Writing and The Work

April 20, 2009 by  
Filed under Articles

A note from Donna
I was telling a friend about this insight a couple of weeks ago, and she suggested that it would make an interesting article. This is based on ‘The Work’, a four-step process used by Byron Katie (see recommendation) – the premise is that you explore a stressful thought through these four questions and the turnaround. On this particular day, I was exploring why I wasn’t writing, which surfaced the most beautiful belief: If I only write when I want to, I’ll never write.

Writing and The Work
If I only write when I want to, I’ll never write. Question 1: Is this True? No. (Question 2 is ‘Can I know for sure that this is true?’ – irrelevant in this case as it is not true in the first place!)

Question 3: How do I react when I believe this thought “if I only write when I want to, I’ll never write”? I get p***ed off. I compare myself unfavourably to other writers who force the process to get themselves flowing. I get mardy because I don’t want to do that at all. I love writing, but this takes the joy out of it for me. I don’t want to write when I believe this thought!

Question 4: Who would I be without this thought? Oh wow, I feel light, free, happy, I’m looking forward to writing, I’m excited about creating more fabulous stuff. I know that I create well when I am inspired so I feel really proud (in advance) of what I will create.

Turnarounds:
If I only write when I want to, I’ll always write. This feels so much more true – I’ve been writing regularly now for 6 years and I am always having ideas and inspirations…and I love writing. So if I don’t ruin it for myself and make it a chore, I will always want to do it.
If I never write when I want to I’ll never write. Yes! Very true – if I’m always trying to ‘make’ myself do it, I’ll kill the desire to do it!
If I only write when I don’t want to, I’ll never write. Yes! This is exactly what’s been happening.

This exploration helped me to realise something – I have never wanted to create in a formulaic way, to me it kills the creativity. And yet here I have been, trying to force structure around something that isn’t structured. And that forcing has actually been slowing down my writing. So, now I am back to writing when I want to…and LOVING it!

Something to play with
Check out www.thework.com for instructions about doing the work, or buy the book, and then start to explore your stressful thoughts – you may find, as I did, that your stressful thought is a load of b***cks!

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

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What You Think of Me is None Of My Business

February 12, 2009 by  
Filed under Blog posts

I just had coffee with a friend this afternoon (and home made shortbread…mmmmmmm) and we were talking about a Bryon Katie-ism “What you think of me is none of my business”. I just LOVE this particular idea – it really speaks of the truth of the matter that, as much as we would like to, we cannot control the thoughts of another. And although we all liked to be liked, we cannot make another person like us.

To accept the truth that what you think of me is none of my business requires self confidence. Not arrogance ‘I don’t care what you think’, but confidence that whatever someone else thinks of you is a result of their thoughts, their life, their experience…not your business. Imagine how your life would change if you lived this truth that what another person thinks of you is none of your business.

They will think what they think, regardless of your feelings and thoughts about it. So let them think what they think, and only concentrate on ‘what do I think of me?’ Because ultimately just as what others think of you is none of your business, what you think of you is only your business! Let me know your thoughts on this – leave me a comment.

Love

Donna.x

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