Stop Looking At What You Ain’t Got

I had a vague thought in the back of my mind to write something about thankfulness and gratitude today, as it’s Thanksgiving in the States. Even though we don’t have that celebration here, I feel like I do…because I read lots of newsletters and blogs from folks in the states! So I’m absorbing Thanksgiving by osmosis. I also think it’s a cool idea for a day – “eat loads of food and say thank you for stuff” as one of my American friends describes it. Sounds like my kind of day!

Anyway, on the radio today T.I featuring Rhianna “Live your Life” has been playing, which starts “Stop looking at what you ain’t got and start being thankful for what you do got.” Which gives me the perfect message really doesn’t it? Especially in tough times, it’s a really great practice to stop complaining about what we don’t have, and be thankful for what we do have. It reminds me of a Lenny Henry sketch in which he talks about a tribe who greet one another with ‘how are you? And your wife and family? And your goat?’ – and that’s it because that’s all they have.

Imagine if someone were to greet you with ‘How are you? And your husband and family? And your car? And your wardrobe full of clothes? And your 25 pairs of shoes? And your widescreen television? And your electric power shower? And your tinted moisturiser? And your laptop? And your 200 CD’s? And your fridge with it’s own ice-maker? And your 43 saucepans? And…’ You’d be there for HOURS! Days, even.

So for today, even if you’re not in a place that celebrates Thanksgiving, give thanks anyway for all that you have – not just the material possessions, but the love and friendship and joy that surrounds you. And I want to thank you for reading, and for giving me an audience to play to!

Love

Donna.x

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If You Can’t Think Of Anything Nice to Say, You’re Not Trying Hard Enough

You will probably have heard the saying “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. But all that means is that you have a lot of ‘not-nice’ things unsaid. So I’d like to challenge you now – think of someone that you have nothing nice to say about…and try harder to find something nice to say!

Find their good points, compliment them, appreciate them, big them up to other people. Not only is this more fun than gossiping and running people down, it’s quite amazing what happens when you start being nice. You get back what you give out, so you will find over time that people are more complimentary about you too. Also, people tend to live up (or down) to your expectations of them so expecting the best from them brings out the best. And lastly, when you are looking for the good in people, you find that they are a sparkling diamond.

Love

Donna.x
PS I’ve always liked you, you have excellent taste in blogs! xx

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Wallowing in Happiness

One of the things that ‘happy people’ have in common is that they wallow in happiness. They look forward to things (not just big things), they enjoy the memories of things (not just big things), they are grateful for good times they’ve had, they appreciate good things as they happen and make a big deal of them. ‘Unhappy people’ on the other hand tend to dwell on how much life sucks, wallow in the bad things that happen, and pretty much ignore the good stuff. I know this because I used to be unhappy. And now I’m generally happy.

And one of the big things that has changed is my focus. Instead of wallowing in and dwelling on the ‘bad’ stuff that happens on a day to day basis, I wallow in and dwell on ‘good’ stuff and I make a point of noticing that I am enjoying whatever it is that I am enjoying. Not all the time, I’m not perfect…but when I have a bit of a visit to negative town, I can get out pretty quickly because my habit is to focus on, pay attention to and be grateful for ‘good stuff’. And we all have ‘bad’ stuff and ‘good’ stuff happening every day. Not just the big stuff that only happens once a year/lifetime like birthdays, christmas, promotions, marriages, holidays. But little things, like the sun shining, clean washing, a tidy desk, a laugh with a friend, a stranger smiling at you, someone letting you out in traffic.

That’s why, over at my facebook page, I have started to focus even more on ‘the good stuff’ every week. Every Monday I ask “What was the best part of your weekend? And what are you looking forward to this week?” and share my thoughts. Every Wednesday I tell you one of my favourite things, and ask what one of your favourite things is. And every Friday I ask “What was the best part of your week? And what are you looking forward to this weekend?” So everybody who ‘likes’ this page will be reminded to focus on what’s good in life. It’s a small thing, but it is SO powerful. So why don’t you come and join me over at facebook.com/donnaonthebeach? And wallow in the small happinesses in life.

