Create a Joyful Life with 20% Off

Yep, it’s that crazy time of year again when we set ourselves puritanical goals of deprivation, born of desperation, fear and stress. Small wonder 90+% of New Year’s resolutions are broken within a week! Is there a better way? You bet your butt there’s a better way – instead of focusing on what you want to stop, give up, make yourself do, focus on what you WANT.

This is a great time of year to get coaching on what you WANT in this year ahead, what would be fun, what you would enjoy, what you would LOVE to happen. For that reason, I offer you my January Sale – 20% off all coaching. This means a one-off telephone session for £52 instead of £65, 2 sessions this month for £96 instead of £120, and if you want to commit to 12 sessions of coaching, you get a whopping £120 OFF and pay only £480 instead of £600.

And if you prefer e-mail only coaching, it’s a month of e-mail coaching for a mere £80! Or a week for a teeny £28. Astonishing! This offer will only last a short while as places are limited, so if you are interested e-mail me NOW.

Looking forward to talking to you!

Love

Donna.x

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My Vision for You This Year

Happy New Year! To each and every one of you, I wish you love, luck, laughter, joy, prosperity, good health, fun and a life that makes you go WOW! I see you shining like the bright star you are. I see you radiating your loving heart, your brilliance and your genius into the world. I see paying attention to the joyful moments in your life and breezing past the horrid ones with a flick of your hair and confident step.

I see you dancing like you just don’t care, I see you having the confidence to be your very best you, I see you laughing and enjoying your life. I see you being present with whatever you have in front of you in every moment. I see you falling in love with life, in love with your self and in love with the world around you. I see you looking in the mirror every day with a big smile and saying “Morning GORGEOUS! We have a wonderful day ahead.”

May 2010 be your best year yet!

Lots and lots and lots of love

Donna.xx
PS if you like that vision, and need some help to make it reality, make sure you read tomorrow (Tuesday) as I’ll be announcing my ridiculously special New Year offer!

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Ask Donna – How Can I Carry On With a Joyful Life When I’m Grieving?

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Disturbing the Water

I went for a swim today, and once again was struck by the differences in the way people swim. Some have their own unique strokes that look enormously inefficient but get them up and down the pool faster than I can move! Some disturb the entire pool, thrashing through the water and in the process creating waves that usually hit me just as I am taking in air, making me splutter. And still others cut gracefully through the water, barely creating a ripple as they go by.

I aspire to be one of the latter ones – at one with the water, enjoying the strokes, getting the distance done but without unecessary effort. In life too, this is my philosophy. I could thrash around, making a lot of noise and leaving mayhem in my wake…but frankly that is far too much like hard work! I could (and I have) devise my own way, looking chaotic but actually moving quite fast…again, it’s too hard! Or I could go through life gracefully, joyfully, finding the path of least resistance and enjoying the flow…Mmmmm, that’s the one for me.

After all, why waste energy disturbing the water (and yourself!) when you don’t need to?

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Don’t Let the B’s Grind You Down

My parents have a saying “Don’t let the b*stards grind you down” – and there are times when this is the most pertinent advice that can be given! Because this is exactly what happens if you’re not vigilant – years and years of criticism, minor annoyances and unsupportiveness can just grind down your good humour and confidence. Don’t let the b*stards grind you down.

How do you stop them??? Well, trying to stop anyone else doing anything is an exercise in futility! So here’s what you can do: don’t take it on. Don’t give away your power to someone else. Don’t allow other people to put you down. They can say the words, but if you don’t listen, those words have no power alone. Words can be like acid, corroding and eating away at you…but not if you don’t take it on.

Put it this way, if someone called you a blueberry, how much would you take that on board? How much would you allow that to hurt you? How much would you repeat it and keep hurting yourself with it? I am hoping you are saying ‘not at all’!! But if they call you ‘stupid’ or they criticise you or are unsupportive, that’s exactly what we do – we take it as gospel, we allow ourselves to be hurt by it, we repeat it to ourselves and others and pick the scab off the hurt so much that we are scarred by it.

Funnily enough, when we get a compliment, we don’t give that the same amount of energy and care! Interesting how we’re more prepared to think the worst of ourselves eh? Anyway, we’re talking about not letting the b*stards grind you down. Here’s what I do when faced with an insult, a criticism, an annoyance, “feedback”: I look at it objectively (once I’ve calmed down if it riled me!) and try to see their point of view. If they have a point, I take it as welcome help to improve – then I let it go. If they don’t, I just let it go.

Notice that I do get riled (oh my god, I’m HUMAN! Shock horror) – but I don’t give them the power to ruin my whole life! It is just a point of view, just a moment in time, just something given (often thoughtlessly). One person telling you that you are wrong does not make you wrong 100% of the time! So stop taking on this stuff – know yourself better, have confidence in yourself, and instead of repeating the bad stuff, repeat this like a mantra: I know that you are amazing, intelligent, worthy, wonderful and a really good laugh. Don’t let anyone tell you different!

