Every Moment is a Choice

How many choice points do you think you have in your life? Do you only see the “big” choice points – this job or that job, this relationship or a single life, buy a house or go to Australia. What would you think if I told you that this moment is a choice point?

And this one?

And this one?

And this moment right here?

What choices can you make in this moment?

Here’s a couple of ideas:

Do I do the most self-loving thing for myself now or not?

Do I look for the silver lining or not?

Do I do my best in this moment or do I just give in to apathy?

Do I choose to LIVE my life or do I wait for life to start?

Do I choose to raise my energy in this moment and do what I can to feel good or not?

Do I choose to smile or frown in this moment?

So what choices are you making? In every moment, you have the choice to change or not. There is no right or wrong in this by the way – no judgement, no blame. Just choice. So if you were to choose to do the most self-loving thing you could for yourself in this moment, what would happen? I understand that you may be at work and unable to have a long hot bath, but given the constraints you have, what would be the most self-loving thing to do?

How about if you chose to see the silver lining? What might change? Chose to do your best in this moment? Chose to LIVE? Chose to raise your energy? Chose to smile? (maybe even BEAM, chuckle, laugh, guffaw?!) You may choose to do the opposite of all of these – to see the worst, to do your worst, to exist apathetically, to lower your energy (we’re very good at that), to frown…but that’s your choice! So if that’s what you’ve chosen, I hope you’re enjoying it. (Once you get to a certain level of positivity, having a bad day can be fun too!)

What are you choosing in this moment? Let me know – leave a comment.

Love

Donna.x

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Your Cue for Change

It appears I was not alone in the UK in tapping into the holiday spirit – most of my clients have also found themselves taking their foot off the accelerator, cutting back and just hanging out. Many of them have noticed that when they do this, there is a curious reluctance to get moving again. It is a law of physics that an object at rest tends to stay at rest…and I have been that object at rest for weeks now! Luckily it is a law of physics that an object in motion tends to stay in motion, so once we’re moving again, all will be well. My clients (and me) have also noticed another effect of this period of downtime – those niggles, things that didn’t really bother you before suddenly become a real hassle and problems appear larger than they are. This is merely a cue to change.

- Your Cue for Change -

Many people think that life ‘should’ be easy. That we should cruise through life without a problem in the world…so when problems crop up, they are disappointed in themselves and think that they are doing it wrong. Over the past couple of weeks, there’s been a lot of downtime in the UK and many of my clients have found that this downtime brings introspection and the introspection brings to attention issues and problems. Because they (and I) have had more time than usual to ponder these issues, things that normally wouldn’t be a big deal are suddenly looming large in their attention.

This is a good thing. Problems, issues, roadblocks, obstacles all exist to HELP you. They come up so that they can be dealt with. The trouble is, most of the time, we deal with them half-heartedly or not at all. Take for example, an issue that crops up for many people fairly often – not having enough money left at the end of the month. Most of the time, we rob Peter to pay Paul, beg, borrow and scrape through the month. Then we forget all about it until the next time we have more month than money. Again, the short term fix, and again it’s forgotten. But what if you spent a moment and sat and thought about a long term solution? In this case, you could aim to earn more per month, aim to cut down your spending each month, create a savings account for this very purpose, have a ‘cushion’ of money in your account so you don’t need to go into your overdraft.

Sometimes a problem just seems too big to sort out once and for all, but it’s surprising how quickly most things can be sorted if you will just take the time. Taking this financial example alone, I spent years being in that position every month, but because I never took the time to sit and think about how I could solve the problem once and for all, the problem kept coming back, again and again. Eventually I realised life would be better if I sorted it out. Without earning any extra money (in fact, at the time, I was earning less money because it was just after I started my business I decided I couldn’t live like that anymore), I sorted the problem. Now it is very rare that I have more month than money, and every time I do, I take it as a reminder to take more action to stop it happening again.

The problem that came up for me in the last couple of weeks of downtime was that when the time came to get back to work, I really didn’t want to. This was a bit of a surprise because I love what I do, so this reluctance seemed odd. But actually, it wasn’t getting back to work that was the problem, it was getting back into a routine when I worked too much and played too little. Over the past couple of weekends, I have made sure to spend time with friends and family…because I had time. Now I’m back in the routine of work (or getting there), I need to do the same – make the time to take time off. It’s not the first time this issue has cropped up. And I know for a fact that when I get better at organising my work time so I can have more playtime, life (and business) will be better. So this ‘problem’ is here to help me see there is a better way.

Problems are not put in your path to piss you off. They are there so you can move past them, through them, under them. They are there to say to you ‘life can be better…and if you fix this issue once and for all, it will be’. So what issues and problems and obstacles come up for you time and again? Can you imagine if that problem was solved, once and for all? How much better would your life be if that issue no longer existed? By the way, don’t go giving your power away by saying ‘if THEY would change, this would be better’. It may well be true, but unless you intend to hold them at gunpoint to ‘make’ them do as you say, it’s out of your control. Focus on what YOU can do – and there is ALWAYS something you can do.

Take your problems, issues, niggles, upsets, roadblocks and challenges as your cues that something can be changed. Take some action to change things. Play the long game – especially with big problems that have been around for years. If it’s going to take a year to sort it, start now and take that year to sort it. And if you don’t know what to do to fix it, find out. Ask for help, search the internet, get a coach . Welcome problems as the catalysts they are – once you sort them out, life will be as you’ve always known it should be – easy, effortless, fun…with the odd problem, challenge and obstacle thrown in to show you that it can always be even better!

