The 3 Pillars: Rocket Fuel for Your Big Dream

The foundation of my coaching program is what I call the “3 Pillars” – self care, energy and joy. If you are cared for, full of energy and enjoying life, everything else is easier and falls more easily into place. Life flows more smoothly, creativity is easier to access, action is easier, inspiration flows through you. Everytime I have been struggling with life, either my self-care, energy or joy has been low. If I’m cared for, energised and enjoying life, bumps in the road don’t bother me as much.

Just in our normal lives, we need to be cared for, energised and enjoying life. When it comes to our Big Dreams, they demand even more from us – more energy, more time, more ‘stepping out of our comfort zone’, more growth, more connection, more life. (they also give a lot back, but that’s a different story) When you are following a Big Dream, that dream needs you to be in tip-top shape – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. If you’re not, it is harder to follow your path, and you will find yourself having to stop and refuel often.

Because I’ve had a virus in April, I had to practice Extreme Self-Care to get myself back to full fitness as quickly as possible (just going back to your normal routine as soon as you feel human again doesn’t work – I tried!). Extreme Self-Care simply means taking extremely good care of yourself – listening to your body and giving it what it needs; listening to your mind and giving it what it needs; listening to your heart and giving yourself the emotional care you need; listening to your soul and giving it what it needs to thrive. (For more about self-care, see my free ebook on the subject)

Energy is the second piece in the puzzle. Once you have your self-care sorted, you then need to energise yourself. Refuel, as it were. Without energy, how can you achieve your Big Dream? Without energy, how can you give your all to something that is outside your comfort zone? When you’ve got lots of energy (think Tigger!), you can bounce your way through and do everything you will need to do for your Big Dream. Many clients think this ’3 Pillars’ work is optional at first…until they notice the obvious link between lack of self-care, energy and joy and struggle in any area of life.

The last piece in the puzzle is JOY! Although it is the final piece, it is just as important as the other 2. And I have found over the years that clients will realise the importance of self-care and energy fairly quickly…but this joy piece takes more time to accept! Which does amuse me, because in my view, enjoying life is why we’re here! We’re having this life experience in order to experience the joys that can be found (even the joys in sorrow). Living a life filled with small joys is a beautiful experience. And for your Big Dream, it is Rocket Fuel! Imagine yourself as joyous – imagine how much you can get done in that energy of joy, imagine dancing through all the tasks you need to do to accomplish your Big Dream. Imagine being happy not because you’ve achieved your Dream, but just because you are enjoying life on the way to the next Big Dream…and the next!

The 3 together will make your life so much easier, and your Big Dream seem so much closer that you will wonder how you ever got anything done before! Once you have these strong foundations in place, you will find it easier to fly!

Your Homework

EVERY DAY ask yourself this:
How cared for am I feeling right now on a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘not at all’ and 10 is ‘cradled in the arms of love’. If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something to make yourself feel more cared for – do something that nourishes you.

If it is a 7 or more, ask yourself this:
How energetic am I feeling right now on a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘no energy’ and 10 is ‘I feel like Tigger, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy!’ If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something to raise your energy – do something fun, get out in nature, do something you love that raises your energy.

If it is a 7 or more, ask yourself this:
How much am I enjoying life right now a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘I’m not’ and 10 is ‘I am totally in love with my life’. If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something fun, something you enjoy – this is your life. ENJOY it!

When all 3 are a 7 or above, then you will naturally get moving on your big dreams because you feel good, you have mental clarity, you are enjoying life, you have energy. Make feeling good a habit, and see yourself get more productive and efficient (as well as happier, healthier, more energetic!).

To push this even further – when you regularly get to a 7 in all areas, try for an 8 every day, then a 9 when that gets ‘easy’, then a perfect 10 when 9′s are ‘easy’.

I would love to hear how you get on with this challenge – simply reply to this e-mail to tell me about your thoughts, your experience, your self-care, your energy and your joy!

This article was taken from May’s Dreams to Reality newsletter – to sign up, click here.

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Ask Donna: A New Dream is Calling

Q: I had a Big Dream I’ve been working towards for years…and now I have that Dream, I find another Big Dream is lurking under the surface. The trouble is that the new Big Dream is totally different and I will need to let go of a lot of the things I’ve worked so hard for. I feel so frustrated – I thought I’d be happy when I got this, but instead I’m now hankering after another challenge. What is wrong with me? – Sarah

Rather than be happy ‘when…’, work to be happy now – whatever your circumstances. Who you are, what you like, what you want changes as you age, and if you rely on any outside circumstance to be happy, when you change or the circumstance changes, that will affect your happiness. One way to do this is work on your self-care, energy and joy on a daily basis – when you’re cared for, energised and enjoying life (whatever the circumstance), the changes are easier to navigate.

When you change your dreams, you don’t lose everything – all the skills you have learned stay with you, the courage, the growth, the confidence stay with you. Your inner wisdom will tell you what you need to do now, and how to let go of the old and welcome in the new. To read more about this March daily practice, click this link http://www.donnaonthebeach.com/blog/2012/03/march-daily-practice-trust-yourself/.