- Something To Play With -

Notice what you do when someone annoys, criticises or insults you. Do you shrug it off and move on? Or do you chew over old soup until you make yourself sick on it?? For this week, experiment with only repeating to yourself the nice things people have said to you – keep chewing them over, you’ll find they taste a lot better! Share your thoughts on this article below – leave me a comment.

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OnTheBeach – The Strategic Approach

What is your life strategy? Do you have every last move planned out – including several escape routes and alternatives in case of change? Do you have no strategy whatsoever and just roll with the punches? Are you looking in the opposite direction so you don’t even see the punches coming? I got a questionnaire from http://www.luckspreader.com/ today, and filling it in made me realise something…I do have a life strategy – and most people would not consider it a strategy. Including me…until I thought about it!

When I asked you about your life strategy, what did you think of? Maybe it was a sporting analogy, or some kind of life map. Maybe the very word ‘strategy’ put you to sleep after all the ‘strategic meetings’ you’ve been forced to sit though at work. Maybe there was a big blank space where thoughts should be! Did you think ‘follow my intuition and reach for joy’? If so, e-mail me immediately and let me know because that’s what I do!

That’s my ‘strategy’ for life. And even if I say so myself, it’s a pretty bloody good strategy! With this particular strategy, it is impossible to lose. The very worst thing that can happen is that I enjoy myself (deary-me what a dreadful possibility!). A strategy is defined as a plan, method, or series of maneuvers or stratagems for obtaining a specific goal or result. What is the specific goal or result that you want for your life?

Most people want to have a ‘good life’ – which I define as a joyful life rather than a life full of stuff. I wonder if you have ever taken the time to state specifically what the goal from your life is? Maybe now’s a good time to do so…and to work out your strategy? Say for example your goal from life is to drive yourself into the ground, then your strategy could be to work 15 hours a day. Or your goal from life might be to be miserable, and your strategy is do stuff you hate that makes you unhappy.

I’m not sure entirely why you would want to do that…but so many people do that there must be a really good reason that I am missing altogether! Perhaps it is just that we do not take the time to think what our goal for life is, and what the strategy is to achieve it. Feel free to copy mine – Goal: To have a joyful life. Strategy: Follow my guidance and enjoy life. It’s working well for me and the clients I have shared it with!

Something to play with
If someone else were to look at your life right now, what might they say the strategy and goal are? Would they say it was to complain incessantly and end up bitter and twisted? To be very driven and to be financially successful? To embrace mayhem and have a barmy life? What is your real goal for your life? What do you want your life to be? And what is your strategy to get there?

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The Back from Holiday Blues

Thank you guys, for missing me!! I have had a few e-mails asking where the heck I’ve been and why have you got nothing to read on a Monday morning – I really appreciate that you noticed and cared that I’d gone. And for those of you who didn’t notice or care…I’ve been on holiday! I’ve been in Tenerife for a wedding – beautiful day, beautiful bride and I had big hair…what more can one ask for? Well, summer in England for a start. But there are some things you cannot guarantee…summer in England is one of them!

- The Back from Holiday Blues -

Oh, boy, did I NOT want to come back from my holidays! I was enormously sulky about the whole business. Not only did I not want to come back, but the pilot compounded my lack of enthusiasm by announcing over Exeter that Birmingham was “shrouded in cloud, with 25 miles per hour cross winds, raining and 13 degrees”. Oh yip, fly faster. I am not a good flyer either so I spent the entire (interminable) landing clutching the arm rests and my rosary beads, wishing they’d let me jump out (much less scary) or land the plane somewhere where there were not 25 mph cross winds!

Now I’ve had a few days to recover from the ordeal and get used to wearing warm clothes again, I can’t really say I’m delighted to be back…but I am letting go of the holiday blues! In days gone by, it would be August before I was back to ‘normal’ but these days I kind of enjoy a couple of days of misery, then I get on with making things better. The interesting thing is that I love what I do, and still I have the back from holiday blues! Nowadays though, I love it when this type of thing happens because it shows me where things need to change.

What I loved about my holiday (apart from glorious weather, lots of nice food, the sea and watching beautiful sunsets from my balcony) was that I had space. Space to think, space to just wander around for a few hours, space to sit in the sun reading a book for hours, space to go swimming in the Atlantic or the rooftop pool, space to just be. Despite the fact that life is 100 times better than it was 5 years ago, it is still quite packed with things to ‘do’. I am one of these people who is never bored – there’s always something to read, write, watch, somewhere to go, people to get in touch with.

