Put Yourself First For Christmas
December 14, 2009 by Donna
Filed under Blog posts
The silly season is upon us. Everywhere I look I see stressed out people with too much on their minds. Shopping, money, parties, work, and trying to fit in a life amid the business of having a perfect Christmas. But the funny thing is that if you stop and think about it, the best Christmases aren’t about the pressies, the decs, the perfect meal, cramming in as many parties and mince pies as possible.
The best Christmases are about having a laugh, enjoying yourself, having the time to spend with the people who matter to you, and the energy to enjoy their company. And that last one is the key – if you wear yourself out in the run up to Christmas, you will miss out…and your friends and family will miss out on you. (which, believe it or not, would be worse than a forgotten mince pie, tinsel decoration or present)
Think for a moment about taking care of yourself for Christmas – you can say no to things you don’t have time or energy for, you can leave the decorations at ‘well enough’ instead of perfect, and you can enjoy the festive season…if you put at the top of your Christmas to do list “Put myself first.” It might sound ’selfish’, but personally think it’s more selfish if you run around like a headless chicken, ignoring those around you and falling ill so they have to look after you on Christmas Day!
Trust me, your friends and family will love it if you are full of festive fun. They’d much rather see that than see you stressed out and sick!
Love
Donna.x
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Self Care Vs Self Torture
August 18, 2009 by Donna
Filed under Articles, Blog posts
After talking to several clients, friends, and myself about self-care, I started to wonder if we learnt how to take care of ourselves from torturers. Do you recognise any of the following methods of ‘caring’ for yourself?
1. Feed your victim none nutritious food
2. Order your victim around
3. Deprive your victim of sleep
4. Physically, emotionally and mentally abuse your victim
5. Deprive your victim of water
6. Judge your victim harshly
7. Have impossibly high expectations, and get angry and abusive when these expectations are not met
8. Find your victim’s sensitivities and use them to hurt them again and again.
9. Keep your victim caged in an unhealthy environment with no fresh air
10. Teach others how to treat your victim – with no respect.
Seriously, take another look at the list above – ever done any of those things to yourself? I suspect most of you will be able to say ‘yes, I have done them all to myself’. Interesting eh? Even more interesting is that most of us would never treat someone else the way we treat ourselves.
If we wouldn’t treat anyone else like that, why do we do it to ourselves? We are not cruel by nature, we just don’t know any better. We grew up watching people be horrible to themselves, we’re surrounded by other people caught in the torture trap, and getting out of that trap is seen as ‘boring’ or ‘selfish’.
A magnificent catch-22 isn’t it? Despite the fact that we know torturing ourselves is NOT the answer, we are turned off the alternative because society as a whole advocates the torturous road. Are you running with the herd on hot coals? If you were to consciously choose whether to continue beating yourself into the ground or taking excellent care of yourself, which would you choose?
What have you unconsciously chosen? Have you spent so long torturing yourself that you have Stockholm syndrome ? Are you ready to make a new choice? Trust me, it is not selfish, or wrong, or boring, or square to take care of yourself. You deserve to be healthy, energetic, happy and getting the best from your body, mind and spirit. More torture will only bring more pain, and you deserve better from you. Choose life, not persecution.
Love
Donna.x
PS this is an excerpt from my FREE ebook “The First Step To a Joyful Life” – to get your free copy, go to http://www.donnaonthebeach.com/blog/index.php/sign-up-for-more-donna/
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Nothing is More Important Than That You Feel Good
June 17, 2009 by Donna
Filed under Blog posts, video
When you are physically fit, mentally clear, emotionally stable, connected to your source and guidance, EVERYONE around you benefits. There is nothing more important. If you havent got it already, download my FREE ebook to help you give yourself the care you deserve. (You’ll find it to the right of this post)
Love
Donna.x
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Why is Rest a Dirty Word?
