So, how are you feeling right now? Are you loving life? Are you full of beans and joie de vivre? Or have the winter blues set in deeply for you? I have spoken to quite a few people in the last few weeks who are in crisis mode – either they’re having their bi-yearly meltdown (c’est moi), or they’ve realised they cannot keep working at the rate they were and stay sane, or they have family troubles, or the winter has hit them hard…or something has gone on that has broken them somehow.
There’s been a lot of it around. And then, it hit me too! Ye Goode Olde Meltdowne. Ah, how I’ve missed its tender ways. Not. It’s funny, at the 30 seconds to mars gig last week, I had a ‘moment’ – Jared Leto was talking about when you’re having a hard time, the breakthrough is just around the corner. It hit me right in the heart…even though at the time I wasn’t having a hard time at all. But then, this week, when I started to fall apart, I remembered it. (Thanks to the wonders of modern technology you can watch it here – including little Ivy…so cute)
Thanks Jared, it was just what I needed. (and had I had the meltdown last week, I would have sobbed my head off at the gig…#justsayin) Anyway, regular readers will know that I am a pulpit basher for self-care (here’s a collection of the articles I’ve written about self-care), and one of the things I do every day when I do my morning pages is check in with myself and check how cared for I feel, how much energy I have, and how much I’m enjoying life right now. By the way, if you’d like to do this process, here’s a how to.
Normally we’d be looking at 8+ in all areas. Today, self-care was 5.5; energy was 3.5 and enjoyment of life was (I cannot believe I am admitting this publically) zero. ZERO! I cannot remember the last time my enjoyment of life was so low. (after a snooze and some loud music and ‘stare out of the window’ time, it was up to a 5, so we’re improving all the time)
And then the thought hit me:
This is not a good time to be making life-changing decisions.
Like running away to join the circus, or changing my entire business, or going to live in a squat in Bangkok. Not that I was going to do any of those things. But when you’re in ‘meltdown’ mode, the grand gesture looks tempting – you know, the one where you just jettison your whole life and go live a simpler life as a Vietnamese fisherman or something. Usually these thoughts involve you doing things you wouldn’t even consider when you’re feeling good.
Because it’s not a good time to be making life-changing decisions. When your self-care is low, your energy is low and you’re not enjoying life, it’s not the time to start looking at what else you could be doing. It’s not the time. Because Meltdown Mind is not rational, or clear, or even (certainly in my case), sane!
It’s the time to take great care of yourself, to do whatever you need to do to feel better (in my case, nothing, snoozing, and loud music – in that order today), to refuel your energy tank and to gently start to make yourself feel better. Once your self-care, energy and enjoyment of life are up to a 7 or more, if you still want to make big changes, then you can…but in my experience of my own meltdowns, once I’m feeling good again, I think ‘thank God I didn’t sell all my stuff and run off to Vietnam’.
So, if you’re one of the exclusive group of us who are having a tough time right now…number one, listen to Jared, he’ll make you feel better…and number two, don’t make any life changing decisions until you feel better.
I hereby give you permission to take great care of yourself, to sleep, to stare out of the window, to read a book, to watch some tv, to have a bath, to do nothing if that’s what you need, to let the storm pass, and to leave the life-changing decisions and explorations for a new day…one where fishing in Vietnam isn’t top of the list
Love
Donna.x
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16 responses to “OnTheBeach: Not a Good Time To Make Life-Changing Decisions”
Lmao – excellent point well made! He is a fine specimen ay?! (wish he’d get a haircut though) Well done for continuing to follow through with the self-care – it’s hard to get into the habit, you’re doing brilliantly! And sometimes you do need a bit of drastic self-care to avoid the meltdowns!!! #justsayin xxx
Yep, I think they’re of the same family! 😀 Thank you sweetie – I am feeling better, I hope you are too. Sending big hugs your way. xx
Lol. So am I! I know nothing about fishing. 😀 Thanks Shan – by the way, you can get my free ebook about self-care if you want a little more help with your mission! xxxx <3
Oh sweetie – a big hug to you! I know what you mean about feeling you should be better, it’s so hard to confess to vulnerability. But I know that sharing gives other people permission to be vulnerable (you’re welcome!) ;and it allows the help and support you need to come. My last meltdown (I do have them a couple of times a year!) made me realise I needed help in my business – I got it, and business is better than ever. This time has made me realise I need to change a few things. When you get to the point of ‘I cannot go on like this’ it gives you great impetus to make changes.
This time last year, I had a daily practice for the month of December of ‘Joy’ – here’s the article https://donnaonthebeach.com/blog/2012/12/december-daily-practice-joy/ it might help you to reconnect with your joy. Mwah! xxx
Thanks sweetie – I am so glad the message reached you at the perfect time so you can take excellent care of you and enjoy the healing and regrouping time! Sending you love, light and healing energy. xxx
😀 Thanks Cynthia – it’s great isn’t it? It works so well – with clients too. Usually “life is hard”=”self-care is low”! Thank you for honouring the courage to share – it is so much easier to be vulnerable when your cheerleaders are on your side! xx
Just LOOKING at Jared usually makes me feel better. I’m still checking in, thinking self-care and what I can do for me every day….getting better at doing it and trying to avoid meltdown, but these things are sent to try us!! I’m glad Mr Leto calmed you down 😉
LOL!
“Become a fisherman in VietNam” sounds closely related to my “Run off and herd sheep in New Zealand”, doesn’t it?
Hope you’re feeling better after a “good night’s sleep” and stuff ~ and that I am, too. 🙂
Donna, I’m so glad you didn’t run off and become a Vietnamese fisherman! It’s been a while since I’ve visited, but what would we do without your reminders to make sure we care for ourselves as we do others? I’m on a radical self-care mission at the moment and this was a timely reinforcement. Thank you xx
I had a meltdown a few days ago, and a week ago I admitted to my friends that currently I’m not enjoying life AT ALL and nothing makes me happy.
Having read Eckhart Tolle I know that joy comes from within so I just need to reconnect with it, but damn it’s hard.
It’s not just winter blues either, I’ve had issues for the past 2 and a half years that still aren’t resolved and I came to a point where I feel like I can’t go on like this. But I have a hard time admitting it publicly because I feel I should somehow feel better and more empowered than I do.
I’m not glad you’re having a difficult time, but thank you for sharing this and giving me permission to share as well.
I especially love your intro…I have to also remember when it’s not a good time to life a changing decision. Right now I’m recovering from foot surgery and I’m still focusing on my business by crafting ideas etc. Now, is a time I just need to heal and regroup. What a kind reminder!
Oh now this is awesome. Not the fact that you’re in melt-down mode (of course not sweetheart) but your self-care rating process. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your zero. I’ve had a few of those lately myself. love, Cynthia
Well, I can tell you, it sucks if you don’t pay attention to that ‘it’s coming’ feeling!!! If I could turn back time, I’d take the week off I knew I needed before the meltdown happened! So, what can you do now to fend off the meltdown?! x
Yeah, that’s what I’m starting to think Suzie! Lots of people seem to be coming down with it. Good for you for catching it and getting back up quickly. 😀 x
Oh yes… I so hear you on this. I fear mine is coming. Good on you for recognizing and moving on that recognition.
Must be something in the air Donna 🙂 I have had a bit of a week of 5s rather then 8 -10 which is where I like to be. So yesterday i took myself off for a long walk solo with my ipod pumping in afformations and I made a shift. Today i feel like a 9. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.