OnTheBeach – Push, Push, Push

Do you ever get the feeling that you are pushing a stone uphill? Against a herd of bison coming toward you? With your feet tied together? There are times in life when we seem to push and push and push, and yet nothing happens, nothing changes. Apart from our energy level, which visits the basement! And what do you do in response to the ‘nothing happening’?

Push harder? And keep pushing? Yes! Because if you want things to happen, you’ve go to put the hard work in, right? If we let ourselves off the hook for just a second, we will become lazy, idle, unproductive members of society. And this is a bad thing. What would you think if I told you that was absolute tosh? Would you think ‘yes, I know but I still keep pushing myself’?

There is a body of thought which says that when we stop pushing and start allowing things to happen naturally, organically, they happen faster than if we ‘push, push, push’. Not only is the happening faster, it is easier on us – there is a flow, a rhythm, an ease that is joyful. A surprising number of people know this, agree with it and ignore it! Me included on occasion! Just this week I was trying to push myself to do some work.

I was tired, couldn’t concentrate, wasn’t interested, kept being distracted, didn’t want to do it…and it still took me an hour to read the signs and move onto something else! Der. I had become very attached to doing this work – my success or failure had become tied into ‘getting this done’ (a ‘push’ attitude if ever I saw one!). As soon as I let go of pushing myself to ‘get shit done’, I actually managed to do something useful instead of being the living incarnation of resistance to pushing!

This does not mean forgetting altogether about what you want and giving up. It means stopping pushing and trying to force things to happen. It means stepping back from your challenge for a moment and finding out WHY it is so hard to do – it could be many things – there might be a better way, you might need some self care first, there might be something more important to do, you may have something to learn, something you need, something else that has to happen first. If you don’t stop pushing, you will never know if it could be easier to do what you want to do.

And if you collapse in an exhausted heap and the stone you’ve been pushing uphill runs over you, how does that get you closer to what you want? So, if you could stop pushing for a moment, enjoy your life and allow something to evolve naturally, what would change for you today?

love

Donna.xx

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Busy Doing Nothing

Here in the UK we’ve had 2 long bank holiday weekends in a row, meaning we had a 4 day working week, followed by a 3 day working week, followed by another 4 day working week this week…and I have been tapped into the public mood of HOLIDAY. This song sums up perfectly what I’ve been doing over the past 2 weeks…

Time to refocus and get on with some stuff now!

Love

Donna.x

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Overcoming Procrastination

I believe there are only 3 reasons for procrastination:

1, I don’t want to do it

2. I’m not ready to do it

3. There’s a better way to do it.

Procrastination gets a really bad rap, but I believe (like everything) it has a positive side. So if you find yourself procrastinating…check why you’re putting off whatever it is you’re putting off. Do you want to do it? If the answer’s no is there another way to get it done? Can someone else do it? Does it even need to be done? If there’s no other way, it has to be done and you have to do it…make it fun! For example, when I do my accounts, I put my favourite music on the stereo and turn it up LOUD then just get on with it for half an hour or so. i don’t try to do it all at once, I do it in bite size chunks. And I heard this tip for gettting your filing done if you watch CSI Miami: everytime David Caruso touches his sunglasses, file a piece of paper. It’ll all be done in minutes!

If you’re not ready, what’s the next step? I had a client who procrastinated a piece of homework I’d set – when asked, he said he needed a pad to do it. It wasn’t the homework assignment that was the problem, he was just missing a bit of kit! Easy. Everytime I redo my website I procrastinate until the mental stew has marinated enough that I actually know what to do. By allowing myself to ‘not be ready’, I save myself hours of unnecessary work that I will just do again and again.

And lastly, is there a better way? I had a client who was procrastinating making some sales calls. When asked if there were a better way, it emerged that 3 of the 50 people he needed to call hated being sold to by telephone. So, for those 3 there was a much better way – go and see them! The other 47 calls were done within 24 hours, and appointments set up to see the other 3. A classic example of a teeny obstacle getting in the way of a big job.