To ask your question, simply comment below or use the contact page.

Love

Donna.x

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Striving For Perfection

Are you striving to be ‘perfect’? Do you insist that you never ever make a mistake, get something wrong, cock up? Will you accept nothing less than perfection from yourself?

High expectations are all well and good, but not when they come at the expense of your peace of mind, your love of yourself, your joy in life. Most of us are much harder on ourselves than we would ever be on someone else, and by having absurdly high standards, we can really make our lives miserable.

By all means be the best you can be…but get there by having fun, by enjoying the journey, by striving for joy and laughter, by being kind and supportive and loving to yourself. You might be astonished to find that you are more likely to meet your high expecations if you apply some encouragement, joy, support and laughter to your life. And hey, even if you don’t, you’ll be having fun!

I doubt that you will get to the end of your life and say “I wish I had been even harder on myself and made my life more of a misery”. No, you are much more likely to say “Why was I worried about never failing – I wish I’d been more laid back, had more fun, laughed more”. Why not pre-empt that life-end statement and get on with the serious business of being laid back, having fun, and laughing a LOT?

Love

Donna.x

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Podcast: What if I Can’t Have My Big Dream?

Do you avoid following your Big Dream because you’re afraid of failure or disappointment? Disappointment is not that bad, compared to the aliveness, joy, potential and possibility that you find when you do follow your Big Dreams. Living a life which is crushing your soul is WAY more hurtful than any disappointment. Disappointment is ok – it’s fleeting, it passes. Failure is just feedback, it’s no big deal.

To listen to this week’s podcast, click here: What if I can’t have my big dream

Homework:
Part 1: Whenever you think ‘what if I can’t have my Big Dream’, balance it out by asking yourself ‘what if I CAN have my Big Dream’.
Part 2: TAKE ACTION ANYWAY! Move your Big Dream forward this week anyway, despite not knowing what’s going to happen!

You can also subscribe to this podcast on itunes here.

May all your dreams become reality.

Love

Donna.x

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Flow Like Water

When was the last time you saw water trying to run uphill? When did you last see water ignoring the easy channel of using the river bed to get to the sea and trying to go in a different direction? Water always takes the path of least resistance, it flows through turbulent times and calm times, it inexorably continues its journey and doesn’t take offence when the ground disappears beneath it – it just falls and moves on. An obstacle appears, and water finds a way round it, through it, over it, under it.

Do you flow like water? Or do you try to move against the current, against the energy? Or do you find the flow of life, and relax into it. Do you meet obstacles with despair or a sense of purpose, knowing that you will prevail and find a way. Do you panic when the ground goes from beneath your feet, or do you fall and carry on? Water does it all so effortlessly, so easily. And you can too. Learn to find the flow in life – here’s a top tip, if something feels difficult, you’re probably trying to flow uphill so stop a moment and look for where the ease is, where the energy is calling you, what is in front of you to be done.

Relax, enjoy the journey, go with the flow, have fun in turbulent waters and in calm waters, knowing that both will take you where you’re going…and the turbulent times might just get you there faster, even if you are a bit battered when you get there! When you meet an obstacle, know that you are unstoppable. Like water, you will find a way – over, under, round or through. Find your flow and let it be that easy.

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – What Do You Serve?

I was at a workshop a couple of years ago talking to some truly amazing people about what they were ‘in service of’, and I got a jolt (like a bolt of lightning) of realisation that if these people didn’t serve this world, it would be a tragedy. And I know that this realisation was not just for the 10 people sitting in that workshop, but for every single person on this planet. Including you.

I know that you have something truly amazing to give, that you are passionate about something that you see every day in your life, that you really would love to do something to ‘sort it out’…and I know that sometimes ‘life’ gets in the way! Another thing I know is that it does not have to be this way. There are ways to ‘serve’ this world without sacking your job and haring off to work in poverty stricken areas.

(Although if you really want to do that…what is stopping you?!)

You have so much talent, so much to give that it breaks my heart to see so many of you not using it. Especially when it could be so easy! Truly, it can be very easy. Nothing drastic needs to happen. All you need is imagination, willingness, and a cause. For example, if it drives you wild to see people being miserable, you could make it your mission to bring cheer to the world.

You can even use your current job to serve – my favourite example of this a story I heard of an accountant who is driven by the desire to make the world a more peaceful place…so he helps people get ‘at peace’ with their finances. If an accountant can do it, why not you? How could you turn your current place of work into your ministry?

This is too important for you to just read, nod and forget. I want you to remember that you have something incredible that you are here to accomplish. And you know it. You might not know what it is, you might be afraid of it and you might even think ‘I can’t’. You can. You must. This world needs you to step up. I once didn’t know – I found out. I am scared – that’s okay, I can still serve. I sometimes think ‘I can’t’, and then I remember. I can.

Each one of us is just one part of a much bigger picture. You might be here to serve peace or joy or love or passion or a million other things…and you know what? There are others who are serving the same thing. You are not alone in this. But you, too, are needed to do your corner of the tapestry of life. If we all started working together, imagine what could be achieved? This world needs you to step up.

