What’s Wrong With Me

Why is it that the first place we go to when we’re upset, angry or ill is ‘what’s wrong with me’. I’ve had a few conversations over the bank holiday which went to the ‘wrong with me’ place. My friend was upset – ‘what’s wrong with me?’ You’re upset! There’s nothing ‘wrong’. I was angry – what’s wrong with me? Nothing. I was angry. I got over it! Another friend was feeling really exhausted – ‘what’s wrong with me?’ Nothing. She’s run down, tired and needs to chill out with a big bar of chocolate, a book and a bath. Once she’d done that over the weekend, the feeling of exhaustion went away.

As did the sense that something was ‘wrong’. What annoys me about this focus (and I do it too) is that it always puts us in the naughty chair. We’re angry, hurt, upset, feeling under the weather and we’re looking for ‘what’s wrong with me’. You know what? There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with you. You’re just human. Humans feel emotions. They feel hurt, jealousy, anger, embarrassment, sadness, tiredness. Humans (as a general rule) are not happy, skippy, bouncy every day. You know me, I’m a ‘joyful life’ coach – it’s all about enjoying your life for me.

But that doesn’t mean denying ‘negative’ emotions. That doesn’t mean putting yourself in the naughty corner for feeling how you feel. Ironically, living joyfully means living fully with your experience. It is very hard to be joyful when you have unacknowledged anger or sadness. It is difficult to be joyous when you are exhausted. But there is nothing ‘wrong’ with you when you get cross, when you are sad, when you are tired. You’re just cross, or sad, or tired. Not defective. So do me a favour and quit asking ‘what’s wrong with me’ because the truth is that you are beautiful, wonderful, fabulous, amazing, a unique, brightly shining star…and you’re allowed to be HUMAN!

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Staying Out of The Drama

There are hundreds of little things that happen every day that can pull us into a drama, from thoughtless drivers to stolen purses, from being rained on to disputes with your service providers. We are so used to participating in the little dramas of our lives that we don’t even question that we’ve spent 10 hours moaning to friends about this company or that person. In many cases, most people would agree that we have cause to be livid.

But here’s the interesting thing: getting pulled into the drama is never helpful. And it often makes a situation 10 times worse before it gets better. This morning I had a situation that for an hour, pulled me into the drama. I stressed, I told a friend the whole convoluted story, I worried and I was ‘in the drama’. Then I realised that I was busy ruining my day over something that is an irritation, but nothing more.

I set my intention around this (that it will be sorted out to the satisfaction of all involved), felt gratitude that it is sorted, and let it go. I don’t know how it will be sorted, but I know it will be sorted. And in the meantime, I’m not going to worry. In fact, to distract myself from feeling bad, I went on Youtube and found some more Top Gear clips (including a really random one on caravan conkers that I never saw before!)

There is absolutely no benefit in being pulled into the drama of life. No benefit at all. Not only does it not help to change a situation for the better (of course, more drama can make it worse!), but it also ruins your day. Try this the next time you notice you are ‘in the drama’: state how you want this situation to work out (always being open to a better solution!), be grateful that it’s sorted (even if you can’t see how), let it go and go enjoy your life DESPITE whatever is going ‘wrong’.

None of these petty annoyances that you won’t care about in a years’ time are worth even a moment of stress, sadness, or anger on your part.

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.