Do You Know What Determination Looks Like?

Last week I watched a program about 4 injured soldiers who walked to the North Pole. One had a broken back, one an amputated leg, one an amputated arm, and the last had a paralysed arm and half the muscle on his leg missing. At the end of the program, one of the lads said “I was told to my face I would never do this, but I never had any doubt I would”. The guy with the broken back was told he would never walk again. They made it to the North Pole. To see more about this incredible, inspirational journey, click here.

As I was watching the program about these stunningly determined men, I thought about some challenges I am facing now in my own life, and they shrink to nothing in comparison. If a man with a broken back can walk to the North Pole, I can do anything that is put in my path. Easily! Their journey showed that you can get knocked down and get up again, and again, and again. And that you can do what you put your mind to. Even when most people will think you cannot possibly do it, you can do it if you are sufficiently determined and persistent and you just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

If you have access to the BBC iplayer, you can still see the documentary (Harry’s Arctic Heroes) until Sunday, and I highly recommend it. If not, there are some videos on YouTube. If you are ever feeling worn down, like you are trudging uphill through treacle with steel boots on, remember this story. Remember these men who were told they couldn’t do it…and did. Remember that we humans can triumph over adversity with sufficient determination and persistence. Remember that you CAN do it. It’s got to be easier than walking to the North Pole with a broken back, hasn’t it?!

Have a fantastic weekend!

Love

Donna.x

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What Door Do You Wish To Open?

It’s Wishcasting Wednesday. There is power in wishing – putting your wishes out there sets mighty forces into action…

What Door Do You Wish To Open?

I wish to open the door to greater success, greater abundance, greater service to others, greater joy, greater love, greater energy. I wish to open the door to more life. I wish to open the door to my dreams. I wish to open the door to the adventure and experience that is mine to live. I wish to open the door to all the good that life has to offer me.

Get involved on Jamie’s blog, or leave a comment here. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you also.

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Don’t Tell Me I Suck

Did you know there are 12 weeks left until the end of this year? Yes, I know – time flies doesn’t it? I seem to spend my life saying “I can’t believe it’s October/January/2009/nearly Christmas”. Anyway, what has 2010 been like for you? Did you achieve what you wanted to? Have you had lots of fun? Have you been falling just a little bit more in love with life every day? Are you happy with how life is progressing? If the answer to any of those questions is ‘no’, perhaps the time has come to try a little life coaching? I have 3 one to one coaching spots open between now and Christmas – do you want to take one of them? To find out more about the how, why, where, when, who and how much, click here where you will find answers to all those questions and more! I look forward to working with you to create a life you love. And if you spot any mistakes on this page, please let me know! Despite reading through it 100 times, I am sure I’ve missed something! - Don’t Tell Me I Suck -

One of my least favourite things in the whole world is receiving e-mail that tells me I suck. Not because of anything I’ve done, not thoughtful feedback from someone who knows me, but a random e-mail from some ‘expert’ who tells me what I’m doing wrong and why I suck and why my approach will never work and how they are wonderful and have all the answers.

Grrr. Back in the early years of my business, I was subscribed to hundreds of these things from marketers, business experts and random people off the internet. And every time I received them, I would shrink a little more in confidence. I would read them through, recognise the terrible patterns they described and take their word for it that because I was listening to music while I worked, my business would tank – or some other such shite. It very nearly drove me out of business.

Luckily, I found people who didn’t jump on this bandwagon and instead of telling me I sucked, they just gave me useful information I could use to ‘get better’ at whatever it was. Without making me feel bad about myself and my chances first. People who told it like it was (building a business takes time, changing your life takes time, sorting your financial life takes time etc) without making me discouraged.

It may be a ‘wonderful’ sales technique (doesn’t work on me by the way) but if it leaves me feeling like I’ve just bitten into a rotten apple, it’s not good. The real truth is that there are as many ways of doing things as there are people in the world. Everyone is unique, and has a unique style. Sure, we can model ourselves on successful people…but people who fit our style rather than people who are polar opposites from us.

