Rah Rah Rah!

Ever been of the opinion that enthusiastic people are quite irritating? You know, the sort who are always up and peppy – the jumpiest jumping bean of them all! I have made a startling and quite entertaining discovery over the past few years – it’s not so irritating when it is you that is the enthusiastic one! Hap Hap Hazah!

How’s your enthusiasm rating right now? Today? In general? I must admit that mine has fallen slightly flat over the last few weeks – I’m blaming female hormones – and I’ve been struggling to find the enthusiasm to get my admin done. I’d much rather be doing something else…only I haven’t had much enthusiasm for something else either. Sigh. And today, once TUT had reminded me of the fanfare that accompanies my every move, I could feel my enthusiasm returning.

Then I read something about doing what you do with enthusiasm and EUREKA! I am enthusiasm personified. Now apart from the fact that it is a GREAT word, what’s so good about enthusiasm? Well, several things – being enthusiastic feels great, you get more out of an experience you enthusiastically participate in, people notice enthusiasm, and enthusiasm is infectious.

Just in case you are wondering, the dictionary definition of enthusiasm is “ardent and lively interest or eagerness” – the definition alone is pepping me up even more. Get the pom-poms out! Ok, so maybe you are slightly less excitable than me about this, how do you summon this ardent and lively interest on a Wednesday afternoon? Well, firstly, think about what makes you enthusiastic – what is different when you are enthusiastic?

Do you clap excitedly, jump up and down, dance about the office (or is this all just me?!)? Are you a little more sedate in your enthusiasm? Do you look forward to things and enjoy being part of what you’re doing? Are you keen to get started and focused on what you’re doing? Do you smile and laugh more? Do you just feel a sense of ‘rightness’? Think of the enthusiasm of children and dogs – can you learn from them?

I’m not suggesting that you run around your office jumping up on people and licking their face (although if you did I would howl with laughter!). That might be a jump too far in enthusiasm for you. So what would bring it up just a notch? I encourage you this week to go about your business with as much enthusiasm as you can muster, and just see what fun it is to see the world through enthusiastic eyes.

Love

Donna.x

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More Fun to Life

Do you ever wake up in the morning and think “There must be more to life than this”? Back in the 90’s, I woke up almost every day with that thought. I wondered if this was ‘it’, if this was how life was going to work out – a seemingly endless slog of get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, at the weekend dance all night and sleep all day, seeing daylight only briefly and through bleary eyes. The hamster wheel had me and I was slowly drowning in a life that felt increasingly ‘too tight’. I desperately wanted life to be different, but I didn’t ‘do’ anything differently, I just carried on doing the same and complaining about it.

Until eventually I did something very different and went off travelling around Australia with a backpack and no plan. That was the start of ‘the change’. Since then my life has changed and I have changed in ways that make me almost unrecognisable from that unhappy lass 10+ years ago. But still, sometimes I wonder if there is more to life. Usually when I am busy focusing on the fact that I am not Mistress of the Universe (still working on it!), I am not living in a million pound mansion overlooking the ocean (yet) and I am not with the man of my dreams (haven’t met him yet).

When we’re busy focusing on what is NOT in our life, our attention is taken away from the wonderful things that are here now. Not material possessions or even people, but our own internal brilliance. Our ability to be fascinated by life, to find joy in the smallest of things, to dream of better and to TAKE ACTION towards that ‘better’. When we’re too busy focusing on how much life sucks, we’re wasting time that could be spent improving said life. I’d been in quite a funk for a few days, but one conversation with a friend which was filled with laughter and suddenly I saw the light!

It’s not about having everything in your life arranged perfectly, being Mistress of the Universe with the perfect house and perfect man. When that’s what you’re focusing on, there IS MUCH more to life! Because those things are fun, and nice, but they’re really quite irrelevant! What is important? Your energy, your connection to life, your joy, your love, your peace, your laughter. That inner well of magnificence and brilliance that no amount of shit in your life can completely bury. Your spirit, your soul, your light.

Because we can’t buy them or count them, we relegate their importance below a flat screen tv. And that’s the mistake. Because they are the ‘more to life’ you’re looking for. It’s only when we’re not enjoying life that we think ‘there must be more’ (let me know if you ever thought there was more to life while you were having a great time!) And most of the time, that desire for more takes us on a search for ’something else’ – a new job/relationship/pair of shoes/holiday/challenge. There’s nothing wrong with this as such. It’s just that there’s an easier, quicker, funner* way. Start enjoying your life right now – warts and all. Your light, laughter and love will draw you towards changes that no amount of negativity will ever reveal. And even if no changes come, there’ll be more FUN to your life!

