Ask Donna: Huge Knockback to My Big Dream

Q: I’ve had a big knockback in my Big Dream. I am so disappointed, feel like everything I’ve worked towards is a waste and I feel like a total failure. – Alison

Please know that you’re not alone in this – many of us who follow a Big Dream get knockbacks, disappointments and hit roadblocks. Here’s my 3-step plan for you:
Step 1: Extreme self-care – here’s the link to the podcast about it: Extreme Self-care. The question you want to ask yourself is “What would I do today if I were taking extremely good care of myself?”
Step 2: Process your feelings. Safely. Gently…AFTER you’ve been taking extremely good to yourself. My 3 favourite ways are talking it through, writing about it and moving it through – by dancing or boxing or walking or running. Come over to http://www.facebook.com/donnaonthebeach to get a daily writing prompt.
Step 3: Get back in touch with your Big Dream, get back in touch with what you felt so passionate about. If your Big Dream is still important to you, don’t let the knock-back stop you.

Love

Donna.x

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Podcast: What if I Can’t Have My Big Dream?

Do you avoid following your Big Dream because you’re afraid of failure or disappointment? Disappointment is not that bad, compared to the aliveness, joy, potential and possibility that you find when you do follow your Big Dreams. Living a life which is crushing your soul is WAY more hurtful than any disappointment. Disappointment is ok – it’s fleeting, it passes. Failure is just feedback, it’s no big deal.

To listen to this week’s podcast, click here: What if I can’t have my big dream

Homework:
Part 1: Whenever you think ‘what if I can’t have my Big Dream’, balance it out by asking yourself ‘what if I CAN have my Big Dream’.
Part 2: TAKE ACTION ANYWAY! Move your Big Dream forward this week anyway, despite not knowing what’s going to happen!

You can also subscribe to this podcast on itunes here.

May all your dreams become reality.

Love

Donna.x

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Feeling Low as Rocket Fuel

What happens to your forward momentum and enjoyment of life when you feel down? Does your low feeling suck the life out of your dreams, desires and love of life? If your answer to that is yes, you’re not unusual. Most of us have a chain reaction to feeling low – feel down, start being negative, wonder if we’ll ever get to wherever it is you want to get, have a very glum face and no energy to move forward at all. We kind of wallow in that mud of misery for a while. After some time of idling and not moving forward, we start to get some forward momentum again and slowly our mood, energy and desire reawaken.

What if you were to use disappointments, doubts and fears to fuel your forward momentum? See them as like reaching the bottom of the swimming pool, if you use the bottom to propel you upwards, you will reach the surface faster and you may even (if you get it right) appear to leap out of the water, like a fish. How? As soon as you notice that you’re feeling a bit ‘meh’, use that as a reminder to take care of yourself, or a reminder to do something that energises you, or a reminder to go have some fun, or a reminder to focus on what you want.

Rather than being ruled by your feelings, use them as cues. It’s like when you see your fuel guage on the car is low, it reminds you to go to the petrol station. As soon as you notice you are feeling empty or low or fearful or discouraged, let it remind you to refuel in whatever way feels right to you. You know yourself best, and you will intuitively know what it is right for you to do. If you’re not that in touch with your intuition, this is a cue to work on sharpening your intuitive skills (which we all have by the way – and the more you use it, the more you will hear it and the more you will understand it).

And if you’re really unsure about what to do – laughter is always the best medicine!

Love

Donna.x

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Aiming High, Aiming Low

I came across this quote recently “the problem for most of us isn’t that we aim too high and miss, it’s that we aim too low and reach it”. Many people are afraid to dream big because they feel they will be disappointed if they miss their goal. And yes, there can be lots of disappointment when you’re going after something big. Often it feels like your dream is still a thousand miles away, and sometimes you wonder if you are ever going to make it.

But there is also a great deal of joy in going for something big and exciting. It is a lot of fun to go for your dreams. There is enthusiasm, passion, laughter, adventure, growth, connection with people you never would have met otherwise, learning you would never have had otherwise. You often find out how much you don’t know about the journey you’ve embarked on…and then you get what you need to know!

If you don’t even bother aiming for something big, life is a drudge, a series of small disappointments that add up to a life of quiet despair. Now, call me picky, but I would much rather have the chance of failure than the certainty of misery and feeling like a failure anyway for not going for it. And remember that your big dream is just that – YOURS. It doesn’t have to be what someone else would think is ‘big’…it’s just what you want for your life when you start to dream big.

So, if you were going to just think about dreaming big, what big dreams might you have? leave me a comment or contact me and let me know. You don’t have to go after that big dream, but you might want to!

Love

Donna.x

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