Find The Gift

When life throws you lemons, make lemonade (or tequila slammers, depending on your preference!). It’s an old cliche, but a good ‘un! Sometimes life throws stuff at you that sucks, situations that are painful, people who are prats (!), shocks and awful news. That’s life. Last week I talked about playing the best you can with the hand you’re dealt. But there is more you can do. You can actively seek the gift in the rubbish hand! Sticking with the card metaphor for a moment, a bad hand induces you to get much better at the game so you can still win! Getting great cards every time will not improve your skill, it’ll just be easier.

Not that one state is better than another. Great hand – cool! Shite hand – fabulous, I get to play better and winning will mean WAY more. Let’s take it to real life for a second. As you know, I have been given a diagnosis on my health that I’m not overly impressed with. This has already brought me gifts. I have reconnected with some old friends I’d lost touch with. I have found that some friends are FABULOUS at dealing with this kind of thing…and the friendship is stronger for it. I am actively seeking ways to improve my energy and my health, and I’ve already noticed I’m less keen to eat empty sugary things (most unlike me!).

I have been given gifts, including chocolate (my favourite) and several programs from one of my mentors/teachers Carole Dore – this package had me beaming from ear to ear with joy and I am already feeling the benefits of the first 2 products I’ve used. I have been gentler with myself. I have been more aware of my energy, how I feel, and I’ve been following that energy. I’ve received ideas, telephone numbers, potentially helpful information. Wow. Looking at it like that, I’ve already received so much…and I only found out 2 weeks ago. Just imagine what other good stuff could come my way?!

Just imagine for a moment, that this diagnosis is FOR me. That it is something that will lead to good stuff. It is said that often your greatest pain can be your greatest teacher AND your greatest gift. Now of course, I’d rather just take the easy life, thanks…but that’s not an option. Imagine for a moment that my life will get better as a result of my diagnosis. Just like it did when I had throat infections – made me give up smoking which made me feel lots better, not just getting rid of the throat infection. Just as it did when my liver stopped processing booze – which made me drastically cut down on drink (from probably an average of 10 units a day to an average of 1 a week!). Not only was I less often hungover, I had more energy, I was less depressed (didn’t realise drink made me down until I stopped), I felt clearer and happier, and my social life is better. And I spend less!

Now let’s imagine that something that you are not happy about is also a gift to you. It’s something that will ultimately make your life better. Start looking for the gifts. It is usually much easier to see this stuff in hindsight, but if you can detach a little from the pain/discomfort/upset/anger and look for the gift, you can move through the situation more easily. You will be less rocked by the inevitable lemons, and much better able to cheerfully say “lemonade?” when someone asks what you’re doing with your horrid situation.

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A Choice

Here’s a choice for you:

You have a flat tyre.

You can either be pissed of and have a flat tyre, or you can be happy and have a flat tyre.

Either way, you still have a flat tyre.

Which will you choose? If you decide to choose to be pissed off, what will you do? For example, you could complain about it, tell yourself how blasted inconvenient it is in every way, pout, cry, you could even stamp your feet.

How about if you decide to be happy? What will you do then? for example, you could look for the funny side, you could smile (or even beam), you could take the opportunity to show your skills at changing tyres, you could call a good friend to help and spend time with them laughing, you could flirt with the guy at the garage, you could experience the kindness of strangers.

Either way, you still had a flat tyre, but one is more fun, more enjoyable, and allows you to be cheerful.

By the way, this applies to other things than flat tyres.

Love

Donna.x

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If You Chase, It Will Run

What are you chasing after in your life? Money? Success? Boys? Girls? Happiness? When you chase after anything, it runs away. Let’s take happiness as an example here – you don’t have to ‘find’ happiness or chase it. You can be it, right now. No matter what’s going on around you, you can be happy now.

Try this:
What has been the best thing about today (or what will be the best thing about today)?
What was the last thing that really made you laugh? (see tomorrow’s blog for my FAVOURITE joke of the decade – it’s GENIUS!!!)
Talk about something that makes you happy – cuddles with your kids, sunshine, great music, your dog’s joy at seeing you when you’ve been gone 3 minutes, friends, lie-ins, singing, dancing, starlight…

Stop chasing what you want, and start EXPERIENCING it now instead.

Love

Donna.x

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Video: When You Are Not Being Your Best Self

Your best self is that part of you that is joyful, fun, laid back, generous, loving, happy, cheerful, peaceful. When we feel bad, it is usually because we are not being our best self. It is not what is done to us that makes us feel bad, but what we are being in reaction to it. Take a look at your life – when you feel bad, are you being your best self?

www.youtube.com/donnaonthebeach

Love

Donna.x

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Put a Happy Face On It

I met up with a friend last night, and I was telling her the ‘woe is me’ tale of my life, when I realised that actually things weren’t that bad, and I was just whining about reality not conforming to my view of what is ‘right’ (it does that a lot!). The main ‘problem’ of course, was not reality, but me trying to force reality to be something it’s not. Expecting reality to be other than it is is the fastest way to drive yourself insane!

Once I realised that all is really well, and no one died, no one even felt ill, there was no big problem except my attitude, I started again and realised that I am a lot further on than I was last time we spoke, and all is still going in a forwards direction. It felt much better to put a happy face on it, and I was able to drop the vague discontent I had been feeling. The discontent in fact was because I was arguing with reality, not because there was a problem.

When something TERRIBLE happens, putting a happy face on it might not feel right or appropriate, but if you are just putting the worst possible spin on your life to enjoy a good moan, maybe putting a happy face on it will make it all better…surprisingly quickly!

Love

Donna.x

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FDA Approves Depressant Drug For …

Video: FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful. This made me chuckle this week – at last, there may be some help for the irrepressibly happy, bouncy, cheerfully annoying people. Lol. They also mention some natural remedies, so if you want to de-cheer yourself without the use of pharmaceuticals you can.

Love

Donna.x

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The Optimist’s Creed – Video

I have just loved this poem so much, that I wanted to record it on video so as well as reading it, you could listen to it. I am reading it to myself every day, and doing my best to keep these promises – they’re a great recipe for a good life!

The Optimist’s Creed by Christian D Larson.

Enjoy!

Love

Donna.x

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Feel Happy Now by Michael Neill

Feel Happy Now by Michael Neill is an easy to digest, fun book about…happiness. Michael gives very specific exercises to up your happiness quota – my favourite being ’swimming with the en-dolphins’!

This is a ridiculously easy exercise, which does not involve a trip to the sea, vast amounts of money or for you even to leave your chair to feel better.

If you are not as happy as you know you could be, check out this book and Feel Happy Now!

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Let’s Get Happy.

Don’t wait for the circumstances of your life to be ‘perfect’ before you’re happy, get happy now. How? By noticing the little stuff that makes you happy, and consciously enjoying yourself. So the next time you are in the bath, or enjoying a meal, or reading a book, or out with friends, notice your happy feelings and enjoy them!

Love

Donna.x

PS this tip first appeared in the BlissQuest newsletter – to sign up or to book a one-off session with me, go tohttp://www.blissquest.com/Donna_Higton.html

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