A Friday Funny

In the spirit of the October Daily Practice of Laughter, I’ve been looking for old amusing things from the archives of my blog…and I found this little gem from August last year! Enjoy…

In Bill Ford‘s coaching newsletter this week:

One of my wife’s colleagues when she was working in the US was asked by a client in France to rush over to present at a meeting the next day. He got on a plane the same day and did not have time to pack. It was winter.

He got to the hotel in Paris with enough time to sleep. His suit was creased from the flight, so he turned on the shower and hung it in the bathroom to let the steam reduce the creases. He fell asleep. By the time he woke up the suit was sodden. So he hung it out on his balcony. He fell asleep again.

By the time he woke up, the suit was frozen. He had no choice, so he put it on and went to the meeting. As he was presenting he could tell that he was losing his audience as they seemed distracted. He asked what was going on and learned that there was steam coming off his suit. He explained what had happened, they fell about laughing, were impressed by his dedication and the MD suggested they go to lunch instead.

This made me cry with laughter and totally ruined me for doing any work until I’d sat in a corner for a bit calming down. I hope it brought you just half as much amusement. Happy Friday!

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Pet Diaries – one for Dog or Cat owners

This never fails to amuse me!

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary
* 8:00 am – Dog food! My favourite thing!
* 9:30 am – A car ride! My favourite thing!
* 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
* 10:30 am – Got stroked and petted! My favourite thing!
* 12:00 pm – Lunch! My favourite thing!
* 1:00 pm – Played in the garden! My favourite thing!
* 3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
* 5:00 pm – Chewed on a bone! My favourite thing!
* 7:00 pm – Got to play fetch! My favourite thing!
* 8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
* 11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped it’s headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.
Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

Happy Friday!

Love

Donna. x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

A Bit of Friday Fun

This video made me cry laughing last week so I thought I’d share it with you!

Happy Friday!

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

A Bit of Monday Fun: Random Thoughts

I saw this over the weekend and it made me laugh a lot so thought I’d share it with you:

Today’s Random Thoughts (not mine, but funny just the same!)

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this — EVER!!!

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day, “Mom, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. And finally…Have you ever wondered if that dollar-bill you’re holding has ever been in a stripper’s butt crack? You are now…

Really want to keep number 20 out of my head! But it made me laugh!

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.