For example, I know of a successful author who gets up at 5 am to write. I would love to write more books, but I am not going to get up at asleep o’clock to do it. Not least because I am at my worst, my least creative and my grumpiest first thing in the morning – not something conducive to great writing! But I have heard this author say that you ‘have to’ get up early to write.

Hmm. Maybe he ‘has to’. But I am pretty sure that amongst the millions of authors out there, there are some who write in the afternoon, or even (gasp of horror) in the evening. It’s horses for courses. Remember this the next time you have someone who knows nothing about you telling you what you should do. What they mean is ‘this is what I would do’ – which might well be helpful…but it also might be as useless as the advice to get up at asleep o’clock when you are not a morning person.

Anyway, this subject kicked off today because I received an e-mail from someone basically telling me (without knowing a damn thing about me) that the way I was doing business was ‘wrong’. I unsubscribed. If you know me and how I’m doing things, feel free to tell me I suck – I appreciate constructive criticism, it helps me to get better. But don’t tell me I suck when you have no idea about me.

- Something to Play With -

When you get advice this week, remember that what they mean is ‘this is MY opinion’, not ‘this is the law’ – the world has space for all sorts of different routes to success in all areas. Trust yourself to know what’s right for you (if it makes you feel bad/ill/cross, it’s probably not right for you!) And if you have e-mails coming into your inbox that make you feel bad, unsubscribe! Want to share your thoughts on this article?  Leave me a comment below.  Or pop over to my facebook page and write on my wall.

Love

Donna.x

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Learning More From Failure

Do you learn more from failing than you do from succeeding?

It is accepted wisdom that we learn a lot more from making a mess of things than we do from effortlessly flying through. But why?

Is it because there are more lessons when we fail? Or is it because we don’t examine the cause of our success as much as we analyse the cause of our failure?

I believe it is the latter – there are just as many lessons to learn from happiness, ease, joy and success. But we don’t tend to pay any attention when things are going well. As soon as things go bad, we get out the magnifying glass and take it apart!

What’s going well in your life right now? Why is it going well? What are you doing to contribute to this ‘well’ness? What are the factors that make up a happy, successful life for you? Are you doing them?

Make the decision today to learn just as much from what you are doing right as what you are getting wrong.

Love

Donna.x

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Setting Yourself Up For Success

So this week I was interviewed by Deb Sturgess of Create Your Now virtual conference on the subject of ‘setting yourself up for success’ – it was fabulous! We had such a laugh, and I enjoyed converting another group of people to the virtues of treasuring yourself. Today’s article explores this a little more, but if you really want to get into it, get my free ebook “The First Step to a Joyful Life” by Joining my mailing list. If you are on my mailing list already, this will have been sent to you when you joined (if you’ve lost it, drop me an e-mail and I’ll resend it for you.

- Setting Yourself Up For Success -

I have noticed that for every one of my clients, if their self-care and energy is weak, their life is harder and their goals more difficult to achieve! If they feel cared for and energised, many of the seeming problems disappear! Life is easier, more fun, doors seem to open with greater regularity and ease…and they FEEL GOOD! This is what I think setting yourself up for success is about – taking the best care of yourself you can so you FEEL GOOD!

Some people object to this because it’s ‘selfish’, but keeping your one and only body, mind, heart and soul running efficiently is not selfish, it is necessary. Do you consider your car selfish for requiring petrol and oil and water to run efficiently? Do you ask your car to run on empty and consider it self-indulgent if it just stops running when it runs out of fuel? No, of course not. It’s ridiculous.

And when you are full up, when you are taken care of and energised, you have more to give. And when you are overflowing, you can overflow onto others, and you can give them more. Imagine this: you have kids, partners, parents, friends and colleagues who all need something from you. And you are only 50% full up. Your kids need 20% of that so you’re down to 30%. Your spouse needs 15%, you’re down to 15.

Your family needs you, and they take that last 15%…and they still want more. In the meantime your best friend is really sick and needs you…but you have nothing left to give. You are now feeling depleted and worn out yourself and you need help from those around you – who are in the same position as you, they have nothing to give! If you are full in the first place, you can give to your children, spouse, family and friends and still feel good.