June 9, 2009 by Donna
Filed under Blog posts
Tell me something: Why is it that we find it desirable to work so hard that we have no time for our family and friends? Why is it that we are impressed by people who are terribly busy? Why is it that our working lives are dominated by stress and tension and no one sees that as a bad thing? Why is resting, taking care of yourself, enjoying your life (without the mad, hectic lifestyle) seen as lazy, wrong or bad?
We were not put on this earth to ’see how much we could get done’. Well, you might have been, but I certainly was not. I was put here to ’see how much joy I could enjoy’, and this philosophy of ‘nose to the grindstone and never mind the consequences (ill health, stress, relationships)’ is in direct opposition to my purpose for being here. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to rest, chill, relax, have fun, take care of myself, and my to do list can wait til that mission is accomplished!
Love
Donna.x
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Stop Putting Yourself Down in Front of Me
May 28, 2009 by Donna
Filed under Blog posts
I put a little note in an e-mail to a friend the other day “Stop putting yourself down in front of me” – I was semi-kidding, as I’m quite self-deprecating myself, but there was also a serious element to it. Can you imagine if someone followed you round all day, telling you how much you sucked, how stupid, lazy, unattractive and ridiculous you are? How long would it take before you smacked them in the mouth?
Become aware of how much you put yourself down unconsciously – and how much other people do it too. Please do not berate yourself for doing it – it’s a habit we all fall into, and we’re not doing it to be mean, we’re doing it to motivate ourselves or protect ourselves or to help us reach another goal (eg calling us ‘fat’ when we reach for the chocolate and we’re supposed to be dieting!). Ultimately though, it’s not motivating, protective or helpful…so notice it in yourself and others and call it.
And don’t do it in front of me, or I will call you on it! (feel free to call me on it too!)
Love
Donna.x
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You Gotta Have Friends
May 14, 2009 by Donna
Filed under Blog posts
Among the many wonderful things about self-employment, there are a few things that totally suck. One is the fact that every day you have to pick yourself up to work – whether you feel good or bad, prosperous or broke, whether everything is going well or everything is going wrong, whether you have lots of clients or are wondering if the whole world left for another planet and no one told you. Every morning, day after day, you have to pick yourself up to do some work.
And no one else tells you what you need to be doing either. You can work for a week on something and then realise it doesn’t work and have to start again. You have moments where it is all coming together, and moments when it all falls apart. Days when you seem to meet ideal clients, business partners, mentors and new friends with ease, and days when you are so isolated you accost the postman for a chat.
There are times when this gets exhausting, and all you want to do is lay your head on the desk and weep. And at these times there are 2 things to remember: Number one, check your level of self-care – when you’re self-employed it is even more important that you take care of the engine, because if your engine breaks there’s no one else to step in. And Number two, you gotta have friends – remember they are there for you when you need them.
I recently had one of those days where everything looked immensely bleak, it was all very difficult and I was too exhausted to pick myself up and carry on. Luckily one of my friends called as I was in the middle of my stress, and the troops rallied round to help me. One friend offered me money, one offered me a facial, one offered me a big hug, one offered me a shoulder to (literally) cry on, and one told me that if I got in this state without calling her again, she’d beat me up!
See, you gotta have friends!
Love
Donna.x
PS thank you friends. Love you. xxx
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Stop or Your Body Will Stop You
March 4, 2009 by Donna
Filed under Donna's Life
What a wonderful week I am having – I’ve had a bad cold since Sunday. At first I tried to resist, tried to continue as normal (well, normal as you can when your eyes and nose are streaming more liquid than any one body could possibly hold). Then as the days have worn on, I finally decided to listen to the message my body was sending and rest. Ironically, just as I decided that, the universe sent me this message:
Haven’t I always shown up with the right idea, at the right time, to spin your head and rock your world, when you least expected it, Donna?
Give yourself this rest you’ve earned.
You’re my butterfly,
The Universe
Hmm…maybe next time I’ll listen earlier when my body is telling me to rest eh? Perhaps then I can have the chillaxing time without working my way through several boxes of tissues, paracetamol, vitamin c and kiwi fruits! Or maybe not. Well, whatever, I’m enjoying this rest now I’ve got used to the idea – lots of baths, essential oils, books, DVD’s, humour and my favourite thing – sleep!
