Reflect Upon Your Blessings

…Reflect upon your blessings, of which every man has plenty, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some… – Charles Dickens

Do you spend more time reflecting on what a shame it is for you that you don’t have this or that, or on how lucky you are to have plentiful, running water; to have enough food to live; to have so many possessions you desperately need to clear clutter; to have access to any kind of education at all; to be able to express your opinion without being in fear of your life; for the air you breathe; for the sunshine; for spring flowers?

I could go on forever. Of course life is not perfect, but it’s a heck of a lot better than we sometimes give it credit for! It is easy to focus on the ‘what is missing’ from life, and sometimes it can be helpful – when you can see what’s missing, you can sort it out. But when it becomes an endless litany of why your life sucks, that’s no fun! (and doesn’t help you change anything) For today at least, take your attention off the misfortune in your life and reflect more on your blessings, and Happy Dance because your life is so filled with fortune!

Love

Donna.x

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Stop Looking At What You Ain’t Got

I had a vague thought in the back of my mind to write something about thankfulness and gratitude today, as it’s Thanksgiving in the States. Even though we don’t have that celebration here, I feel like I do…because I read lots of newsletters and blogs from folks in the states! So I’m absorbing Thanksgiving by osmosis. I also think it’s a cool idea for a day – “eat loads of food and say thank you for stuff” as one of my American friends describes it. Sounds like my kind of day!

Anyway, on the radio today T.I featuring Rhianna “Live your Life” has been playing, which starts “Stop looking at what you ain’t got and start being thankful for what you do got.” Which gives me the perfect message really doesn’t it? Especially in tough times, it’s a really great practice to stop complaining about what we don’t have, and be thankful for what we do have. It reminds me of a Lenny Henry sketch in which he talks about a tribe who greet one another with ‘how are you? And your wife and family? And your goat?’ – and that’s it because that’s all they have.

Imagine if someone were to greet you with ‘How are you? And your husband and family? And your car? And your wardrobe full of clothes? And your 25 pairs of shoes? And your widescreen television? And your electric power shower? And your tinted moisturiser? And your laptop? And your 200 CD’s? And your fridge with it’s own ice-maker? And your 43 saucepans? And…’ You’d be there for HOURS! Days, even.

So for today, even if you’re not in a place that celebrates Thanksgiving, give thanks anyway for all that you have – not just the material possessions, but the love and friendship and joy that surrounds you. And I want to thank you for reading, and for giving me an audience to play to!

Love

Donna.x

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Don’t Curse the Dark, Light a Lamp

Today while working on my daily October practice of Laughter, I came across a video from Dr Madan Kataria, the founder of Laughter Yoga, in which he talked about the ancient Indian wisdom which says ‘don’t curse the dark, light a lamp’. Most of us have a tendency to curse the dark, to complain about our lives, to see only what is missing in our life, to see only what is bad in the world. Our media compound this on a daily basis by behaving like Chicken Little and insisting the sky is going to fall in. (it never does)

We curse and rail against the dark…but for most of us, what we yearn for is light. We ache to be joyful, to fall deeply in love with our lives, to dance through life with a carefree heart and a smile on our face. But guess what? Cursing the dark is not the way to get that. Complaining about life does not help our life improve (identifying where improvements can be made is good, constantly going on about the problems is not). Finding people to blame for why the world is going to hell in a handbasket doesn’t help us to feel good, to be joyous, to be full of gratitude and appreciation for the wonder and beauty of life.

Looking for the light, the beautiful, the wonderful, the good, the joyous, the fabulous, the happiness in life DOES help us to enjoy life. How do you light a lamp in your life? Laughter, exercise, fresh air, doing things you love to do, taking care of yourself, focusing on the positive, gratitude, fun, inspiration, dancing, singing, getting in touch with our inner wisdom, working towards our most exciting ambitions and goals, hanging out with ‘light’ people, being silly, recapturing our childlike enthusiasm for life…and there are so much more.

When you next find yourself cursing the dark, remember to just light a lamp. Just a small spark of light can take away the dark…

Love

Donna.x

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Gratitude and Generosity

This month, my ebook distributor smashwords is having a 50% off sale – and my ebook “110 Ways to Heal Your Money” is part of that summer sale – you can get it this month only for $4.99 (approximately £3). Half price! To buy it click here. And to help you decide if this purchase is for you, here is an excerpt from the ebook about gratitude and generosity. For more excerpts, click here.

- Banish Money Misery Excerpt – Gratitude and Generosity -

Most teachers of abundance advocate the use of gratitude and generosity to bring more money into your life. The energies of gratitude and generosity are attractive and magnetic to money. But here’s the thing…if you are being generous or grateful on the condition that you get something back, it is not going to help your financial life. Don’t think that this is some easy magical thing that you give away £2 and get £2 million back, or that because you pay lip service to gratitude you will get lots of stuff in return.

And I have seen both attitudes – both in the mirror in myself and in other people who are working to improve their financial lives. Both unconditional generosity and unconditional gratefulness will make you feel more abundant, which will ultimately help to bring more to you. But if you do it from the perspective that you give in order to get, that is not unconditional, and is more likely to bring you more stress.