On holiday all that got left behind…and even though I was out there for a wedding and there were always people around and parties to be attended, there was spare time for purposeless pottering. Oh, I do this at home too, but I get irritated that I have wasted 10 hours puttering about! So over the coming weeks, I am going to be simplifying, decluttering, creating space in many ways and bringing more of that ‘holiday’ feeling to my life. And (when it’s not raining) I shall be finding a place where I can watch the sun set. A key ingredient of a happy life!

So, I guess that you are preparing for holiday season too? At least in this hemisphere. Do you get the holiday blues? Does it take you months to get over them? Do you use the experience to change something about your life to make it better and more ‘OnTheBeach’? Or do you use it as a stick with which to beat yourself about how much life sucks? You don’t have to sell your house and move to Spain to make changes that will give you that ‘holiday’ feeling. Small steps, small changes, and the back from holiday blues will help you make your life AMAZING!

- Something To Play With -

You don’t need to wait til you come back from a holiday to start making changes – think now about what gives you the post-holiday blues. If there’s a list of 200 things, cool – you have lots of ways you could change your life!! Pick one thing, just one, that would be quite easy to change…and bring some of that holiday magic to your normal life! Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.

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OnTheBeach – Bit by Bit by Bit by Bit

I had the excellent fortune to get a ticket for the Abraham Hicks workshop in London this week, and a fabulous time was had by all. Esther Hicks is an inspirational speaker who dialogs with a group of spiritual teachers who call themselves Abraham. It might seem a bit ‘woo-woo’ to some, but it’s fascinating stuff – and much of their teachings can be easily translated to the ‘real’ world. For example, bit by bit by bit by bit.

You see, we all want to go from skint to millionaires in 2 steps, from single to married in a heartbeat, from miserable to joyful in a day and a half (less if we can manage it!). So we go through a circuit of determination, followed by disillusionment when the thing we want doesn’t appear instantly, followed by despair, and again and again. Ok, maybe I exaggerate slightly (you’ll be astonished to note!).

I have seen it many times – people get really angry with themselves for not being fitter, faster, stronger, better. An entirely self-defeating practice if ever I heard one. While we are on the way to achieving what we want to achieve, we rarely stop to notice that we are getting there, that progress (however miniscule) is being made, that each step we take brings us closer to where we want to be in life.

Take a joyful life for example. I went from being a total misery-guts who contemplated suicide in the 90′s (only briefly, and I wasn’t very serious about it) to being ‘DonnaOnTheBeach’ – the woman who, a friend told me yesterday, is ‘all about joy’. Did I make this leap from despair to joy in 10 minutes? Did I stop mid-sentence and change my attitude? Did I have a personality transplant? No, to all 3 questions! (although some of my friends find the change incredible!)

So how did I do it? Bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit…you get the message right?! Step by step. And sometimes I felt like nothing was happening at all, like I wasn’t moving, like nothing was changing. But it was – bit by bit. They say a watched pot never boils, and it’s the same with personal changes! Because you are with you all the time, you can’t see the changes that are happening…but they are. Bit by bit.

- Something To Play With -

What would you really like your life to be like? What would you love to have in your life? Stop for a moment and notice how far you have already come. Notice that changes are happening – bit by bit. And that they will continue to happen, bit by bit…just let go of your impatience (a subject for another day!). Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails

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OnTheBeach – Why Wait to Be Happy

- A note from Donna -

I got some bad news this week. A friend of the family died. I seem to have said that an awful lot in the last year. Death and his scythe seem to be very busy round here right now. This man turned 40 just a few short weeks ago and leaves 2 small children and his wife. Ugh. How many reminders can we take that life is short?? As you can imagine it’s left me feeling a bit flat this week, but when we went to see his wife and kids, me and the kids ended up outside on the trampoline at 9 at night – even at sad times, there’s fun to be had.

Lastly there will be a new recommended read next week, so if you’re interested in being a journalutionary, now’s the time!

- Why Wait to be Happy? -

What is in the way of you being happy right now? What are you waiting for? The right partner? The right house? Maybe the moon in Pisces? Everyone else to do what you think they should do? Is it the case that you can only be happy if everything is in alignment? Can you only enjoy life if all your ducks are in a row? Have you imposed conditions on your ability to have a great life?

If you are waiting for some conditions to be met before you can enjoy life, you are wasting perfectly good happy time. I’m going to keep this short this week because the dog is standing by me wagging her tail – we’re going to go jump in some puddles. My message is simple: Don’t wait to start enjoying your life. Don’t wait for the job or the bloke or the house or the bank account of your dreams. Start now. Right now. Enjoy it before it’s too damn late.

“Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.” Helen Keller

- Something To Play With -

Complete the following sentence “I will be happy when…” as many times as you can. Now throw that piece of paper away, get a new piece of paper and write in big red letters “I can and will be happy RIGHT NOW!” Then go do something that makes you happy. If you develop the ability to be happy even when life isn’t perfect, you will have a great life! Want to share how this article affects you?

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