Once upon a time my story of this week would have been an ‘it’s a terrible shame for me’ story…but this time, it’s a lucky me story. Lucky me that my body has insisted on a few days of relaxation. Lucky me that I can read books (when I can see), watch films, snooze, bathe. Lucky me that I have been able to clear my diary and take a few days off to give my body a chance to restore itself to it’s natural state of good health. Lucky me!
Joy be with you.
Love
Donna.x
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Ask Donna – Seeing In the New Year
Video
Making 2009 a GREAT year! Are you going to take the action required to make 2009 brilliant? What are you going to make this year about? What would you love to happen in 2009? What would you love to change about your life? What would make you look back in a year and go ‘WOW’? Don’t give up anything…make it about what you WANT!
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OnTheBeach – The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men
So, I went Christmas shopping and got my car written off. Hmm…not exactly the outcome I was planning for! Happily, no one was hurt…except my poor car. Interestingly, it brought about a couple of those days where nothing goes quite to plan – even the simplest thing like watching a DVD ended up being an utter performance. Things continued to go pear-shaped, one after another, until 3 days later I found myself yelling at the digibox. And it got me thinking…why is it that sometimes we cope really well with our best laid plans going awry, and sometimes we lose it over the silliest things?
It’s a topical subject to ponder too, because lots of us are a little more fraught and stressed in the lead up to the holiday season. A great example being the chap who was in such a rush to get shopping, he forgot to look to see if anything was behind him when he reversed. Like me. Sometimes it takes a ‘crash’ of some description to slow you down and make you pay attention to what’s happening in your life – whether it’s an illness, a car accident, or some other event that just stops you in your tracks.
The fact is that things change. Life does not follow our plan for it – how could it? There are so many variables that go into a life, so many other people to fit into our plan – how could it possibly go as we plan 100% of the time? Obviously if I was running the world, things would run precisely to my plan…and if you were running the world it would go to yours. As neither of us are (yet) Master of the Universe, we have to put up with the fact that things do go pear-shaped. Regularly.
Most of the time I’m fairly laid back about my best laid plans being turned upside down by the law of sod – after all, if there’s nothing I can do about it, why worry? But just occasionally small things pile up and up and up until I’m exploring the lower reaches of insanity. It is usually when I’ve let one thing slip…self care. You see, when I am being efficient and dealing with insurance companies, car dealers, wreckers (my poor car), I have no time to take care of myself. I’m too busy.
Then guess what happens? I feel worse, I get more and more tense and allow more and more little things to get to me. And before I know it I’m shouting at the digibox! And all because I’m ignoring the tension, ignoring the stress, ignoring that I feel like weeping pathetically. Ironically, if I actually took the time to listen to what my body and emotions had to say, I would be in much better shape to deal with what’s in front of me. Never mind those best laid plans, just get yourself in good shape, and all will go smoothly. And if it doesn’t, you’ll be in a much better place to deal with it!
Something to play with
Scan your body right now – how are you feeling? Are you tense? Where is your tension? What emotion are you feeling? What do you need from yourself right now to help yourself feel better? Even if you’re already feeling good, feeling better is a great thing to aim for!
Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.
A note from Donna
Well, one of my Christmas presents this year will be a new car! It’s funny how attached I can get to a ton of steel – when clearing her out today, I got very melancholy. And when someone mentioned a wreckers yard that would crush her, I was horrified. Still, it’s a good lesson in letting go of the old, and allowing the new to enter. An appropriate lesson as we see out the old year, and see in the new!
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Life Lessons
November 26, 2008 by Donna
Filed under Blog posts, Donna's Life
What lessons is life trying to teach you right now? Are you receptive to learning? For years, life tried to teach me self-care – I wouldn’t listen until hit with Chronic Fatigue. Now life is trying to teach me patience (I wish life luck with that one!!!), and at least I am willing to listen, and notice that this lesson comes back again and again. And do you know what? I think I’m getting there…
Love
Donna.x
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