Ask Donna: My SMART Goals Aren’t Inspiring Me

Q: I was trying to figure what I wanted from life, and I got some ‘SMART’ goals…but they don’t feel like a Big Dream. I think a couple of them are close to being part of that Big Dream, but the energy feels all wrong and I don’t know how to change them…and they’re really not that inspiring! – Mel

I find SMART goals really boring – they have no energy, no juice to them. So, let’s talk about SMILE goals instead (something I made up!) — does your goal make you Smile? Does it have a touch of Magic about it? Is it Inspiring to you? Do you have Lots of enthusiasm for this? Does it give you Energy?

For example, a SMART goal might be “Lose 10 pounds in 3 months”… whereas an example of a SMILE goal might be “Look stunning in a beautiful frock with gorgeous shoes”.

If you have a question you’d like me to answer, please leave a comment below or contact me.

Love

Donna.x

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An Easy Decision Making Tool: Toss A Coin

How do you make a decision? Do you weigh up the options carefully, plumping for the safest, cheapest, easiest, most sensible? Do you worry endlessly about consequences and never make a decision at all? Or do you jump in and make a decision and worry about the consequences later?

For many years I have tried (and failed!) to do the first of these – and do the ‘right’ thing. The problem is, the ‘right’ thing is often the ‘wrong’ thing for me. The sensible decision is usually the one decision which will stifle my spirit, bore me to tears or keep me in a situation I hate. And I like flying by the seat of my pants – it’s far easier than all this pros and cons bull. I now toss a coin to help me decide.

For someone who has been known to be indecisive on occasion it is marvellous…and rarely wrong. The simplicity of a coin toss appeals to me because it is quick, easy and relatively uncomplicated – no evidence gathering, no researching, no discussing, just a flip and there you have it – a decision! And I don’t just mean for small decisions, like pizza or pasta? I have decided whether to buy a house, go to Australia for a year, leave my job to start my own business, and buy a car…all on the toss of a coin.

I can see some of you twitching at the very idea of this – not exactly scientific, responsible or sensible, right? Correct! I’ll tell you what it does do though, it focuses you very quickly on what YOU want. Imagine you wanted to decide whether to look for a new job, you toss a coin and it comes up tails…stay at your current job.

Your stomach sinks, you stare at the coin and think…best of 3! Then best of 5, best of 7, best of 9, best of 73. You see, I’m not suggesting you take the advice of the coin! Merely flipping the coin will give you an indication of what it is you want – in the above example, you want to leave the job. Deep down, the decision is already made but your conscious mind is getting in the way with the endless pro’s and con’s of making a decision.

By tossing a coin, you can find out very quickly what it is you really want. Many years ago I was trying to decide whether to buy a house. Every signpost pointed to yes – it was the done thing, the sensible thing, an investment blah blah blah. Even the coin toss agreed, I should go for it.

But I carried on flipping that coin for 10 minutes, wanting tails to come up. Suddenly I realised there was one overwhelmingly good reason for me not to buy a house. I didn’t want to. If I had, I would have tripled my money by now. I don’t regret it for a second. The coin was wrong, but it did tell me what I really wanted. What does the toss of a coin tell you?

- Something to Play With -

Take a decision you have been struggling with, and toss a coin…what does the coin toss tell you? (note how you feel, not if it’s heads or tails!) For the next week, try this method of decision making – get in touch with your intuitive leanings and quit wasting time endlessly weighing up the pros and cons! Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave a comment here or pop over to my facebook page and leave a comment there.

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Podcast: Extreme Self-Care and Your Big Dream

Your Big Dream requires a lot from you – a lot of your energy and time, and they demand that you are very well cared of. Extreme self-care means going the extra mile for ourselves, taking extremely good care of yourself. Taking care of yourself body, mind, heart and soul, and supporting yourself fully, 100% caring for you. You need to be in tip-top shape to be able to give your Big Dream anything outside of your normal, busy life.

To listen to this week’s podcast, click here: Extreme Self Care and Your Big Dream

Homework:
Answer this question every day: If I was taking EXTREME good care of myself today, what would I do? And do it!

To listen to the 3 pillars podcast, go to http://www.donnaonthebeach.com/blog/2012/01/dreams-to-reality-podcast-the-3-pillars/

You can also subscribe to this podcast on itunes here.