So let’s forget for a minute the idea that gratitude and generosity will bring something to you sometime in the future and concentrate on the immediate benefit. Feeling truly grateful is a beautiful feeling – remember the last time someone did something really lovely for you, and how good it felt to appreciate that? That is the feeling you are reaching for – that heart-expanding beautiful feeling of thanks-giving.

Generosity is similarly a beautiful feeling – when you give with a generous, open heart, not with a sense of obligation. You will know the difference between giving begrudgingly and giving with an open heart. Being generous (whether with your time, your money, your expertise, your friendship) feels wonderful, whereas giving begrudgingly feels like a chore, like you are being forced into it. To be able to treat your friends and family is a lovely place to be in. To be able to give to a charity is a wonderful thing. And to be able to treat yourself with generosity is the most beautiful of all.

- Something to Play With -

For the next month, every day find 5 things to be truly grateful for. Remember to get the feeling of gratitude – don’t just go through the motions. If you want to intensify the experience, add a ‘because’ – e.g. I am grateful for my lovely car because it is reliable, comfortable and allows me a freedom I would not otherwise enjoy. As this ebook is about money, find at least one thing to be grateful for in your financial life. Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave a comment below. Or pop over to my facebook page and leave a comment there.

Buy the ebook here.

Love

Donna.x

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Happy Independence Day!

Isn’t it a wonderful idea to celebrate independence? (Which by the way, I always want to spell indepeDANCE! Like a happy dance, but for freedom. Anyway.) I love the idea of a day off to celebrate being in charge of your own destiny. To my friends and followers in the US, well done you for having such a brilliant reason for a holiday. And to all of us, whether your country is having an Independence Day or not, let’s take this opportunity to celebrate OUR independence. To celebrate our freedom. To celebrate being in charge of our own destiny, master of our own universe.

We have the freedom to do anything we want – we can dress as we wish, speak as we wish, vote as we wish, choose our own path in life. Do you appreciate how wonderful that is? Do you appreciate that we can speak out against tyranny, we can get an education which gives us a better chance in life, we have the freedom to move around, to work where we want to work, listen to the music we want to listen to. In every moment we have the freedom to choose – what we watch on TV, what we read, who we speak to, whether to be grumpy or happy, what to spend our money on, how to spend our time.

Sometimes it may feel like life is closing in around us and we have no choices, no freedom, no independence, but that is never true. No one can ever take away from you your brilliance, your freedom to love, your freedom to think, your freedom to be yourself. How wonderful. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to be independent, free, allowed to choose my life. Woohoo!!!! Happy Independence Day to you – may you always be free to live and love life as you choose.

With love

Donna.x

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Wallowing in Happiness

One of the things that ‘happy people’ have in common is that they wallow in happiness. They look forward to things (not just big things), they enjoy the memories of things (not just big things), they are grateful for good times they’ve had, they appreciate good things as they happen and make a big deal of them. ‘Unhappy people’ on the other hand tend to dwell on how much life sucks, wallow in the bad things that happen, and pretty much ignore the good stuff. I know this because I used to be unhappy. And now I’m generally happy.

And one of the big things that has changed is my focus. Instead of wallowing in and dwelling on the ‘bad’ stuff that happens on a day to day basis, I wallow in and dwell on ‘good’ stuff and I make a point of noticing that I am enjoying whatever it is that I am enjoying. Not all the time, I’m not perfect…but when I have a bit of a visit to negative town, I can get out pretty quickly because my habit is to focus on, pay attention to and be grateful for ‘good stuff’. And we all have ‘bad’ stuff and ‘good’ stuff happening every day. Not just the big stuff that only happens once a year/lifetime like birthdays, christmas, promotions, marriages, holidays. But little things, like the sun shining, clean washing, a tidy desk, a laugh with a friend, a stranger smiling at you, someone letting you out in traffic.

That’s why, over at my facebook page, I have started to focus even more on ‘the good stuff’ every week. Every Monday I ask “What was the best part of your weekend? And what are you looking forward to this week?” and share my thoughts. Every Wednesday I tell you one of my favourite things, and ask what one of your favourite things is. And every Friday I ask “What was the best part of your week? And what are you looking forward to this weekend?” So everybody who ‘likes’ this page will be reminded to focus on what’s good in life. It’s a small thing, but it is SO powerful. So why don’t you come and join me over at facebook.com/donnaonthebeach? And wallow in the small happinesses in life.

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – The Gift of Life

Over the past few years, the frailty and fragility of life has been brought home to me at this time of year – my uncle passed away at the end of October, the following year one of my friends lost her fight for life at the end of November. And with Christmas and my birthday coming, I miss them more than ever. No birthday card from my friend will hit the mat, no silly texts from my uncle will arrive. As maudlin as this sounds, it also reminds me how lucky I am to be able to still breathe into these lungs, to enjoy the festive season and to moan incessantly about winter. I am very grateful that my one and only precious self is still here and still healthy.

