A Friday Funny

In the spirit of the October Daily Practice of Laughter, I’ve been looking for old amusing things from the archives of my blog…and I found this little gem from August last year! Enjoy…

In Bill Ford‘s coaching newsletter this week:

One of my wife’s colleagues when she was working in the US was asked by a client in France to rush over to present at a meeting the next day. He got on a plane the same day and did not have time to pack. It was winter.

He got to the hotel in Paris with enough time to sleep. His suit was creased from the flight, so he turned on the shower and hung it in the bathroom to let the steam reduce the creases. He fell asleep. By the time he woke up the suit was sodden. So he hung it out on his balcony. He fell asleep again.

By the time he woke up, the suit was frozen. He had no choice, so he put it on and went to the meeting. As he was presenting he could tell that he was losing his audience as they seemed distracted. He asked what was going on and learned that there was steam coming off his suit. He explained what had happened, they fell about laughing, were impressed by his dedication and the MD suggested they go to lunch instead.

This made me cry with laughter and totally ruined me for doing any work until I’d sat in a corner for a bit calming down. I hope it brought you just half as much amusement. Happy Friday!

Love

Donna.x

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Friday Fun – Gis a Push

In honour of the October Daily Practice, here’s my favourite joke:

A man and his wife were awakened at 3 o’clock in the mnorning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
“Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.
“Who was that?” asked his wife.
“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers.
“Did you help him?” she asks.
“No, I did not, it is 3 o’clock in the morning and it is pouring with rain out there!”
“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!”
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”
“Yes,” comes back the answer.
“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.
“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“Where are you?” asks the husband.
“Over here on the swing,” replied the drunk

Utter GENIUS!

Happy Friday!

Love

Donna.x

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October Daily Practice: Laugh!

Did you join me last month for the September Daily Practice – feeling good? It was a good practice huh? So, this month I decided to continue in a ‘good feeling’ vein with LAUGHTER. Yep, the daily practice this month is laugh. Laugh, every day, every time you get a chance, and make a big effort to laugh lots! Join me over on my facebook page for a daily reminder to laugh, links to some funny stuff and resources to help you get laughing!

Remember when you were a young child, and everything would set you off laughing? Well, I want you to get some of that glee, merriment and hilarity back into your life in October (and if it’s fun, maybe beyond October too!). So, are you with me? Here’s what you do: Make a committment to yourself to LAUGH. Daily, often, easily. Come and join my facebook page, have a think about what and who makes you laugh and make the decision to spend time with funny stuff! And enjoy it!

Love, and laugh!

Donna.x

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Pet Diaries – one for Dog or Cat owners

This never fails to amuse me!

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary
* 8:00 am – Dog food! My favourite thing!
* 9:30 am – A car ride! My favourite thing!
* 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
* 10:30 am – Got stroked and petted! My favourite thing!
* 12:00 pm – Lunch! My favourite thing!
* 1:00 pm – Played in the garden! My favourite thing!
* 3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
* 5:00 pm – Chewed on a bone! My favourite thing!
* 7:00 pm – Got to play fetch! My favourite thing!
* 8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
* 11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped it’s headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.
Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

Happy Friday!

Love

Donna. x

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OnTheBeach – A Few of My Favourite Things

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…a few of Maria’s favourite things. Do you remember this song from the Sound of Music? “I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don’t feel so bad” – is not just a lyric from a song, it’s great advice. Your favourite things put a little spark of joy in your heart. They make you feel better when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when you are feeling sad.

Over on facebook (and sometimes twitter if it’s in less than 140 characters), I often share one of my favourite things – a shopping trolley without a wobbly wheel, music turned up loud, an empty road to drive on, sunsets, sunshine, a novel to read, a movie, being snuggled up in bed while the wind howls, laughing, blowing bubbles, the sea, stars, my dog Mollie, being with friends, paprika pringles, orange matchmakers, drumstick lollies…the list goes on.

Why do I share these things? And why do I ask what your favourite things are? Because it FEELS GOOD! Remember the September Daily Practice: Feeling Good? It feels good to think about your favourite things. It feels good to talk about your favourite things. I have a book by Cecilia Ahern called ‘If You Could See Me Now’ (one of my favourite books!) which has an imaginary friend in it who often says ‘ooh, that’s my favourite’…about pretty much everything! Do you remember being that in touch with the things you loved to do?

Most kids have this connection – most kids (and dogs) have a hundred ‘favourite’ things. And most adults, sadly, lose the ability to recognise their favourite things and to take the time to enjoy them, wallow in them, get excited about them, talk about them, be enthusiastic about them. Have you lost your ‘favourite thing mojo’? Well, if you have it is time to get it back! It’s time to dust off your favourite things – identify them, do them, enjoy them and SHARE THEM! Leave me a comment and tell me some of your favourite things! Go on, it feels good!

Love

Donna.x

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You Say “You’re a Flake” Like it’s a Bad Thing

One of my friends was telling me recently that I am ‘such a flake’ – it wasn’t meant as a compliment apparently! Is that anything like you? You get really super enthused about an idea, follow it a little, then get bored/find out it’s not for you/lose interest. Ten minutes later you have another marvelous idea which follows the same pattern. Another hare-brained scheme. Another uncompleted idea. Another “failure”.