Love

Donna.x

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Feeling Like A Fraud

A couple of people this week have been expressing their admiration, respect and appreciation for me. I accepted the compliments with grace as I always try to – I feel that deflecting a compliment is like throwing a gift back in someone’s face and telling them they’re wrong when they’re trying to be nice. However, I must admit that I felt like a bit of a fraud. Not because the things they were complimenting me for were not true, they were (I am fabulous! Lol), but because the good stuff is only half the story.

I might be inspiring because of my stubborness, determination and drive…but they don’t see the days when I can’t even be bothered to get out of bed and give up on the day before it’s even began. I might have written some inspiring stuff and made some inspiring videos, but they don’t show the days when I don’t have an idea in my head and struggle to write more than 4 words or fluff my lines 17 times before getting the video ‘right’. I might be gifted at coming up with easy ways to explain complexicated stuff, but there are times I struggle to remember words for ordinary, everyday things.

But isn’t that the case for each of us? We all have genius and brilliance and magnificence…and we all have moments of stuckness and ordinariness and being utterly rubbish. I felt a little uncomfortable with all the praise because underneath my genius and brilliance, I am an ordinary human being with foibles and f-ups and times when I am the worst of myself, not the best. So who says that ordinary human beings don’t deserve compliments?

I’d be very odd if I didn’t have my moments of being less than perfect…and this is what led to me getting over my discomfort. I ALWAYS notice my moments of imperfection. Occasionally (less these days, but I still do it), I give myself quite a bit of shit for my mistakes and for not living up to my idea of ‘the best of me’. I OCCASIONALLY notice my moments of brilliance, genius and magnificence (more these days, but some still pass me by!). So when other people pick up on those things, not only should I be graciously accepting the compliments, I want to be taking their cue – and remembering to appreciate my own brilliance, magnificence and genius.

Do you accept compliments graciously? Do you notice your f-ups way more than you notice when you ‘get it right’? Do you notice when you did something magnificent? Do you notice your moments of genius? Do you appreciate yourself? I’m guessing the answer is more no than yes, because most of us are way too hard on ourselves. So this week, make an effort to compliment yourself. Make an effort to see yourself at your very best and give yourself some credit for how magnificent you are. Yes, you.

If you struggle with this, that’s ok. Do it anyway. Find things about yourself to appreciate anyway. With practice it will get easier. And you can always practice on other people – noticing their magnificence, brilliance and genius will help open your eyes to your own. And before you start saying ‘oh but I’m not…’ – you are. You absolutely are. Everyone of us is a unique, magnificent, very special person. You are no exception. And if you need reminding of this, watch this video – it will remind you of who you ARE.

Love

Donna.x

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Pat On The Back

Lately I’ve received quite a few pats on the back for my website/blog. I received a LOVELY e-mail last week thanking me for my ramblings (they didn’t say ramblings, but that’s how I like to think of my blog!). A couple of ‘new’ friends have complimented my fabulous website and blog, and then yesterday I was working at a company in Birmingham and one of the chaps said he’d looked at my website to research me and thought my website was great. He said I obviously put a lot of work and thought into it, it showed and it was great!

How lovely. To anyone who has ever had an appreciative thought about my website/blog/newsletter, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Of course, I don’t do it for plaudits, I do it because I believe in it, I love it, and I love that you guys are out there reading it. But it is nice occasionally to hear that it is hitting the intended target! Which brings me to my topic for the day: appreciation. Appreciation is one of the easiest things to give, one of the greatest gifts you can give, and they joy people have when they receive appreciation is wonderful.

But all too often, we don’t appreciate, we criticise. Other people and ourselves. It becomes a very very bad habit that not only makes us feel discontented, it also puts frown lines on our faces! And whether the other person hears the criticism or not, they will get a sense that something is wrong. Of course, there is often much to criticise! If I wanted to be critical of my day, I could find many things and people to criticise for not being 100% perfect according to ‘Donna’s rules’. But I could find an equal amount of things to appreciate.

The difference is that when you take the time to appreciate rather than criticise, you feel better. And if you pass on a little of that appreciation, other people feel better too. So I have an assignment for you today. Look at the people closest to you – partners, children, friends, colleagues and find something to appreciate about them. You might want to share it with them too. Heartfelt pats on the back are always welcomed, and in these dark days of winter, you could bring a little sunshine into their lives!

