What’s Wrong With Me

Why is it that the first place we go to when we’re upset, angry or ill is ‘what’s wrong with me’. I’ve had a few conversations over the bank holiday which went to the ‘wrong with me’ place. My friend was upset – ‘what’s wrong with me?’ You’re upset! There’s nothing ‘wrong’. I was angry – what’s wrong with me? Nothing. I was angry. I got over it! Another friend was feeling really exhausted – ‘what’s wrong with me?’ Nothing. She’s run down, tired and needs to chill out with a big bar of chocolate, a book and a bath. Once she’d done that over the weekend, the feeling of exhaustion went away.

As did the sense that something was ‘wrong’. What annoys me about this focus (and I do it too) is that it always puts us in the naughty chair. We’re angry, hurt, upset, feeling under the weather and we’re looking for ‘what’s wrong with me’. You know what? There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with you. You’re just human. Humans feel emotions. They feel hurt, jealousy, anger, embarrassment, sadness, tiredness. Humans (as a general rule) are not happy, skippy, bouncy every day. You know me, I’m a ‘joyful life’ coach – it’s all about enjoying your life for me.

But that doesn’t mean denying ‘negative’ emotions. That doesn’t mean putting yourself in the naughty corner for feeling how you feel. Ironically, living joyfully means living fully with your experience. It is very hard to be joyful when you have unacknowledged anger or sadness. It is difficult to be joyous when you are exhausted. But there is nothing ‘wrong’ with you when you get cross, when you are sad, when you are tired. You’re just cross, or sad, or tired. Not defective. So do me a favour and quit asking ‘what’s wrong with me’ because the truth is that you are beautiful, wonderful, fabulous, amazing, a unique, brightly shining star…and you’re allowed to be HUMAN!

Love

Donna.x

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Mastery is Not About Perfection

Following my blog post yesterday about success, someone sent me this quote: “We fail to realize that mastery is not about perfection. It’s about a process, a journey. The master is the one who stays on the path day after day, year after year. The master is the one who is willing to try, and fail, and try again, for as long as he or she lives.”
~ George Leonard from Mastery

Have you realised that this is what mastery is? Have you realised yet that to get top marks in this life, all you need to do is show up and do your best (and you are always doing your best, even when you believe otherwise)? Imagine how much easier life would be if you allowed yourself the liberty of trying, failing, and staying on the path… I wonder when we got so mixed up that we believed we had to be perfect to master something?

Give yourself a break from being ‘perfect’ today and allow yourself to try, fail, and stay on the path.

Love

Donna.x

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Your Imperfections are So Beautiful

There is a song by British indie band The Tears – here’s a snippet of the lyric:
“Your imperfections are so beautiful
I can’t control my animal soul
Your imperfection has got me on a chain
Can’t concentrate
I’m a sucker for your beautiful mistakes
…
Your imperfections make you what you are
My defective star
My inelegant love”

I love the whole thing. I always resonate so much more with people who allow themselves to be vulnerable, to be real, to be perfectly imperfect…to be HUMAN! My old coach used to say to me, whenever I admitted an imperfection “OHMIGOD YOU’RE HUMAN?!?!?!?” Lol. Yes we are. Human. Allowed to be rubbish! Allowed to have a bad day. And our imperfections make us who we are…

Part of our unique essence comes from our imperfections, just as part comes from our gifts. One without the other is wierd. I personally don’t know any perfect people. I know some people who try to be perfect, and deny or suppress or hide their imperfections. I’ve done it myself at times. And it is painful. Because when you start denying parts of you, it is like cutting off a limb. And why? To appear perfect?

You ask me, flaws are more perfect. Because they are real. Don’t worry about being ‘perfect’. Instead focus on being YOU. All of you. Imperfections and all. Authentic, real…and therefore attractive, magnetic, beautiful, a shining star. And while you’re at it, why not look for the wonderful in the flawed. For example, I am lazy…which means I get to read lots of good books and sit in the garden in the sunshine a lot. This is a good thing! I am also quite a grump at times…which means that I rarely get taken for a mug because I’m just too arsey!!

I could tell you for HOURS what imperfections I have and why they’re great (I’m stubborn as a mule, which make me persistent; I’m really flaky at times, which makes me multi-passionate and creative; I eat too much junk food, which gives me lots of padding for winter!) but I won’t go on about how perfectly imperfect I am! I want to hear about you. What beautiful imperfections do you have…and what is GOOD about them?

Share your thoughts, leave me a comment or contact me through the website and let me know, and if you’re not sure what is good about YOUR imperfection, share it anyway!

Love

Donna.x
PS Did you take my survey yet? If not, and you have 5 minutes, please Click here to take survey. Thanks a million my lovely. xxx

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Are We Put on Earth To Be Perfect?

To reward myself for (finally) completing my tax return, I went to the pictures yesterday to see Surrogates with Bruce Willis. The gist is that the world use surrogates that they control with their mind, so they never have to go anywhere…and they can be perfect in every way. The sad thing is that if this technology really were available, many of us would probably using it.

Imagine it – a world with no pain, no disease, no imperfection, no individuality, no life, no passion, no joy, no fun, okay, I can feel myself going into a rant so I’ll stop there. You see if we were all the same, all perfect, all homogenised it would suck all the life out of, well, LIFE! Are we put on this earth to be perfect? I don’t believe so.

I won’t be on my death bed thinking I should have had more botox or worn more makeup or been more like everyone else. I shall be there appreciating that I LIVED my life – that I laughed a lot, had a lot of fun and enjoyed the journey, spots, wobbly bits, imperfections and all. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to LIVE your life – to enjoy it to the fullest, to have the most fun you can have, and to laugh a LOT more. Oh, and for the A-level standard: embrace those imperfections – they’re what make us human.

Love

Donna.x

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Practically Perfect In Every Way

As usual, the Bank Holiday brought with it rubbish TV. My favourite by far was one of these dreadful and pointless 100 greatest lists. It was the 100 greatest family films of all time. And I realised that this is my favourite genre by far! I watched most of the top 40 with a cheesy grin – I own most of them, the Jungle Book, Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribean etc. In fact, of the ones I saw on the list, there was only one I hadn’t seen. Edward Scissorhands. Most remiss of me!

Anyway, somewhere near the top was the genius of Mary Poppins…which got me thinking about being practically perfect in every way. Is this an ideal that you are trying to live up to? Perhaps not to be Mary Poppins, but to be the perfect businesswoman/man, the perfect mom/dad, the perfect person – with the best social life, best job, best car, best tv, best friends, best body? The truth is that practically perfect people don’t exist and the sooner you realise that perfection is an impossible idea, the sooner you can get on with being imperfect and enjoying it!

Love

Donna.x
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