The 3 Pillars: Rocket Fuel for Your Big Dream

The foundation of my coaching program is what I call the “3 Pillars” – self care, energy and joy. If you are cared for, full of energy and enjoying life, everything else is easier and falls more easily into place. Life flows more smoothly, creativity is easier to access, action is easier, inspiration flows through you. Everytime I have been struggling with life, either my self-care, energy or joy has been low. If I’m cared for, energised and enjoying life, bumps in the road don’t bother me as much.

Just in our normal lives, we need to be cared for, energised and enjoying life. When it comes to our Big Dreams, they demand even more from us – more energy, more time, more ‘stepping out of our comfort zone’, more growth, more connection, more life. (they also give a lot back, but that’s a different story) When you are following a Big Dream, that dream needs you to be in tip-top shape – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. If you’re not, it is harder to follow your path, and you will find yourself having to stop and refuel often.

Because I’ve had a virus in April, I had to practice Extreme Self-Care to get myself back to full fitness as quickly as possible (just going back to your normal routine as soon as you feel human again doesn’t work – I tried!). Extreme Self-Care simply means taking extremely good care of yourself – listening to your body and giving it what it needs; listening to your mind and giving it what it needs; listening to your heart and giving yourself the emotional care you need; listening to your soul and giving it what it needs to thrive. (For more about self-care, see my free ebook on the subject)

Energy is the second piece in the puzzle. Once you have your self-care sorted, you then need to energise yourself. Refuel, as it were. Without energy, how can you achieve your Big Dream? Without energy, how can you give your all to something that is outside your comfort zone? When you’ve got lots of energy (think Tigger!), you can bounce your way through and do everything you will need to do for your Big Dream. Many clients think this ’3 Pillars’ work is optional at first…until they notice the obvious link between lack of self-care, energy and joy and struggle in any area of life.

The last piece in the puzzle is JOY! Although it is the final piece, it is just as important as the other 2. And I have found over the years that clients will realise the importance of self-care and energy fairly quickly…but this joy piece takes more time to accept! Which does amuse me, because in my view, enjoying life is why we’re here! We’re having this life experience in order to experience the joys that can be found (even the joys in sorrow). Living a life filled with small joys is a beautiful experience. And for your Big Dream, it is Rocket Fuel! Imagine yourself as joyous – imagine how much you can get done in that energy of joy, imagine dancing through all the tasks you need to do to accomplish your Big Dream. Imagine being happy not because you’ve achieved your Dream, but just because you are enjoying life on the way to the next Big Dream…and the next!

The 3 together will make your life so much easier, and your Big Dream seem so much closer that you will wonder how you ever got anything done before! Once you have these strong foundations in place, you will find it easier to fly!

Your Homework

EVERY DAY ask yourself this:
How cared for am I feeling right now on a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘not at all’ and 10 is ‘cradled in the arms of love’. If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something to make yourself feel more cared for – do something that nourishes you.

If it is a 7 or more, ask yourself this:
How energetic am I feeling right now on a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘no energy’ and 10 is ‘I feel like Tigger, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy!’ If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something to raise your energy – do something fun, get out in nature, do something you love that raises your energy.

If it is a 7 or more, ask yourself this:
How much am I enjoying life right now a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘I’m not’ and 10 is ‘I am totally in love with my life’. If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something fun, something you enjoy – this is your life. ENJOY it!

When all 3 are a 7 or above, then you will naturally get moving on your big dreams because you feel good, you have mental clarity, you are enjoying life, you have energy. Make feeling good a habit, and see yourself get more productive and efficient (as well as happier, healthier, more energetic!).

To push this even further – when you regularly get to a 7 in all areas, try for an 8 every day, then a 9 when that gets ‘easy’, then a perfect 10 when 9′s are ‘easy’.

I would love to hear how you get on with this challenge – simply reply to this e-mail to tell me about your thoughts, your experience, your self-care, your energy and your joy!

This article was taken from May’s Dreams to Reality newsletter – to sign up, click here.

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Ask Donna: Huge Knockback to My Big Dream

Q: I’ve had a big knockback in my Big Dream. I am so disappointed, feel like everything I’ve worked towards is a waste and I feel like a total failure. – Alison

Please know that you’re not alone in this – many of us who follow a Big Dream get knockbacks, disappointments and hit roadblocks. Here’s my 3-step plan for you:
Step 1: Extreme self-care – here’s the link to the podcast about it: Extreme Self-care. The question you want to ask yourself is “What would I do today if I were taking extremely good care of myself?”
Step 2: Process your feelings. Safely. Gently…AFTER you’ve been taking extremely good to yourself. My 3 favourite ways are talking it through, writing about it and moving it through – by dancing or boxing or walking or running. Come over to http://www.facebook.com/donnaonthebeach to get a daily writing prompt.
Step 3: Get back in touch with your Big Dream, get back in touch with what you felt so passionate about. If your Big Dream is still important to you, don’t let the knock-back stop you.

