Conscious Joyfulness

Well, the office revamp is still going on – today we put together a new wardrobe, which was going to finish off the revamp, give me some storage in there, and turn my office into a little dance studio too cos the doors are mirrored (I’m not a prima ballerina, I just always wanted a dance studio!). Anyway, the mirrored doors are the reason the office revamp is still in progress – 2 of them are broken. Sigh. Still, one was fine and Ikea were lovely and immediately agreed to replace them. So, next week I should have my new office completed! I hope. Meanwhile, I was talking to a client today and we were talking about Joy and being Joyful, which reminded me of this article: enJOY!

- Conscious Joyfulness -

The dictionary definition of joy is ‘a deep feeling or condition of happiness or contentment’. Sounds wonderful – I’ll have some of that! So, how often do you feel joyous? All day every day? Once a day? Once a week? Every now and again? I have a vague suspicion (I could be wrong) that it isn’t that often.

After all, we’re not programmed for joy are we? We’re programmed to be stressed, exhausted, busy and tense. So, we walk round scowling rather than smiling, we worry rather than getting excited, we are more serious than frivolous. Hmm. Which state would be more fun? Which state would be easier? Which state do we work on?

Interesting eh?! We’d enjoy life so much more if we worked on the state of joy, but most of us instead work on the state of stress! You may be frowning at me right now – why would you work on being stressed?! Make no mistake about it…every time you spend time on worry, anger, criticism, negative thoughts and actions you are working on your stress.

Perhaps not consciously, because if you were conscious of ‘working on your stress’, you would stop it. Here’s what we do: something upsets us or stresses us out. Then we worry at it like a dog with a bone. Then we talk about it with our friends, and every time we repeat the story (depending on the level of stress/worry/pain, anywhere between 5 times and 200 times) we relive the pain/stress/worry and charge it with a tremendous amount of energy and exercising our stress muscles so they get big and strong.

When I started thinking about this article, I realised that I too do not feel joyous 24/7, and I started looking for specific examples of things that brought me joy in the last week. A smiley moon, sunshine and starlight, catching up with friends, hearing about achievements and good stuff happening for people, connecting to a higher power, music, dancing, laughter, a good book, a new idea, a hot bubbly bath and a magazine, random acts of kindness, love, spending time with my family…the list goes on and on.

And do you know what I found very curious? I had barely noticed these fabulous things – I was far too busy worrying about something else altogether! Now, I’m going to spend more time working on joy, rather than stress. What about you?

- Something to Play With -

Spend 3-5 minutes brainstorming the things that make you joyful. Then decide to live a joyous life and consciously bring more joy into your life. For example, plan one joyous activity a day for the next week, and see what a difference it makes to your outlook. Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

Love

Donna.x

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Find The Gift

When life throws you lemons, make lemonade (or tequila slammers, depending on your preference!). It’s an old cliche, but a good ‘un! Sometimes life throws stuff at you that sucks, situations that are painful, people who are prats (!), shocks and awful news. That’s life. Last week I talked about playing the best you can with the hand you’re dealt. But there is more you can do. You can actively seek the gift in the rubbish hand! Sticking with the card metaphor for a moment, a bad hand induces you to get much better at the game so you can still win! Getting great cards every time will not improve your skill, it’ll just be easier.

Not that one state is better than another. Great hand – cool! Shite hand – fabulous, I get to play better and winning will mean WAY more. Let’s take it to real life for a second. As you know, I have been given a diagnosis on my health that I’m not overly impressed with. This has already brought me gifts. I have reconnected with some old friends I’d lost touch with. I have found that some friends are FABULOUS at dealing with this kind of thing…and the friendship is stronger for it. I am actively seeking ways to improve my energy and my health, and I’ve already noticed I’m less keen to eat empty sugary things (most unlike me!).

I have been given gifts, including chocolate (my favourite) and several programs from one of my mentors/teachers Carole Dore – this package had me beaming from ear to ear with joy and I am already feeling the benefits of the first 2 products I’ve used. I have been gentler with myself. I have been more aware of my energy, how I feel, and I’ve been following that energy. I’ve received ideas, telephone numbers, potentially helpful information. Wow. Looking at it like that, I’ve already received so much…and I only found out 2 weeks ago. Just imagine what other good stuff could come my way?!

Just imagine for a moment, that this diagnosis is FOR me. That it is something that will lead to good stuff. It is said that often your greatest pain can be your greatest teacher AND your greatest gift. Now of course, I’d rather just take the easy life, thanks…but that’s not an option. Imagine for a moment that my life will get better as a result of my diagnosis. Just like it did when I had throat infections – made me give up smoking which made me feel lots better, not just getting rid of the throat infection. Just as it did when my liver stopped processing booze – which made me drastically cut down on drink (from probably an average of 10 units a day to an average of 1 a week!). Not only was I less often hungover, I had more energy, I was less depressed (didn’t realise drink made me down until I stopped), I felt clearer and happier, and my social life is better. And I spend less!

Now let’s imagine that something that you are not happy about is also a gift to you. It’s something that will ultimately make your life better. Start looking for the gifts. It is usually much easier to see this stuff in hindsight, but if you can detach a little from the pain/discomfort/upset/anger and look for the gift, you can move through the situation more easily. You will be less rocked by the inevitable lemons, and much better able to cheerfully say “lemonade?” when someone asks what you’re doing with your horrid situation.

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Releasing the Pain

The first anniversary of my uncle’s death has just passed…I can hardly believe that it’s been a year already – where does the time go? In an attempt to finally process what happened, I’ve been looking at my diaries and blog entries for this time last year, and finally writing about what happened. I’m letting go of a little of the grief and pain and horror and anger and bewilderment, and as I do I can feel my body, mind and soul releasing some of the tension I’ve been holding for a year.

Things happen in life, and we need to process what’s happened, to let it go, to heal. So many of us just hold it in, and we either explode with long held pain at inappropriate moments or we make ourselves desperately ill. Sometimes with fatal consequences. Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief, pain, anger, hurt…just make sure that you ARE dealing with yours, not just hiding it away for 20 years.

For the last year, I haven’t been able to deal with it at all – every time I tried, I had to retreat in confusion and bury it all again. Now, the time has come to begin to work it through. Even as I write this, I can feel the pain in my heart waiting for release. Is there pain in your heart that you can let go? The trouble with holding the pain there is that it covers up the love that’s there – your heart should be soft, flowing, beautiful love. Not hard, painful, crusted hurt.

The time has come for me…maybe it’s time for you too?

Love

Donna.x

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