Especially if you are refilling as you go along. So let’s look at another example. Let’s say you are overflowing, feeling wonderful – you’re at about 200%. As in the example before, you give 20% to your kids, 15% to your spouse, 15-20% to your family, 20% to your best friend…and even if you don’t fill up anymore, you still have 125% to give! The quality of the care and attention you can give is better – you’re not giving the people in your life the dregs of yourself.

And you feel good. So is that really selfish? I don’t think so. I personally think it is more selfish to do it the other way, because you are not able to give as much or as high quality. You are also teaching the people around you that you are worthy…and that they are worthy too. If you can take care of yourself, you give your loved ones permission to take care of themselves too. What could be less selfish?

- Something to Play With -

Are you setting yourself up for success by taking the best possible care of yourself you can? Are you feeling cared for right now? If the answer is no, what can you do right now to care for yourself? Go do it. Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below. Or pop over to my facebook page and leave a comment there.

Love

Donna.x

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Climb Every Mountain

I went to see ‘The Sound of Music’ at the theatre over the weekend. It was fabulous of course, but the bit that really got my heart singing was “Climb Every Mountain”. Let me remind you of the lyrics:
“Climb every mountain, search high and low
Follow every by way, every path you know
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream

A dream that will need, all the love you can give
Everyday of your life, for as long as you live
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream

A dream that will need, all the love you can give
Everyday of your life, for as long as you live
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your… dream…”

Notice that it says EVERY mountain, EVERY rainbow. Not ford one or two streams, then give up. Too often we give up on our dreams, on ourselves because ‘it didn’t work out’, life got in the way, naysayers called us ‘unrealistic’ or it took more effort than we anticipated! If you want to follow your dream, it’s going to take time and effort, there will be obstacles – some in your own mind, some in other people, some practical and physical. Maria’s dream came true really quickly and relatively easily.

But most dreams take a little more time, and you do have to climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow…and as you journey you realise that climbing the mountain, fording the stream and following the rainbow are fun. Getting your dream at the end is the icing on the cake! (and of course, at that point, there will be a new dream to chase!) Give yourself, and your dreams a chance. Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow…

Love

Donna.x

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The Standard of Success Is Joy

“The standard of success in life isn’t the things. It isn’t the money or the stuff. It is absolutely the amount of joy that you feel.” – Abraham

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Happy Monday!

Love

Donna.x

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The Heart of the Matter

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want (and then PLEASE forgive me for quoting the Spice Girls!) Do you know what you want? And why do you want that thing? Keep asking why do you want that, and why do you want that, and why, why, why until you get to the heart of the matter. Why? Because sometimes you can get what you want faster than you think, sometimes you can get what you want more easily than you think, and sometimes you realise that what you thought you wanted isn’t what you really really want at all.

For example, I want to lose weight. Why? So I can look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. Why? So I can love myself. Why? That’s the root of it – loving myself. Do I need to lose weight to do this? Nope. I can love myself right now. At the weight I am. It doesn’t mean I won’t still want to lose weight, because there are other ‘why’s for that – fitness, health, wearing my favourite shorts that are currently a size too small. But the main ‘why’ I can get right now, just by changing my attitude to me. (Just planted a kiss on myself. MWAH!)

Here’s another example: I want to expand my business. Why? 1. To help more people. Why? That’s the root of it! 2. To make more money. Why? To enjoy my life more! Why? That’s the root of it. Can I do that without expanding my business? Oh yeah. In fact, I can do it without making any more money at all. And I can make more money without necessarily expanding my business (money can come in a thousand different ways). And one final example from a client of mine: “I want to get a promotion.” Why? “So I can make more money.” Why? “So I can leave this job and travel the world.” Seriously, that was the answer!

