would you read the care instructions more carefully? Would you have more appreciation for your life, your body, your mind, your heart, your spirit? Do you even notice the absolute miracle that is your life? Can you imagine the chaos if a computer giant were in charge of the mechanics of the human being? You can’t switch us off and on again when we aren’t working…well, I suppose you can, but it’s not an everyday solution!

Imagine – you breathe, think, your heart pumps, you digest food and process waste all without thinking! Imagine the mechanics of something as simple as picking up a pen – and we do it all without thought. It is utterly miraculous. We are utterly miraculous. YOU are utterly miraculous. There is no one else like you in the world. No one else who will have the experiences, thoughts and feelings that you have. And you do all this without much tlc I suspect. Many of us take better care of our belongings than we do our bodies. Our cars are serviced more regularly than we are. It’s not just a question of eating well, drinking water, exercising, all that usual stuff. It’s also about filling your life with joy, filling your heart with love, filling your mind with the idea that life is fun!

Imagine if you had a little tag sticking out of your sides, like your t-shirts have. Care instructions. What would yours say? Mine would say ‘feed nice food, water liberally, exercise daily, make laugh hourly, sleep for 8 hours, surround with lovely people, treat with love and respect and tell her she’s fabulous every time you pass a mirror, make feeling good top priority’. Lol. You are so lucky to be you, with your gifts and talents, with your unique perspective, with your possibilities and potential. With your life. Do you appreciate that gift?

- Something to Play With -

What would your care label say? What would someone need to do to take the very best care of you? Leave me a comment below and let me know!

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Don’t Tell Me I Suck

Did you know there are 12 weeks left until the end of this year? Yes, I know – time flies doesn’t it? I seem to spend my life saying “I can’t believe it’s October/January/2009/nearly Christmas”. Anyway, what has 2010 been like for you? Did you achieve what you wanted to? Have you had lots of fun? Have you been falling just a little bit more in love with life every day? Are you happy with how life is progressing? If the answer to any of those questions is ‘no’, perhaps the time has come to try a little life coaching? I have 3 one to one coaching spots open between now and Christmas – do you want to take one of them? To find out more about the how, why, where, when, who and how much, click here where you will find answers to all those questions and more! I look forward to working with you to create a life you love. And if you spot any mistakes on this page, please let me know! Despite reading through it 100 times, I am sure I’ve missed something! - Don’t Tell Me I Suck -

One of my least favourite things in the whole world is receiving e-mail that tells me I suck. Not because of anything I’ve done, not thoughtful feedback from someone who knows me, but a random e-mail from some ‘expert’ who tells me what I’m doing wrong and why I suck and why my approach will never work and how they are wonderful and have all the answers.

Grrr. Back in the early years of my business, I was subscribed to hundreds of these things from marketers, business experts and random people off the internet. And every time I received them, I would shrink a little more in confidence. I would read them through, recognise the terrible patterns they described and take their word for it that because I was listening to music while I worked, my business would tank – or some other such shite. It very nearly drove me out of business.

Luckily, I found people who didn’t jump on this bandwagon and instead of telling me I sucked, they just gave me useful information I could use to ‘get better’ at whatever it was. Without making me feel bad about myself and my chances first. People who told it like it was (building a business takes time, changing your life takes time, sorting your financial life takes time etc) without making me discouraged.

It may be a ‘wonderful’ sales technique (doesn’t work on me by the way) but if it leaves me feeling like I’ve just bitten into a rotten apple, it’s not good. The real truth is that there are as many ways of doing things as there are people in the world. Everyone is unique, and has a unique style. Sure, we can model ourselves on successful people…but people who fit our style rather than people who are polar opposites from us.

For example, I know of a successful author who gets up at 5 am to write. I would love to write more books, but I am not going to get up at asleep o’clock to do it. Not least because I am at my worst, my least creative and my grumpiest first thing in the morning – not something conducive to great writing! But I have heard this author say that you ‘have to’ get up early to write.