Love

Donna.x

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You Gotta Have Friends

Among the many wonderful things about self-employment, there are a few things that totally suck. One is the fact that every day you have to pick yourself up to work – whether you feel good or bad, prosperous or broke, whether everything is going well or everything is going wrong, whether you have lots of clients or are wondering if the whole world left for another planet and no one told you. Every morning, day after day, you have to pick yourself up to do some work.

And no one else tells you what you need to be doing either. You can work for a week on something and then realise it doesn’t work and have to start again. You have moments where it is all coming together, and moments when it all falls apart. Days when you seem to meet ideal clients, business partners, mentors and new friends with ease, and days when you are so isolated you accost the postman for a chat.

There are times when this gets exhausting, and all you want to do is lay your head on the desk and weep. And at these times there are 2 things to remember: Number one, check your level of self-care – when you’re self-employed it is even more important that you take care of the engine, because if your engine breaks there’s no one else to step in. And Number two, you gotta have friends – remember they are there for you when you need them.

I recently had one of those days where everything looked immensely bleak, it was all very difficult and I was too exhausted to pick myself up and carry on. Luckily one of my friends called as I was in the middle of my stress, and the troops rallied round to help me. One friend offered me help to get shit done, one offered me a facial, one offered me a big hug, one offered me a shoulder to (literally) cry on, and one told me that if I got in this state without calling her again, she’d beat me up!

See, you gotta have friends!

Love

Donna.x
PS thank you friends. Love you. xxx

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Podcast: Extreme Self-Care and Your Big Dream

Your Big Dream requires a lot from you – a lot of your energy and time, and they demand that you are very well cared of. Extreme self-care means going the extra mile for ourselves, taking extremely good care of yourself. Taking care of yourself body, mind, heart and soul, and supporting yourself fully, 100% caring for you. You need to be in tip-top shape to be able to give your Big Dream anything outside of your normal, busy life.

To listen to this week’s podcast, click here: Extreme Self Care and Your Big Dream

Homework:
Answer this question every day: If I was taking EXTREME good care of myself today, what would I do? And do it!

To listen to the 3 pillars podcast, go to http://www.donnaonthebeach.com/blog/2012/01/dreams-to-reality-podcast-the-3-pillars/

You can also subscribe to this podcast on itunes here.

May all your dreams become reality.

Love

Donna.x

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Ask Donna: A New Dream is Calling

Q: I had a Big Dream I’ve been working towards for years…and now I have that Dream, I find another Big Dream is lurking under the surface. The trouble is that the new Big Dream is totally different and I will need to let go of a lot of the things I’ve worked so hard for. I feel so frustrated – I thought I’d be happy when I got this, but instead I’m now hankering after another challenge. What is wrong with me? – Sarah

Rather than be happy ‘when…’, work to be happy now – whatever your circumstances. Who you are, what you like, what you want changes as you age, and if you rely on any outside circumstance to be happy, when you change or the circumstance changes, that will affect your happiness. One way to do this is work on your self-care, energy and joy on a daily basis – when you’re cared for, energised and enjoying life (whatever the circumstance), the changes are easier to navigate.

When you change your dreams, you don’t lose everything – all the skills you have learned stay with you, the courage, the growth, the confidence stay with you. Your inner wisdom will tell you what you need to do now, and how to let go of the old and welcome in the new. To read more about this March daily practice, click this link http://www.donnaonthebeach.com/blog/2012/03/march-daily-practice-trust-yourself/.

To ask your question, simply comment below or use the contact page.

Love

Donna.x

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Ask Donna: Exhausted and Discouraged

Question: I am following my big dream and it’s been really hard work. I feel exhausted and discouraged, and worst of all I don’t feel I can talk about this as everyone keeps telling me to ‘be positive’ or give up. Maria

People who are not following their big dreams sometimes don’t understand those of us who are. Ask for the support you need from your friends – be really clear with them about how they can help you. Take a break from your big dream – when you are exhausted, the best thing you can do is relax and take a couple of days off from working on your big dream so you can replenish yourself and come back clear headed and chilled out.

Here’s the link to the podcast about the 3 Pillars: http://www.donnaonthebeach.com/blog/2012/01/dreams-to-reality-podcast-the-3-pillars/ – the 3 Pillars are self-care, energy and joy. If you’re not feeling cared for, you will feel exhausted and discouraged just because your self-care is low. If your energy is low, you have less to give your big dream. If you are not enjoying life…well, that sucks!

If you have a question, leave a comment below this post.

Love

Donna.x

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Dreams To Reality Podcast: The 3 Pillars

The 3 Pillars: Self Care, energy and joy. These 3 things are the foundation of a successful life – if you feel uncared for, depleted and you’re not enjoying life, life is so much harder! And if you want to make your big dream a reality, you need to be cared for, full of energy and enjoying your life.

To listen to this week’s podcast, click here: The 3 Pillars

Homework:
EVERY DAY ask your HEART this:
How cared for am I feeling right now on a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘not at all’ and 10 is ‘cradled in the arms of love’. If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something to make yourself feel more cared for – do something that nourishes you.
How energetic am I feeling right now on a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘no energy’ and 10 is ‘I feel like Tigger, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy!’ If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something to raise your energy – do something fun, get out in nature, do something you love that raises your energy.
How much am I enjoying life right now a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘I’m not’ and 10 is ‘I am totally in love with my life’. If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something fun, something you enjoy – this is your life. ENJOY it!

