How much do you go with the flow of your life? How much time do you spend paying attention to how you feel and honouring that? How often do you stop and acknowledge “aaah, the energy is ebbing, let me honour that“? If you are like most of us, you don’t. You instead actively go against the flow. When you’re ebbing, you want to be flowing, when you’re tired, you ignore it because you have stuff to do. When everyone around you is setting resolutions and goals (they won’t keep), you join in…even though you’re not feeling it.
That’s a version of what most of us do. We ignore our ebbs and flows. We ignore what we feel and what we feel like doing in favour of just pushing on through and doing what we ‘need’ to do. Sometimes that’s true, baby gotta be fed, jobs gotta be done. But often what we ‘need’ to do is completely made up…and the task would be better served by us pausing, replenishing, refilling the well, honouring the energy and coming back fully energised and rested.
But that’s not right, surely? Surely we’re supposed to push and MAKE things happen and break through barriers? Well, to an extent I agree with making things happen and breaking through barriers (but not pushing – there’s no need), but not at the expense of your sanity. You can make things happen by flowing. You can break barriers by following your energy. You can create wonderful things in your life without any stress, drama, exhaustion, brain fry or fight.
Many people think that if they “give in” to their desire to slow down, they’ll stop forever and never get off the couch. My experience, and the experience of my clients suggests the opposite. Instead of falling into a lazy, reclined existence of watching tv and eating Pringles, once we’re feeling rested, once the ebb has passed, once we’ve refilled the tank, there is easy action, momentum and forward motion.
But it’s totally different. It doesn’t feel so hard. It doesn’t exhaust us. It doesn’t make us feel anxious, frantic, pressured. It’s just action – the next right action in the flow. And when we encounter obstacles (as we inevitably do!), we flow right round them, through them, under them or over them. With ease. Sounds terrible, right? No stress, no drama? No feeling bad for not achieving an impossible expectation. No self-flagellation?
What would the world be like if we didn’t spend half our time beating ourselves up?
Um…actually it’s quite nice! Now I don’t want you to think that I am a Zen being with 14 hours of meditation behind me every day, because I’m not. In fact, this new insistence on flowing in my life is because I ended last year stressed and up against an imaginary deadline that turned me into a wreck of a human being. So exhausted was I at the end of 2014, I decided my word of 2015 was PEACE.
So flow isn’t always my default way of being…but it is the natural way of being. And I experimented at length in 2014 with being in the flow of my life (writing my book) and with not being in flow (editing said book and creating my New Year E-Workshop) I can tell you with absolute certainty that flowing is more fun, easier, less stressful, AND you actually get more done…because you’re not busy crowding out creativity with self-doubt, fear, stress and exhaustion.
Hey, if you prefer to keep fighting your life, go for it…it’s your life, you get to do whatever the heck you want! But my advice is to start following the flow of your life. It’ll make your next 60 years much happier! Think of water…water just flows – it finds the path of least resistance and flows. Easily, no stress, no drama, no push, no exhaustion, no nervous breakdown. And if it finds an obstacle in its path, it pools until it finds a way past, through or even over that obstacle.
As a fire sign, I find the temptation to go for massive action and burn myself out very enticing…but the ease of water’s journey is beginning to appeal more. And I can use the fire in a different way – to start projects and keep my dreams warm…but without burning out. Sounds fun, huh?! (feel free to remind me of this when I forget and start burning out again in about March!)
So, how do you follow your flow? Well, to start with, notice how you’re feeling. And what you’re feeling. And what you need. Most of us have tuned out our natural barometers of health – our body, mind, heart and soul…but if you tune back in and listen to what they have to say, you’ll get a good sense of where you’re at and what you need. And then do your best to acknowledge and honour that flow.
I know that’s not always easy – there’s work and family and all sorts of things competing for your time and attention…and when you’re busy, it’s so hard to step off the merry-go-round long enough to see that what you’re doing and how you’re being is counter-productive. But if you can take the time to pause and notice, you’re halfway there. The other half is acting on that knowledge…and again, it’s not always easy…but if you put your creative pants on, you’ll find a way.
Be gentle with yourself in this – we’re not looking for perfection, just progress. And trust your own inner wisdom – you know what you need, you know where the flow is calling you…you just need to take the time to hear the wisdom and honour the knowledge…even if the critical voice in your head is screaming at you like a Sergeant-Major on steroids. The funny thing is that when you do step off (or often, we just fall off) the merry-go-round and follow the flow, that critical voice will shut up. It becomes clear really quickly that going with the flow is more efficient and effective so the CV can pipe down and just let you get on with it.
The flow of your life is waiting for you to step into it and start dancing joyfully through life.
So take time today to step back and notice what you can do to step into that flow right now and start living with ease, joy and no stress. If you don’t like it, you can always go back to your old way of being for a while…But I suspect you’ll find that living in the flow of your life is a much better way to live your life.
Much love
Donna.x