Hmm. Maybe he ‘has to’. But I am pretty sure that amongst the millions of authors out there, there are some who write in the afternoon, or even (gasp of horror) in the evening. It’s horses for courses. Remember this the next time you have someone who knows nothing about you telling you what you should do. What they mean is ‘this is what I would do’ – which might well be helpful…but it also might be as useless as the advice to get up at asleep o’clock when you are not a morning person.

Anyway, this subject kicked off today because I received an e-mail from someone basically telling me (without knowing a damn thing about me) that the way I was doing business was ‘wrong’. I unsubscribed. If you know me and how I’m doing things, feel free to tell me I suck – I appreciate constructive criticism, it helps me to get better. But don’t tell me I suck when you have no idea about me.

- Something to Play With -

When you get advice this week, remember that what they mean is ‘this is MY opinion’, not ‘this is the law’ – the world has space for all sorts of different routes to success in all areas. Trust yourself to know what’s right for you (if it makes you feel bad/ill/cross, it’s probably not right for you!) And if you have e-mails coming into your inbox that make you feel bad, unsubscribe! Want to share your thoughts on this article?  Leave me a comment below.  Or pop over to my facebook page and write on my wall.

Love

Donna.x

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Your Imperfections are So Beautiful

There is a song by British indie band The Tears – here’s a snippet of the lyric:
“Your imperfections are so beautiful
I can’t control my animal soul
Your imperfection has got me on a chain
Can’t concentrate
I’m a sucker for your beautiful mistakes
…
Your imperfections make you what you are
My defective star
My inelegant love”

I love the whole thing. I always resonate so much more with people who allow themselves to be vulnerable, to be real, to be perfectly imperfect…to be HUMAN! My old coach used to say to me, whenever I admitted an imperfection “OHMIGOD YOU’RE HUMAN?!?!?!?” Lol. Yes we are. Human. Allowed to be rubbish! Allowed to have a bad day. And our imperfections make us who we are…

Part of our unique essence comes from our imperfections, just as part comes from our gifts. One without the other is wierd. I personally don’t know any perfect people. I know some people who try to be perfect, and deny or suppress or hide their imperfections. I’ve done it myself at times. And it is painful. Because when you start denying parts of you, it is like cutting off a limb. And why? To appear perfect?

You ask me, flaws are more perfect. Because they are real. Don’t worry about being ‘perfect’. Instead focus on being YOU. All of you. Imperfections and all. Authentic, real…and therefore attractive, magnetic, beautiful, a shining star. And while you’re at it, why not look for the wonderful in the flawed. For example, I am lazy…which means I get to read lots of good books and sit in the garden in the sunshine a lot. This is a good thing! I am also quite a grump at times…which means that I rarely get taken for a mug because I’m just too arsey!!

I could tell you for HOURS what imperfections I have and why they’re great (I’m stubborn as a mule, which make me persistent; I’m really flaky at times, which makes me multi-passionate and creative; I eat too much junk food, which gives me lots of padding for winter!) but I won’t go on about how perfectly imperfect I am! I want to hear about you. What beautiful imperfections do you have…and what is GOOD about them?

Share your thoughts, leave me a comment or contact me through the website and let me know, and if you’re not sure what is good about YOUR imperfection, share it anyway!

Love

Donna.x
PS Did you take my survey yet? If not, and you have 5 minutes, please Click here to take survey. Thanks a million my lovely. xxx

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Your Greatest Accomplishment

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson. And to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you into something else requires you to know who you are, accept who you are and love who you are. Warts and all. Imagine this…even with all your faults, all your problems, all the things you do and say wrong, you are still wonderful.

That combination of genius (that you never acknowledge), brilliance (that you never acknowledge) and mess (which you give way too much importance to) makes up the unique creation that is you. In order to be yourself, you need to be the one part of the world that isn’t trying to make you be something different. Be yourself – your real self, with your creativity, your passion, your joy, your grumpiness, your impatience. Be all of you…and that will be your greatest accomplishment.

Love

Donna.x

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Are We Put on Earth To Be Perfect?