If you want to, you could even extend the appreciation to people you come across in your day. For example, I had to return an item to a shop today and the woman who served me was SO helpful and lovely that I had to say to her, not only ‘thankyou’ which I’d have said even if she wasn’t helpful (it’s a British thing, I don’t understand it either) but also ‘I really appreciate your helpfulness and brilliance’. To be honest, I think she found this praise slightly OTT but it did bring a smile to her face!

Anyway, to finish, thank you. I really appreciate that you read, comment, enjoy and visit my humble blog and I congratulate you on your wisdom and good taste! ;-D

Much love

Donna.x

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Giving Thanks

Today is Thanksgiving holiday in the US. Now this is a holiday I like! It’s all about good food and appreciation. What a great reason for a day off. Although we don’t celebrate it here in the UK, it’s a good reminder to appreciate what you have. All to often we go through life just focusing on what is missing.

So today, Happy Thanksgiving to you guys in the US, and congratulations on having a fabulous holiday about appreciation. I salute you! And for the rest of us, let’s take a few minutes today to count our blessings. We have so much to be thankful for. And I would like to thank YOU for reading, for commenting, for being the reason that I write blogs. I appreciate your presence on my blog more than you will ever know. Thank you.

Love

Donna.x

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How Do You Choose to Spend Your Time?

Tell me this, if I asked you what’s ‘wrong’ in your life, how long could you talk for on this subject?

And if I asked you what’s good about your life, how long could you talk for?

And which do you choose to talk about more?

I have spent a lot of time (for me) over the past few days telling people about how my life sucks. But the thing is, everyone has things ‘wrong’ with their life – the question is how do you choose to spend your time? Moaning about how life is crap, or appreciating just how good you have it? (And if you don’t think you have it good, spend a bit more time on thinking about what is good – air in your lungs is a good one!)

I chose to spend a goodly portion of my life over the past few days whinging (and I enjoyed it too!), but I know deep in my heart that I have much more to appreciate than I do to moan about, and now I’m choosing to remember that, and use that air in my lungs accordingly.

Love

Donna.x

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MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS one and all!

I hope you are having a lovely day, that you got everything you asked Santa for, that you are having lots of fun, love and laughter. Remember today to appreciate all that you have – all of the presents, all of the love, all of the quality television (Doctor Who and Strictly Come Dancing – GET IN!) Gratitude is one of the most beautiful things, and the more you can appreciate what’s already in your life, the more you will enjoy all that you have.

Wishing you all the joy you can stand!

Love

Donna.x

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Love’s Labour’s Lost – YAY!

A couple of months ago I went to see Dr Who (David Tennant) in Hamlet at the Crescent Theatre in Stratford. I discovered that he was also in Love’s Labour’s Lost – a Shakespeare play that is rarely performed (at Stratford at least). It was sold out, but you can sometimes get a ticket if you go down to the theatre on the day and there are any returns. So I’ve been thinking about doing this for months – I have LOVED every performance I have seen in Stratford, and wanted to see a play I don’t know.

This week is the last week – there’s just 2 performances left, Friday night and Saturday matinee. So today I called the box office to ask what time I’d need to get there to get a ticket, whether I’d be able to get one and other such questions. I spoke to the most lovely, helpful lady who discovered while we were talking that there was a ticket available!!!!! AMAZING! It’s a standing ticket, but I can go over and see if there’s any returns knowing that I’ll be able to see it anyway.

Ok, that’s the back story: here’s the point of my post today – 3 of the things that makes a life so wonderful is following your wants, appreciating the help you get along the way, and getting RIDICULOUSLY excited about the things that you are looking forward to! I am SO excited I can barely sit still, I am SO grateful for that lady who helped me, and I am SO glad that I followed my want…what can you do TODAY to follow a want, to appreciate something or someone, and to get RIDICULOUSLY excited about something in your life.

Oh, it’s only a play…and I might have to stand up all the way through it…but I know that this is going to be a MAGNIFICENT 3 hours in my life. I can’t wait!

Love

Donna.x

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