May all your dreams become reality.

Love

Donna.x

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Ask Donna: A New Dream is Calling

Q: I had a Big Dream I’ve been working towards for years…and now I have that Dream, I find another Big Dream is lurking under the surface. The trouble is that the new Big Dream is totally different and I will need to let go of a lot of the things I’ve worked so hard for. I feel so frustrated – I thought I’d be happy when I got this, but instead I’m now hankering after another challenge. What is wrong with me? – Sarah

Rather than be happy ‘when…’, work to be happy now – whatever your circumstances. Who you are, what you like, what you want changes as you age, and if you rely on any outside circumstance to be happy, when you change or the circumstance changes, that will affect your happiness. One way to do this is work on your self-care, energy and joy on a daily basis – when you’re cared for, energised and enjoying life (whatever the circumstance), the changes are easier to navigate.

When you change your dreams, you don’t lose everything – all the skills you have learned stay with you, the courage, the growth, the confidence stay with you. Your inner wisdom will tell you what you need to do now, and how to let go of the old and welcome in the new. To read more about this March daily practice, click this link http://www.donnaonthebeach.com/blog/2012/03/march-daily-practice-trust-yourself/.

To ask your question, simply comment below or use the contact page.

Love

Donna.x

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Reflect Upon Your Blessings

…Reflect upon your blessings, of which every man has plenty, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some… – Charles Dickens

Do you spend more time reflecting on what a shame it is for you that you don’t have this or that, or on how lucky you are to have plentiful, running water; to have enough food to live; to have so many possessions you desperately need to clear clutter; to have access to any kind of education at all; to be able to express your opinion without being in fear of your life; for the air you breathe; for the sunshine; for spring flowers?

I could go on forever. Of course life is not perfect, but it’s a heck of a lot better than we sometimes give it credit for! It is easy to focus on the ‘what is missing’ from life, and sometimes it can be helpful – when you can see what’s missing, you can sort it out. But when it becomes an endless litany of why your life sucks, that’s no fun! (and doesn’t help you change anything) For today at least, take your attention off the misfortune in your life and reflect more on your blessings, and Happy Dance because your life is so filled with fortune!

Love

Donna.x

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Ask Donna: Out-takes

Because it is Good Friday, I decided to have a week off doing a video, but thought I’d share with you this fun out-takes montage from filming ‘Ask Donna’ – I was told recently that the videos looked seamless…but this is more the reality than the finished product you see!

Always remember that you rarely get to see the mess-ups, mistakes and failures of others – you just get to see the finished product. So if you have something that you are fluffing up and doing several ‘takes’ to get it right – that’s just how it goes, it’s not you that sucks! In the real world, there are LOTS of out-takes, and the more you can see them as funny, part of life and nothing to get upset about, the better!

Happy Easter!

Love

Donna.x

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Podcast: Time and Your Big Dream

The most important choice you make is what you choose to make important. What are you making more important than your Big Dream? TV? Surfing the internet? Reading trashy magazines? Are these things more important than your Big Dream? You may also find that you need less time than you think… just 10 minutes every day can find you making huge progress on your Big Dream.

To listen to this week’s podcast, click here: Time And Your Big Dream

Homework:
Look at how you can make some time in your busy life to work on your Big Dream every day. Cut out a bit of tv time, stop surfing the internet, cut out non essential time wasters. Take the time for your Big Dream…just a little bit of time…every day.

You can also subscribe to this podcast on itunes here.

May all your dreams become reality.

Love

Donna.x

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April Daily Practice: Happy Dance

In March, I had started to feel that my Daily Practices for this year had all been just a little bit sensible! Getting outside in January, 10 Minute Tidy in February and Trusting your Body, Mind, Heart and Soul in March. I am all about the Joyful Life, and pursuing your Big Dreams, living to the full…but mostly, Living Joyously. So, this month I decided we needed a slightly sillier, more fun Daily Practice. I had a few ideas, but none were really jumping out at me…until Friday 30th March (talk about leaving it to the last minute!) when I got my 150th ‘likee’ on my Facebook page.