You can also subscribe to this podcast on itunes here.

May all your dreams become reality.

Love

Donna.x

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Silly Season

How stressful has Christmas become?! Since November I have heard people everywhere saying ‘oh god, it’s nearly Christmas…are you ready? I’m not ready, I haven’t even started. Aaaaaaaargh!’ Now Christmas really is nearly hear, the stress is reaching a crescendo…just look at the joyful (not!) faces in the shops.

Magazines and newspapers are full of articles on ‘surviving’ Christmas – like it’s some kind of disastrous event! What happened to ’tis the season to be jolly’?! Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate that Christmas can be stressful – there’s the financial strain, the consequences of getting the ‘wrong’ present, the enforced family time, the cooking, the endless parties…

However, it’s a national HOLIDAY! A time to enjoy yourself. And get pressies. This year, why not give yourself the best pressie of all and design your Christmas so you look forward to it, enjoy it and ‘survive’ with effortless ease?! I am very lucky, because my Christmas is always the same – mass, breakfast, pub, dinner, pressies, tv, sleep. Hoorah!

A few of my favourite things in one day. So, you’ve got 2 weeks (stop panicking!) – what can you do to minimise the things you hate, and maximise the things you love this year? Tip: if you join in with the December Daily Practice of Self-care, this will help immensely!

- Something to Play With -

A. What do you love about Christmas? B. What do you hate about Christmas? C. How can you make sure you get more of A and less of B in this festive season?

Love

Donna.x

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Wishcasting – What do you wish to celebrate?

It’s Wishcasting Wednesday. There is power in wishing – putting your wishes out there sets mighty forces into action…

What do you wish to celebrate?
Firstly, Happy Birthday to Jamie (the originator of Wishcasting Wednesday)! And on the subject of Birthdays, I wish to celebrate my birthday on Saturday! Then I wish to celebrate my car passing the MOT with flying colours; I wish to celebrate my friendships – I am very blessed with my lovely friends; I wish to celebrate the progress my business and life have made this year (so far!); I wish to celebrate the new direction I’ll be going in in January (to find out more, make sure you’re keeping in touch with me!) with the business; I wish to celebrate the new ventures I’ll be involved in next year (podcasts, Ask Donna videos, new programs – exciting times!).

I wish to celebrate the December daily practice of self-care, which has encouraged me to get up and dance today, to snooze on Monday, to finish work early yesterday, to enjoy painting my toenails sparkly blue (in work time no less!) and much more in the week it’s been going; I wish to celebrate that I have done the morning pages almost every day for the last 6 months; I wish to celebrate my health, which despite an unwelcome diagnosis last year, seems to be better than ever; I wish to celebrate my wonderful life (not my perfect life, cos I still have room to expand and enjoy EVEN more), but I wish to celebrate my life with all its imperfections, problems, questions, quandary’s and concerns! I wish to celebrate my life just as it is.

Get involved on Jamie’s blog, or leave a comment here. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you also.

Love

Donna.x

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December Daily Practice: Self-care

Happy December to you! Woohoo! I love December – despite the fact that I despise the cold and dark, December contains my birthday, Christmas, pressies galore, sparkly lights, holidays and crap tv. Hazah! Hope you are delighted to see the beginning of December too! So, a new month, and it’s time for a new daily practice for this month. After a couple of fun ones (laughter, dancing), this month is a more caring one. Self-care to be precise. December is one of those months where there is a lot of stress – financial stress, time stress, work stress, pressie stress, shopping stress, cooking stress, family stress, friend stress.

Added to all that, in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s bloody cold. And with all the stress, it’s a prime time for colds and flus, exhaustion and depression. Which is when we need self-care the most, and for many of us, the time we care for ourselves the least – that’s why we get sick, over-stressed, wound up and agitated. So this month, our daily practice is self-care. To join in this practice, all you need to do is take a moment every day to check how cared for you feel on a scale of 1-10 (where one is ‘not at all’ and 10 is ‘cradled in the arms of love’). If your level of self-care is less than a 7, you need to do something to take care of yourself.

I know time is scarce in the busy holiday month, but your self-care is very important. You will enjoy the holiday season much more if you take care of you. You will enjoy your LIFE much more if you take care of you. And it can be done with much less time than you think. 10 minutes a day, 5 minutes, even 30 seconds of self-care will make a difference to how cared for you feel. And as for it being ‘selfish’ to put yourself first – who benefits most when you are healthy, happy, joyful, fun to be around, rested, and filled up so that you have more than enough to give? Your family and friends.

When you are depleted, sick, angry, agitated, exhausted and have nothing to give, your closest friends and family suffer. Because you have nothing left for them. So it is LESS selfish to take care of yourself! So are you in? Are you going to make self-care your daily practice for December? For daily reminders, join me on Facebook. And keep an eye on the blog this month for articles and ideas to help you take your self-care seriously!

Love

Donna.x

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