This person realised that they could travel the world by selling some old stuff, saving from their current job, and doing a few hours overtime for a couple of months. Within 6 months, they had bought their round the world ticket. Whereas the promotion would have added a lot of stress, overtime without pay, and a good 2 years onto the dream…if not forever. So check what you want, what you really, really want at the heart of what you’re aiming for. And you never know, there might be a quicker, easier, or more fun route to get what you want!

Love

Donna.x

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Paddle Your Own Canoe. Your Way

I was just reading a newsletter from Chris Guillibeau of The Art of Non Conformity, and he got me thinking. He was talking about going against conventional wisdom. For example, Henry Ford said “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said “faster horses.”" Yet ‘conventional wisdom’ says ask your customers what they want. The article made me think about all the conflicting ‘success’ advice there is out there, and how I am often paralysed by the advice that tells me to do something I just don’t wanna.

For example, apparently I “should” blog every hour, have ‘conversations’ on Twitter (even though I HATE how that clogs up a tweet stream with half a conversation), get a bazillion people on my list (whether they’re interested in what I do or not), have a positive title for my blog posts, have a negative title for my blog posts, post on Facebook approximately once every 4 seconds…yadda, yadda, yadda. Ok, maybe I misheard or misunderstood or wasn’t listening properly to the advice, but the point remains, there’s a lot of contradictory stuff out there.

And here’s the funny thing (for me): lots of successful people DIDN’T follow the advice and they got on ok. I met Sarah Tremellen, the founder of Bravissimo, and she said that she did everything wrong (according to conventional wisdom)! Of course, she’s only turning over £42 billion or something like that, so clearly she got it wrong. And I was just thinking, if I had taken advice on how to do it when I learned to walk, I would NEVER have learned to walk! There would have been just too much contradictory, conflicting and confusing stuff.

So here’s an idea: By all means watch what the others are doing and copy it if it feels good for you…but otherwise, paddle your own canoe. Set your own course. And one day you can say to others “this is how to do it” when you of course mean “this is how I did it”.

Love

Donna.x

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Keep Seeking Your Passion

I was having a clearout this weekend, and I came across a couple of courses I did back in the late 90′s – Positive Thinking and Journalism. I had a little chuckle to myself at the memories of these courses – I thought the positive thinking course was a bit thin, not that useful, but actually when I looked back at the material, it was the distilled essence of some very profound ideas about attracting your ideal life. A little too distilled for me at that time, I missed the profundity and much of the substance of it went right over my head. Proof, if you like that you have to study a subject in much detail to understand some very basic principles!

As for the journalism course – this was a great disappointment to me. I was convinced that I would be a fabulous freelance writer. The journalism course gave me somewhat of a rude awakening. Looking back at the rubbish I wrote and handed in, I now admire my tutor’s restraint, tact and encouragement, although at the time I thought him very harsh! Not to put too fine a point on it, my articles sucked. I did not set the world alight with my writing, much to my disappointment.

Now, I’m not telling you this to regale you with tales of how rubbish I was. But the thought occurred to me that I did what lots of people do – I tried out various courses and ideas to help me find my passion. Along the way I found a few things that didn’t work out, I found out I wasn’t as fabulous as I thought I was. And yet, I didn’t stop. I kept seeking – did more courses (accountancy, IT stuff), I went travelling, did yet more courses, got some coaching and eventually ended up starting my own business.

Some people might just see where I am now – how would they know about the failed courses, the stupid ideas, the seemingly endless ‘please let this be it’ phase I went through? But the back story was a fairly unhappy experience. Looking back on it, I have quite fond memories of this time, but at the time it felt very painful, difficult and as if I was failing in all directions. The experience felt so unpleasant because I took it all very seriously and lost my sense of humour a bit. All part of the experience I guess.

It’s worth remembering that a few failed ventures can be just part of the experience. Each one of those courses, travels and attempts brought me closer in some way to where I am today. Some because I enjoyed them so much, some because I really didn’t enjoy them. Either way, they were part of the puzzle. So if you are seeking your passion, allow yourself to bounce back from things that don’t work out and keep moving forward. Don’t take the setbacks seriously. If you do, you might give up altogether and THAT would be the most serious setback of all.

Love

Donna.x

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