So, when you find yourself procrastinating, see it as a positive thing – you get to find out if you really want to do this, if you need something to be ready to do it, or if there’s a much better way.

I just thought of a 4th reason…and this is the one that gets me every time – I’m trying to take step 98 before step 1 OR I don’t know what to do next and I need to chunk it down to a baby-step. So there’s another one for you – if you DO want to do it, and you’re ready, and there isn’t a better way…what’s the next baby step?

Oh, and my last tip for procrastination: NEVER EVER use it as a stick to beat yourself with. Trust yourself – you are always doing your best in every moment (even when it seems like you’re not!). Procrastination does not have to be synonimous with ‘pain’.

Love

Donna.x

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Just Take the First Step

I am supposed to be doing my tax return today – it’s 20 past 2 and I still haven’t started! Now I could use this as a stick to beat myself up about procrastinating and being rubbish (this should have been done months ago, blah, blah, blah) but really, what’s the point in that? Instead I’ve been looking at my reluctance with curiosity.

What’s stopping me? It’s not a difficult taks – all the scut work has been done, it’s just a matter of checking figures, and entering them in the tax website. Easy. So what’s stopping me? Simply that I don’t know where the file is! Seriously. That one little mini thing is the ‘obstacle’. I laughed aloud when I realised this, because finding the file was pretty easy (I just looked to my right, and there it was).

Now I’m good to go, and there’s no more obstacle (well, except finishing this!). You know, sometimes it is really that easy. It’s not that we’re lazy, or ‘bad’, or wrong, or that we need a good boot up the arse. We just need to find the file. So next time you have something you appear to be putting off, ask yourself what is the first step and do that. Once you’re moving, it’s easier to stay moving (basic law of physics!) and before you know it, that first step, next step approach will have you finished!

Right, I’m off to do my tax return…and I must think of a reward for myself for doing it (finally – lol!) – any ideas?

Love

Donna.x

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Is Pushing Yourself Good?

So this week I’ve been a little lacking in enthusiasm for the idea of doing work-type things. Talking to clients is no problem, clearing e-mails goes ok, then I get to the marketing/admin/taxes bit and I’m looking for distractions – twitter, facebook, damson picking, dog-walking, tidying up, even going for a beer with my dad on his day off! I thought it was because I was tired the last couple of days so I didn’t really stress about it. But I’m not tired today…and I’m still not that enthused! Hmm.

Now our usual response to this is to just push ourselves to carry on and ‘do’ something, anything, busy-work. I am in the lucky position of working for myself so I don’t have to ‘push’…and I notice that if I do, I still don’t get anything done anyway!! At least nothing usable! I write stuff that’s rubbish and doesn’t get used, it takes 12 times as long to complete any task, and it’s accompanied by lots of aggravated sighing! Lol.

Pointless, I think you will agree. So I’ve just been thinking ‘what would be a better plan?’ Because that’s just a waste of time. Especially as when I am enthused I can get 5 times more done in less time. So I asked myself what would I like to do right now. And it’s not sit at my desk (funnily enough!). See I think, rather than ‘push’ myself, if I can bring myself into enthusiasm by doing something I actually want to do, I’ll get more done.

It will also be more enjoyable. I know that some of us don’t have the luxury of doing whatever we want whenever we want (and if I could, I’d be on a beach in the caribbean!), but we can look at our reluctance to ‘do’ with less judgemental eyes, and just see if there’s a better way. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take my tax paperwork, my Bob Marley CD and myself outside in the sunshine!

Love

Donna.x

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Ah, the Beauty of Technology Plus Procrastination

So all weekend I was procrastinating for Europe on my weekly newsletter – it’s already written, it just needed to be html’d and loaded to my e-mail sender programme. A 15 minute job that I put off and put off and put off and … well, you get the picture. Then today to my astonishment, I got a note saying that my e-mail had been sent. Hmm…how is that possible I mused. TA-DA! Last week’s article was sent this week…no, I’m not blaming technology, it was pure user error.