And this is a problem why? If it was not for creative, entreprenurial, mercurial, tenacious, stubborn, flighty, flaky people, we would all still be sitting in the dark on a stone floor with no entertainment. Yes, yes, the ability to follow an idea through to completion is good, and if you are one of those lucky folk who knows from the age of 15 what you wish to do with the next 80 years of your life, good for you.

But for the rest of us, being flaky is no bad thing. It is fun. It means that we become very courageous – always trying new things. It builds our confidence. It leads us down paths that many people who stay on the signposted path fail to find. It brings us joy. It makes us interesting. It opens our minds. It broadens our horizons. It potentially brings us to our ‘one path’ (not that I believe in that, but that’s another blog for another day!).

Most great inventors will have had friends and family who poo-poo’d their ideas, told them they were wasting their time and should get ‘a proper job’ and stop trying to invent nuts-o things like light bulbs and tv and blogs. Thankfully they didn’t listen. And nor shall I! My friend, I love you and I really don’t care that you think I’m a flake – I just want you to realise that it is a GOOD thing!

Love

Donna.x
PS this week is your last chance to take advantage of the September Special Offer

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Call On Your Inner Actor

Last night I went to see Macbeth at the Royal Shakespeare theatre in Stratford. As ever, the actors are incredibly convincing – you can feel their joy, their pain, and their madness. This morning I woke up a little tired, and as so often when tired, I fell into the well worn groove of the character in me that is impatient, wants life to happen faster, better, bigger, sooner, NOW! I play this character well because of how often I have played that part. And then it struck me. Just as the Shakespearian actor can ‘get into character’, so can we.

And we can ‘get out of character’ too. To be honest, impatient Donna doesn’t really help me get to where I want to be. She is not that helpful. Not only is it an uncomfortable part to play, it does not add any value to my life. No audience is paying to watch me become this character. So I decided to get into a different character – a different me, a more relaxed, positive, supportive me. My body language changed, I relaxed, I felt lots better…and from this character, I can be more creative, have more fun (and remembering our September daily practice of feeling good, I felt better!)

What characters do you easily slip into when you are tired and depleted? It could be the irritable mom, the thunder-faced boss, the negative pessimistic person, the victim (the whole world is conspiring against you), the whiner (‘it’s a bloody shame for me!’), the short-tempered person or many more. Are they characters you enjoy being? Are they characters who are helping you live with purpose, passion and joy? Are they characters who will take you all the way to fabulous? Or are they characters who are no fun to play, or to be around, and no help to your wonderful life at all?

Call on your inner actor, the thespian lurking within you and get into a different character – a feel good character, an optimisic, positive, encouraging, vibrant, joyful, fun, easy-going, relaxed, laid-back, supportive character who dances her way through life with a big smile and a cheeky wink! Instead of channeling your inner Lady Macbeth, channel your inner Tigger!

Leave me a comment to let me know what character you don’t want to play and which one you will step into instead.

Love

Donna.x

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September Practice: Feeling Good!

I heard from a friend this weekend who said she was feeling great…because she had spent 2 weeks making ‘feeling good’ her main priority. She made a real effort to make sure she was in a ‘giggly happy’ mood as much as she possibly could. I immediately decided that this was a brilliant idea and adopted it as my daily practice for September – FEELING GOOD! Do you fancy joining me?

What to do: commit to yourself that you will make it a priority to ‘feel good’ this month. For example, every day you can ask yourself: What would make this day/task more fun? What would I love to do today? What would make me feel good/better right now? Look around for something that will make you feel great. Do things you enjoy doing. Laugh a lot. Have some fun…just for one month (less than that as it’s already the 5th) make feeling good your main priority! Join me for a daily check in on facebook.

Here’s the theme tune for this month’s practice:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmwRQqJsegw

Love

Donna.x

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Choose to be Happy Anyway

Here’s a choice for you:

You have a flat tyre.

You can either be pissed off and have a flat tyre, or you can be happy and have a flat tyre.

Either way, you still have a flat tyre.

Which will you choose? If you decide to choose to be pissed off, what will you do? For example, you could complain about it, tell yourself how blasted inconvenient it is in every way, pout, cry, you could even stamp your feet.

How about if you decide to be happy? What will you do then? for example, you could look for the funny side, you could smile (or even beam), you could take the opportunity to show your skills at changing tyres, you could call a good friend to help and spend time with them laughing, you could flirt with the guy at the garage, you could experience the kindness of strangers.

Either way, you still had a flat tyre, but one is more fun, more enjoyable, and allows you to be cheerful.

By the way, this applies to other things than flat tyres.

Love

Donna.x

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Here on Earth to Fart Around

Today as I was browsing through the blog archives, searching for inspiration, I found this quote.

“I tell you, we are here on earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.” Kurt Vonnegut

I had completely forgotten this piece of wonderful wisdom! Bizarrely, farting around is seen as less important than being serious and sensible and working hard. When was the last time you farted around? Actually I’ve been doing a marvellous job of farting around today, but as a means of avoiding work rather than as a purpose of itself. Well, people, I think it’s time to reclaim our purpose in life. Fart around. As much as possible, as often as possible, and enjoy it!

Love

Donna.x

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