Find The Gift

When life throws you lemons, make lemonade (or tequila slammers, depending on your preference!). It’s an old cliche, but a good ‘un! Sometimes life throws stuff at you that sucks, situations that are painful, people who are prats (!), shocks and awful news. That’s life. Last week I talked about playing the best you can with the hand you’re dealt. But there is more you can do. You can actively seek the gift in the rubbish hand! Sticking with the card metaphor for a moment, a bad hand induces you to get much better at the game so you can still win! Getting great cards every time will not improve your skill, it’ll just be easier.

Not that one state is better than another. Great hand – cool! Shite hand – fabulous, I get to play better and winning will mean WAY more. Let’s take it to real life for a second. As you know, I have been given a diagnosis on my health that I’m not overly impressed with. This has already brought me gifts. I have reconnected with some old friends I’d lost touch with. I have found that some friends are FABULOUS at dealing with this kind of thing…and the friendship is stronger for it. I am actively seeking ways to improve my energy and my health, and I’ve already noticed I’m less keen to eat empty sugary things (most unlike me!).

I have been given gifts, including chocolate (my favourite) and several programs from one of my mentors/teachers Carole Dore – this package had me beaming from ear to ear with joy and I am already feeling the benefits of the first 2 products I’ve used. I have been gentler with myself. I have been more aware of my energy, how I feel, and I’ve been following that energy. I’ve received ideas, telephone numbers, potentially helpful information. Wow. Looking at it like that, I’ve already received so much…and I only found out 2 weeks ago. Just imagine what other good stuff could come my way?!

Just imagine for a moment, that this diagnosis is FOR me. That it is something that will lead to good stuff. It is said that often your greatest pain can be your greatest teacher AND your greatest gift. Now of course, I’d rather just take the easy life, thanks…but that’s not an option. Imagine for a moment that my life will get better as a result of my diagnosis. Just like it did when I had throat infections – made me give up smoking which made me feel lots better, not just getting rid of the throat infection. Just as it did when my liver stopped processing booze – which made me drastically cut down on drink (from probably an average of 10 units a day to an average of 1 a week!). Not only was I less often hungover, I had more energy, I was less depressed (didn’t realise drink made me down until I stopped), I felt clearer and happier, and my social life is better. And I spend less!

Now let’s imagine that something that you are not happy about is also a gift to you. It’s something that will ultimately make your life better. Start looking for the gifts. It is usually much easier to see this stuff in hindsight, but if you can detach a little from the pain/discomfort/upset/anger and look for the gift, you can move through the situation more easily. You will be less rocked by the inevitable lemons, and much better able to cheerfully say “lemonade?” when someone asks what you’re doing with your horrid situation.

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Seeking the Gift

So, as you will know if you’ve been following this blog closely (and the website worked when you came to read it!), you will know that a couple of weeks ago I had technical issues. And then last week I had a few more technical issues which resulted in me not being able to blog at all for the whole week. Pah.

But of course, it got me thinking. As I said last time I talked of this, shit happens…and there is usually a diamond somewhere in the shit-heap! The first step is to not let it discombobulate us (I’ve always wanted to use that word in a blog!). The next step is to look for the gift. If you look hard enough, you may even find several gifts.

For example, I can focus on the inconvenience of not being able to blog, or I can focus on the fact that I had a week off writing (yes, it would have been nice if I’d got ahead of myself, but that was never going to happen!), the fact that I had time to focus on some ‘offline’ stuff I’ve been neglecting, the fact that I had a good reminder to put some ‘plan b’s in place for times of technological meltdown!

And I’m certain that more good stuff will come from it. I’m noticing as I am writing this that I am enjoying it more than I had been, so it has reminded me how much I love to write this blog. All good. So what is going wrong in your life right now, and what is the gift in that ‘wrongness’?

Love

Donna.x
PS This is the last week for the 20% off discount, so if coaching is in your mind, this is the time to go for it! For more information, click here.

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Video: Looking for the Gift

Your worst fear might turn out to be the biggest gift you could ever have. Play with your perspective, and find a new (more fun) way of seeing the world. What if there was opportunity in every difficulty? What if your best life is waiting just on the other side of a scary decision? What if everything that is happening right now is FOR you, not against you?

http://www.donnaonthebeach.com

Check out more videos on my YouTube channel.

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Share Your Gift

We all have gifts that we can share with the world, and one of the greatest tragedies is that we don’t. We keep ourselves small, we are self-deprecating and lack 100% self belief – and the world loses. You think I’m exaggerating? Well, let’s forget about this ‘just’ being about you for a minute, and think of everyone you know. How many of them are sharing their gifts with the world? Now think about the people that you don’t know, and the impact of all these people not sharing their gifts…trust me, the world loses.

The world is a slightly less shiny happy place without your gifts…and without the gifts of hundreds of thousands of people, well you can see the darkness creeping in. We all have many gifts, and our ability to share them is often blocked because we can’t see how wonderful we are! The good news is that you don’t necessarily need to realise how amazing you are when you begin.

Most of the authors, coaches, leaders that I admire still don’t appreciate just how fantastic they are, and when they started, for many of them their biggest challenge was to overcome their lack of self belief! Are you really so different from them? I love getting compliments from readers and clients – but what I know that they don’t always is that they are just as capable as me of sharing their gifts with the world. No one person is ‘better than’ another – we are all fabulous, some of us just don’t realise it yet!

So how do you find your gifts, if you have no idea how talented and amazing you are? Start looking for things that you enjoy doing, things that other people seek you out for, things that you do without really thinking. You may be a fabulous listener, a good ‘solutions’ person, very positive, very funny, good at telling jokes, good at practical things, good at fixing things, good with kids, a terrific flirt Start small – start with day to day, “little things” that make a big difference – think of the little things others do that make you feel good – a smile, a kind word, a silly joke – each of these things is a gift.

Look beyond ‘nothing’ to find your gifts – trust me, you have MANY. How do I know that you are not the only person in the world that has no gift? Because I know that no one on this planet is devoid of gifts. I know that within each and every one of us is a shining bundle of magnificence just bursting to get out! And I know that until you can find your gifts and let them out into the world, you will always feel that you could do more, be more. And you can!

Something to play with
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is twofold. Number one, find something you are good at, and share it. Number two, find something that someone else is good at, and tell them that they are wonderful. If this twofold mission feels good, rinse and repeat.

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

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