In my confusion over the US dating convention my auto-responder uses, I set last week’s article to go this week. Oopsie. So, last week my newsletter readers received no mail, and this week you guys who read the blog receive no article. And luckily, I didn’t do any extra work over the weekend or they’d have got 2 at once. See, procrastination is not always bad. And now I have the whole week ahead to procrastinate some more.

Hap hap Hazah.

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – When No Action is the Right Action

A note from Donna -

Well, finally I have completed “The Torturer’s Bible” – who knew that 30 pages would take 5 times as many days?! To those lovely people who are at the front of the queue, you will be receiving your link to download the ebook in the next couple of days. The rest of you will just have to wait til next week. If you can’t wait, drop me an e-mail with “I can’t wait that long, give me the link right now” in the subject.

- When No Action is the Right Action -

When was the last time you said to yourself “I really should have done that by now”? Maybe about your work, your fitness, your clutter clearing, your millionaire status? How often have you berated yourself for a task undone, a plan not put into action, a goal not yet achieved? Berating yourself is usually an attempt to motivate. Sadly, it doesn’t work too well. Mostly, it is demotivating and demoralising – you end up feeling like a failure for not having done whatever you thought you should be doing.

What if it was ok that you had taken no action? What if there was a reason for you to be inactive on this for a while? No, not that you are a lazy slob! A good reason. Maybe even one that you don’t know yet. Readers who’ve been with me for a while may remember an article last year about procrastination – in my view there are 2 reasons to procrastinate: not ready or don’t want to.

Don’t want to is easy, but not ready? How do you spot that one if you think you should be ready?! Let me give you an example. I’ve been writing an ebook for MONTHS…and I ‘should’ have finished it long ago! It’s the first in a long line of ebooks and audio programs…and this first step has taken (what seems to me to be) forever! But guess what? I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t ready.

Now I’d have sworn blind that I was ready all along…and I would have been totally wrong. This project is now finished, and I can see clearly that to have rushed it would have been a mistake. I can see now that those periods of seeming inaction were really ‘simmer-time’ – where the ideas, knowledge and vision were all coming together to make the next steps really obvious.

This happens absurdly often with clients too. They will be berating themselves for not having taken some action, then with hindsight they will realise that the delay factor was a good thing. I believe that we are always doing our best, and I also believe that this is a friendly universe. Put the two together, and maybe inaction is the best action to take?

- Something To Play With -

Think of a project you have been procrastinating on. If this delay was FOR you, and a good thing, why might that be? Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.

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So close…

Right, this free ebook I’ve been working on since the beginning of time. It was nearly finished in February!!! I’m STILL working on it! It’s only 30 pages. By now it should be War and Peace it’s taking so darn long! The trouble is that just when I think I’m done, I get another idea. I got over one obstacle this week – the pictures to go in and for the ‘cover’…oh my life I have gone boss-eyed looking at pictures!

And of course, every search I do I get 25475 possibilities to sift through! But I have narrowed it down, and that bit is done – its just the last bit that needs to go in. I was going to be finished by the end of the week…and at 7pm on Friday, I’ve just thought of another idea!!! But do you know what, this free ebook is MUCH better than it would have been if I’d rushed it and said ‘that’ll do’.

Next week, it’ll be ready. Honest! Remember, if you want a copy before anyone else in the whole wide world, you need to e-mail me with “Have you finished YET? I want to read it!” in the subject line!

The moral of the story? Why beat yourself up over not meeting your expectations when whatever you’re doing is the right thing. Always. You are always doing your best. I wasn’t ready to finish. But I will be. Soon. And next time I will know that I have a lot more to do that WRITING and I’ll be doing it as I go along.

Love

Donna.x

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