And I did a Happy Dance! And took a photo!! If you pop over to my Facebook page you will see said photo! And it struck me – there’s nothing better than a Happy Dance! So this month, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find excuses to Happy Dance every day. You could also take a photo and share it on my Facebook Page! I’ll be doing that a few times through the month too. So join in!

And because this is a bit of a ‘silly’ practice, I feel compelled to explain why this is a GREAT practice to adopt for a month. Firstly, Happy Dancing is FUN! But if you need more reasons than ‘it’s fun’ to do something, here are some more: When you look for reasons to Happy Dance, they are almost always there – even on the shittiest of days, there is an excuse for a Happy Dance, and this practice will train you to see the good stuff that is there in your life. When you get used to looking for good stuff, like any other skill, you get better and better at seeing it. So your life gets better. Simply because of a small perspective change (and a Happy Dance).

And Happy Dancing is good exercise! And lastly, if you’ve not Happy Danced before, you will learn a new skill! So just in case you need instructions on how to Happy Dance: imagine you are Super Happy about something, then do a dance that expresses that happiness. Happy Dances are usually silly, fun, involve lots of limb waving and smiling…with the occasional whoop thrown in (for experts only). Are you going to join in?? And before you ask, no, this is not an April Fool’s joke…I’m serious about Happy Dancing!

Love

Donna.x

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Daily Practice Wrap Up: Trusting Your Body, Mind, Heart and Soul

So, did you join in with the March Daily Practice of Trusting yourself and listening to your Body, Mind, Heart and Soul? If you did, what did you learn from this practice? What did you enjoy about it? What did you find challenging? If you didn’t join in, what stopped you? Take a moment to just process your experience of this Daily Practice.

I have LOVED this practice – I have realised that my Body, Mind, Heart and Soul ALWAYS know EXACTLY the right advice to give me to help me feel better physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, or to help me get moving. It has, genuinely been an AWESOME experience! I will DEFINITELY be keeping this one up in future months. I noticed that as I kept going, I got more information, more clearly and more easy. Practice makes perfect! So if you struggled with this practice, take the time to keep trying, keep listening – the body, mind, heart and soul are always talking…we just need to learn to hear what they’re saying.

I also wanted to share a few of the gems my body, mind, heart and soul have shared…

From my body:

“Listen to me…or I will make you listen.”

“Pay attention – that tension you feel is telling you something…!”

“Rest.”

“Enjoy the sunshine!”

“Shake it off, dance it off, let it go.”

From my mind:

“Focus attention on one thing at a time.”

“Your to-do list will still have un-done items when you’re dead! Chill out.”

“Take time to NOT think”

“Rest time (for both body and mind) is necessary for peak performance.”

“Focus on the present moment.”

“You’d enjoy life more if you followed the energy and stopped trying to force it!”

From my heart:

“Take care of yourself, treasure.”

“Love life freely, and without reservation.”

“I love…” (my heart spent a lot of time this month appreciating things I love!)

“Fall in love with your life just as it is…focus on what you love, fall in love with each moment”

“What is the most loving thing you can do for yourself right now?”

From my soul:

“Step into your Power.”

“Leave room for Magic.” (don’t over-schedule)

“In the infinity of the universe, all problems are miniscule, so don’t worry about a thing!”

“You cannot get it wrong, anything you decide is ‘right’.”

“Your desire for better is a hunger driving you forward. It can be fuel if you channel it into forward momentum instead of criticism.”

I would love to hear what wisdom your body, mind, heart and soul have shared this month. Please leave me a comment with your gems.

Love

Donna.x

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Ask Donna: Conflicting Advice

Q: I have shared my big dream with friends and family, and they all have lots of advice for me…the trouble is all the advice conflicts and contradicts and I am now so confused I don’t know what to do! Whenever I say, this is what I’m going to do, someone tells me it won’t work and gives me a different idea to pursue – then someone else tells me that won’t work and so on. Who is right? – Karen

Other people give you advice from their perspective of the world, and sometimes their advice is just not relevant to you. You are the authority in your life, and you need to take charge. It is a gift that you get to do this, take charge, and become your own authority. Some people never get to do it and always live someone else’s life.

To be the authority in your life, you need to connect with your inner wisdom – my March Daily Practice will help you to connect with what you know – here’s the blog post hMarch Daily Practice

If you have a question, leave a comment below or contact me.

Love

Donna.x

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