It also makes me more aware of my own life, and how I am living it. If my life ended, would I be happy with how I had lived? Would I rue missed chances? Would I regret wasted time? Now let me just say here that I do not believe that any time is wasted – every experience helps us to grow and gives us opportunities to be more wonderful…it’s just that sometimes we take the opportunity to be grumpy instead! And as I said last week, this grumpiness gives us the opportunity to turn it around and pay attention to what we do want instead of what is pissing us off.

If life was the most precious gift you had this Christmas (or today, tomorrow and every day), would you treat it the way you currently are? Would you read the care instructions more carefully? Would you have more appreciation for your life, your body, your mind, your heart, your spirit? Do you even notice the absolute miracle that is your life? Can you imagine the chaos if a computer giant were in charge of the mechanics of the human being? You can’t switch us off and on again when we aren’t working…well, I suppose you can, but it’s not an everyday solution!

Imagine – you breathe, think, your heart pumps, you digest food and process waste all without thinking! Imagine the mechanics of something as simple as picking up a pen – and we do it all without thought. It is utterly miraculous. We are utterly miraculous. YOU are utterly miraculous. There is no one else like you in the world. No one else who will have the experiences, thoughts and feelings that you have. And you do all this without much tlc I suspect. Many of us take better care of our belongings than we do our bodies. Our cars are serviced more regularly than we are. It’s not just a question of eating well, drinking water, exercising, all that usual stuff. It’s also about filling your life with joy, filling your heart with love, filling your mind with the idea that life is fun!

Imagine if you had a little tag sticking out of your sides, like your t-shirts have. Care instructions. What would yours say? Mine would say ‘feed nice food, water liberally, exercise daily, make laugh hourly, sleep for 8 hours, surround with lovely people, treat with love and respect and tell her she’s fabulous every time you pass a mirror, make feeling good top priority’. Lol. You are so lucky to be you, with your gifts and talents, with your unique perspective, with your possibilities and potential. With your life. Do you appreciate that gift?

- Something to Play With -

What would your care label say? What would someone need to do to take the very best care of you? Leave me a comment below and let me know!

Love

Donna.x

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When Life Seems Jolly Rotten…

…there’s something you’ve forgotten. And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing. (good old Monty Python)

When any situation in your life seems ‘bad’, what are you looking at? The cost, in time, money, energy? All the reasons that this is ‘bad’? What if you were to actively seek the blessings in any situation? Think of a situation you are seeing as ‘bad’. Now think of 10 blessings in this situation.

One of the most inspiring stories I ever heard was of a woman who lost her job, her husband, and discovered she had cancer, all in the space of a week! Her reaction? “I will have plenty of time to focus on getting well, and there will be no dirty socks to pick up!”

There is a bright side if you will only look for it.

Love

Donna.x

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Giving Thanks

Today is Thanksgiving holiday in the US. Now this is a holiday I like! It’s all about good food and appreciation. What a great reason for a day off. Although we don’t celebrate it here in the UK, it’s a good reminder to appreciate what you have. All to often we go through life just focusing on what is missing.

So today, Happy Thanksgiving to you guys in the US, and congratulations on having a fabulous holiday about appreciation. I salute you! And for the rest of us, let’s take a few minutes today to count our blessings. We have so much to be thankful for. And I would like to thank YOU for reading, for commenting, for being the reason that I write blogs. I appreciate your presence on my blog more than you will ever know. Thank you.

Love

Donna.x

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Bills, Beautiful Bills

An excerpt from “110 Ways to Heal Your Money” by Donna Higton

When you see bills, how do you feel? Do you feel great that you can pay them, and that somebody trusts you enough to bill you, knowing that you will pay them? Or do you feel anxious, fearful, stressed, shocked? Many of us complain bitterly and endlessly about our bills. We dread seeing them, we ‘rob Peter to pay Paul’, we wait as long as possible to pay them, and we stress about them and generally feel bad about bills.

Bills are a fact of life, unless you live on a commune, and it is a terrible shame if we allow something that will always happen to get us down. A few years ago when I went self-employed, I would panic and stress whenever I saw a bill – I hated bills. Now, I see a bill, I pay it as soon as I can (usually the same day I receive it), I am grateful than I can pay it and I do it with ease. The difference in experience is profound and wonderful.

Often we think the only answer to the misery of bills is ‘more money’ but I am talking here PURELY of a change of attitude. It is amazing how much a change of attitude and perspective will change your experience. Picture it: you have in your hands all your bills. Instead of your usual reaction, you are happy to see the bills, know that you can easily pay them and are grateful to have the goods and services they represent. When my friend Claire gets her mortgage bill, she points to the bricks on the wall and says “paid for that one and that one and that one over there”.

What difference would this make to your life, your happiness, your energy if this was your regular experience with bills instead of the usual worry, stress and fear? If you can usually pay your bills, this scenario is well within your grasp. Even if you struggle to pay them, this is a possibility for you…I know, I did it without significantly changing my income.

Do you ever stop to appreciate the ease with which you pay your bills? (Once you’ve stopped bitching about them!) Maybe you are too used to seeing your money go out hand over fist, or have got into the habit of making bill-paying a difficult, grudging process. Remember why you are paying those bills, the services and goods that you’ve received, and remember to appreciate that you can pay them.

To find out more about this downloadable ebook, click here.

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