Something to play with
Start thinking about what you are here to serve. What do you hate to see in the world? What makes you think ‘NO! that must stop’? If you had all the money in the world, what would you ‘fix’? Figure out how you can start serving now, today.

And if you are really interested in exploring this – the February Special Offer is still available…but just for another 2 days! So be quick, get in touch and let me help you step up and serve in the way you are destined to.

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Revealing Your Natural Radiance

Imagine this: a person radiating warmth, effervescence, joy, delight. A person glittering, incandescently shining with brilliance. A sparkling example of the stunning beauty of the human soul. Now imagine your face on that radiant body. For some of you, that might be exactly how you appear to the world on a normal day. For most of us, incandescence is something we save for special occasions, good days, in my case, summer!

But that inner radiance doesn’t go away just because we are moping about the lack of sunlight, cold, rain and bitter winds. It just gets covered up by a few layers. Perhaps one of those layers is the fact that you don’t realise your inner radiance. I’m here to tell you that we ALL have an inner radiance. We are all bursting with effervescence. Sadly from the time we are very small, many of us have that brilliance criticised – for being too giggly, disruptive, or chattering too much.

Then as life goes on, we try to extinguish our own light by being less than supportive to ourselves, getting stressed and not taking care of ourselves. The good news is that it is impossible to extinguish that inner radiance, but you may need to take off some metaphorical layers to reveal it. Yes, I said metaphorical – running around in the buff is not what I mean by revealing your natural radiance.

Can you imagine if your friends and family all took off those metaphorical layers to reveal their brilliance? You will have seen them shining, joyful, sparkling at some point in their lives, but perhaps they are not now? What a difference it would make to our world if we were surrounded by people who radiated their inner beauty on a regular basis – what a beautiful thing that would be.

It starts with you. It starts with you recognising your brilliance…even if you only see a tiny bit of the wonder of you, that’s a start. And it continues with you opening up to shine, and knowing that in doing so, your friends and family will bask in the warmth of your radiance. They will be encouraged to shine, because you shine. The darkness in your world can be lit by your light and your love – will you rise to the challenge and reveal your natural radiance?

Something to play with
How radiant are you feeling on a scale of 1-10? What could you do to increase that level of radiance by 1 point in the next week? Do it.

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

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Ask Donna: Exhausted and Discouraged

Question: I am following my big dream and it’s been really hard work. I feel exhausted and discouraged, and worst of all I don’t feel I can talk about this as everyone keeps telling me to ‘be positive’ or give up. Maria

People who are not following their big dreams sometimes don’t understand those of us who are. Ask for the support you need from your friends – be really clear with them about how they can help you. Take a break from your big dream – when you are exhausted, the best thing you can do is relax and take a couple of days off from working on your big dream so you can replenish yourself and come back clear headed and chilled out.

Here’s the link to the podcast about the 3 Pillars: http://www.donnaonthebeach.com/blog/2012/01/dreams-to-reality-podcast-the-3-pillars/ – the 3 Pillars are self-care, energy and joy. If you’re not feeling cared for, you will feel exhausted and discouraged just because your self-care is low. If your energy is low, you have less to give your big dream. If you are not enjoying life…well, that sucks!

If you have a question, leave a comment below this post.

Love

Donna.x

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Dreams To Reality Podcast: The 3 Pillars

The 3 Pillars: Self Care, energy and joy. These 3 things are the foundation of a successful life – if you feel uncared for, depleted and you’re not enjoying life, life is so much harder! And if you want to make your big dream a reality, you need to be cared for, full of energy and enjoying your life.

To listen to this week’s podcast, click here: The 3 Pillars

Homework:
EVERY DAY ask your HEART this:
How cared for am I feeling right now on a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘not at all’ and 10 is ‘cradled in the arms of love’. If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something to make yourself feel more cared for – do something that nourishes you.
How energetic am I feeling right now on a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘no energy’ and 10 is ‘I feel like Tigger, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy!’ If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something to raise your energy – do something fun, get out in nature, do something you love that raises your energy.
How much am I enjoying life right now a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘I’m not’ and 10 is ‘I am totally in love with my life’. If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something fun, something you enjoy – this is your life. ENJOY it!

You can also subscribe to this podcast on itunes here.

May all your dreams become reality.

Love

Donna.x

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What Is Your Deepest Wish

It’s Wishcasting Wednesday. There is power in wishing – putting your wishes out there sets mighty forces into action…

What Is Your Deepest Wish?

My deepest wish is that I am able to express my gifts in the most fulfilling and powerful way possible every day – my gifts of joy, laughter, life, friendship, love, passion as well as my ‘saleable’ gifts of writing, coaching, mentoring, inspiring, believing. My deepest wish is that I am able to live full out in every aspect of my life, never fearing to be fully who I am, never fearing that my needs will not be met as I do so, never worrying about money, never worrying about ‘success’, just enjoying being completely in love with my life, fulfilling my purpose, following my passion and having fun!

Get involved on Jamie’s blog, or leave a comment here about YOUR deepest wish. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you also.

Love

Donna.x

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