- Something to Play With -

Pick one problem, issue, challenge, obstacle, roadblock that is in your way. Sit and think about what would need to happen to fix this problem once and for all. Be open to ideas you may not have thought of before. Now take some action. And keep taking action until that problem is fixed! Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave a comment below or pop over to my facebook page and leave a comment there.

To your success!

Love

Donna.x

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Playing For Change

I got a link to these videos from Daryn Kagan, and then spent about an hour finding out more about these guys and their project – and what a project!!! Check out these videos:

The Explanation:

Stand by Me:

If you want to find out more, check out their website, YouTube Channel, and let me know what you think!

Love

Donna.x

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Don’t Rush The Rose

A rose will blossom in its own sweet time. And so will you. Be patient with the process of growing and changing and becoming who you are. It takes time and a lot of under the surface work to achieve such beauty, such wonder as you are. Trust that you are doing really well on your journey, whether you can see the rose petals or just the thorns.

Love

Donna.x

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Dream Big

If you could change the world, what would you change? What would you have happen? Can you make that change within yourself? Can you help one other person make that change? And another? Every single person can make a big difference – start with a big dream, then start taking small steps – and just imagine if every person in the world did the same..a big dream indeed.

Love

Donna.x

Check out the January special offer here

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Ask Donna – Seeing In the New Year

Video
Making 2009 a GREAT year! Are you going to take the action required to make 2009 brilliant? What are you going to make this year about? What would you love to happen in 2009? What would you love to change about your life? What would make you look back in a year and go ‘WOW’? Don’t give up anything…make it about what you WANT!

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2009: The Year of…

What will 2009 be the year of for you? What do you want to make the year about?

Some examples of what the year could be about:

The Year of Self-Care

The Year of Claiming Personal Power

The Year of Great Change

The Year of Laughter and Fun

The Year of Positive Action

I’ve had a theme for every year for the last 5 years, and it has really made a big difference to my life. The trick is not to just have the thought then never think of it again, but to do something every day towards your theme, and to remember your theme in everything you do. So if your theme is laughter and fun, and you are forcing yourself to do things that you don’t enjoy…you are not following your theme.

So, what’s your year going to be about in 2009? 2009 for me is going to be the year of service – giving as much as I can to others. Leave me a comment and let me know what your 2009 will be about.

Love

Donna.x

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The Water Slide of Change

Change is inevitable in life – do you welcome it, or resist it furiously? Change can be quite scary, but if you can go with it you might enjoy the ride. I like to think of it like this: imagine a water slide as a metaphor for change in life. You are at the top, and you will end up at the bottom – you will either go quickly, whooping with exhilaration, or slowly, clinging desperately to the sides until your shoulders are ready to pop! Could you let go and enjoy the ride?

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – I am Where I Am And Where I Am Needs No Excuses

My apologies for both stealing and changing the words of a well known cheesy choon. It’s usually ‘I am what I am’ but today I want to talk about where you am. Where you are in your life specifically. I suspect that wherever you are, you’d quite like to be somewhere else – relationship wise, career wise, even geographically. That’s natural, it’s normal because part of what makes us human is our desire to grow, evolve and change.

Trouble is that because you’d quite like to be somewhere else, where you are now gets a bad rap. We often think that life will be better when we’re richer, thinner, live somewhere else, have more stuff or more power…but often all that changes is that we get a bit richer, thinner, live somewhere else, have more stuff or more power. Somehow life doesn’t get better. So when we are unhappy, we believe that where we are is to blame in some way.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating staying put in a rubbish situation. But I do advocate being at peace with where you are, even enjoying where you are to whatever extent you can. Why? Well, first of all you are where you are in life…and you’ll likely be there for the next few minutes at least – maybe even the next few days, weeks or months. So why not find a way to let it be ok to be where you are? You’ve got to be there anyway! Resisting reality is a sign of insanity – it drives you crazy! That resistance is a BIG part of why you feel so bad. Stop fighting the reality of where you are right now.

Secondly, where you are is part of your journey – if you are not totally loving where you are right now, it is helping you to get more clarity about where you’d like to be. This is a VERY GOOD THING! Most of us look at this contrast between what we want and what we have and get depressed, but actually if you didn’t have ‘this’ how would you know you want ‘that’? For example, every rubbish relationship you ever had brings you to a closer understanding of what you really want in a partner, and this experience helps you sort the wheat from the chaff.

Thirdly, contrary to popular belief, bemoaning, criticizing and denouncing where we are does not help us to move on. It actually undermines our confidence, keeps us stuck and makes the situation even worse! Years ago I was in a job I hated and I wanted to leave for 3 years…but when I came to terms with the fact that for now, I was there and I needed to start making the best of it, I decided to leave. Within a month! If you’re feeling ok with where you are, you’re in a great position to move with ease to the next phase of your life – and worse case scenario, you are where you are and that’s ok!

- Something To Play With -

Think about a situation in your life that you’d like to change. Now find 5 things about that situation that are actually good. Now find 5 more. Keep doing this for a few weeks and notice how your resistance lowers and your confidence rises. Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below. xx

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Change Thyself

When you are desperate for someone else to change, and they won’t (the selfish buggers!), try changing yourself instead. If you think it’s so easy to make that change, you do it – lead by example instead of ‘telling’.

Ultimately, it’s the only thing you can do, and it’s a lot more successful at changing the behaviour of others than moaning!

Love

Donna.x

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