To reward myself for (finally) completing my tax return, I went to the pictures yesterday to see Surrogates with Bruce Willis. The gist is that the world use surrogates that they control with their mind, so they never have to go anywhere…and they can be perfect in every way. The sad thing is that if this technology really were available, many of us would probably using it.

Imagine it – a world with no pain, no disease, no imperfection, no individuality, no life, no passion, no joy, no fun, okay, I can feel myself going into a rant so I’ll stop there. You see if we were all the same, all perfect, all homogenised it would suck all the life out of, well, LIFE! Are we put on this earth to be perfect? I don’t believe so.

I won’t be on my death bed thinking I should have had more botox or worn more makeup or been more like everyone else. I shall be there appreciating that I LIVED my life – that I laughed a lot, had a lot of fun and enjoyed the journey, spots, wobbly bits, imperfections and all. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to LIVE your life – to enjoy it to the fullest, to have the most fun you can have, and to laugh a LOT more. Oh, and for the A-level standard: embrace those imperfections – they’re what make us human.

Love

Donna.x

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Crack Pots

I am sure you’ve seen this story before, it does the rounds of e-mail every few months or so…but I love it!

“An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course , the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream “I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.” The old woman smiled, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side?”

“That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.” “For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.”

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You’ve just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path! ”

With love to all the crackpots!

Donna.x

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A One Shot Deal

There is only one of you in all of time. Be the person you came here to be.

Love

Donna.x

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Video: How Special You Are

Video: Do you have any idea how amazing you are? How wonderful you are? How uniquely fabulous you are? It’s about time you looked in the mirror and saw your own magnificence!

Enjoy!

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Everyone Is

- Everyone Is -

Do you ever feel slightly isolated, a bit weird, like you are the only person in the world who thinks the way you do? Me too! Do you ever feel like you are the only person in the world who struggles, has doubts, wonders if they are ‘getting it right’? Me too! Do you ever think that you are the only one who has a little self-doubting voice in your head? Wow, me too! In fact, I’d be willing to bet that the majority of people reading this have felt that way at one time or another. Everyone has doubts. Everyone has moments where they think they are the only people in the world who think or feel the way they do. And the great tragedy is that they are rarely right!

There is someone else out there who has felt, or thought exactly the same doubting, uncertainty, weirdness! A few years ago I was convinced that I was weird – and I didn’t consider it a good thing. This caused me many a moment of navel-gazing, upset and even depression. And then I met some people who were brave enough to say ‘hey! Me too!’. What an ‘aha’ moment for me – I realised that even the most confident people feel uncertain at times, even the most driven of people have moments of doubt, and even the most successful people feel like a failure. They just hid it well. For years, I genuinely could not accept myself because I thought I was mad – that no one else had the thoughts I had.

Realising that I was not alone was a turning point for me. If the people I respected and aspired to emulate had ‘weird’ thoughts, then so could I. If people I considered successful had moments of doubt, then so could I. And what’s more, if these people thought and felt this way and were still happy and successful, so could I be. Not only do we as a society hold up stick people as beautiful, we also hold up automatons as ‘normal’, and then we individually wonder why we have such ‘odd’ feelings and thoughts. It makes me want to scream. Here’s the thing – if you sometimes feel you’re a bit unusual, that’s normal! Normality is feeling and thinking and sometimes doubting.

I have come to terms with the fact that I am slightly odd, and I now consider it a very good thing that I think and feel the way I do – because that is just perfect for me. Who the hell wants to be an automaton?!

- Something To Play With –

If you knew that you are not a total oddball, that you are not “wierd”, that you are not alone in having the thoughts and feelings that you have, what would change for you? Want to share how this article affects you? Leave me a comment below.

- The Personal Bit –

This week I am repeating an article from way back in 2005; I hope you enjoy it. The reason I have been so lax and not created something new? Because this week ran away from me! Ever had that? When you think you have plenty of time to do everything, then before you know it its quarter to ten on Saturday night and you’re wondering what happened to the week? Other than the fact that I seem to have lost a couple of days somewhere, it’s been a good week. I learned how to play a nintendo wii, realised how rusty my pool skills are, and had an angel reading! Happy St Patrick’s Day to one and all. xx

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