Something to Play With

If you’re wondering if there’s more to life than ‘this’, find a way to get enjoying your life – do things you love, spend time with people who make you laugh, listen to your soul sing and dance to the tune. Leave me a comment and let me know what you’re going to be doing to bring more fun to your life.

Love, life and laughter

Donna.x
*Dear dictionary, funner is a word. Honest.
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Fall Down 100 Times, Get Up 101

Thank you so much for your response to my newsletter article last week – I was so pleased to have encouraged and inspired you to Give Blood (or to hassle your friends and family to do so! I’m not fussy, as long as someone gives.) I actually got a lovely letter from the Blood Donation Service thanking me for my efforts, with a certificate to prove my 17 donations. It will take pride of place. It was a really nice touch for them to say thank you, and I had to laugh because they said ‘being an ambassador is just as helpful to us’ – by the time I received that I’d already heckled my friends on Facebook, twitter, my blog and in this newsletter – I was way ahead of them!

The end of the week saw me slapped down by life, really falling hard on my backside, and the Japanese proverb “Fall down 100 times, get up 101″ came very strongly to mind! So for this week I have pulled out this article from 2007 – just as relevant now. Enjoy!

- Fall Down 100 Times Get Up 101 -

When will I ‘get it’? When will I learn? When will I feel like I know what I’m doing in this game of life? Ever asked yourself these questions, or something similar? Welcome to the club! Would it surprise you to hear that the most self-possessed, successful, confident people ask themselves these questions? Would it surprise you to hear that you are not alone in feeling like you don’t know what you’re doing?

Of course, if you do know what you’re doing, in every area of your life, and you are the perfect person who never feels wrong-footed, or out of your depth, or confused. Congratulations…I don’t believe in you, but congratulations anyway! See, I don’t believe that ‘the perfect person’ exists. The only people I’ve ever met who are ‘totally together’ are not very together when you scratch the surface just a little!

Remember when you were little? How did you learn to walk? By falling on your bum 100 times and getting back up again 101 times. (or 1000 and 1001!) How did you learn to talk? By getting it wrong a lot! Spend some time with a toddler if you don’t remember – only mom’s understand toddler-speak…but somehow they learn to get the right words, then sentences, then before you know it they can speak perfectly.

There is a funny (to me!) belief that when we leave school we stop learning. Once we reach 21, we should know everything there is to know about the world. By 30, we should definitely have a handle on this ‘living’ stuff and get everything right, all the time. And past 30? The Perfect Person. Master (or Mistress) of the Universe.

Sadly it’s not so! We keep learning. Every day. We’re doing our best to live our lives every day, and we learn to do things a bit better every day. The problem comes when your expectations of yourself don’t allow you learning time. Imagine if as a toddler you gave up after you first fell on your arse? You’d still be crawling. Being willing to learn means being willing to get it wrong…that’s the way you learn. Fall down 100 times, get up 101.

- Something to Play With -

Where in life are you still learning? Are you enjoying that learning process or giving yourself a hard time for not being perfect instantly? What would change if you allowed yourself to just enjoy being a beginner? Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave a comment below.

Love

Donna.x

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Do Something Amazing

Well, I am feeling quite sad and disappointed today. I found out that while I am under the care of my neurologist, I can’t give blood. If you don’t donate blood, you might believe that is a good thing – but if you do donate, you will understand why I’m upset. I have to admit, before I started donating, I didn’t understand why anyone would want to. Needles? Uck. Blood? Ick. Biscuits as a ‘reward’? You’re kidding me! But once I’d been just a few times I got it. You are spending half an hour of your time (the taking blood bit takes less than 10 minutes) to potentially save a life. I started donating because a colleague’s son had a motorbike accident where he lost a leg…and he needed lots of blood to keep him alive. So she talked me into going.

I’ve now given 17 times. I intended to give 100 times (I only needed another 20 years or so to do it! Lol). But I have been cut short in my prime. Although, you know me – I haven’t given up. My diagnosis may change, the rules may change, I may move to a place with less strict rules! And if I can, I’ll give again. For now, I am reduced to badgering other people to give! So why should you give blood? Because the life you save could be your child’s, your spouse, your best friend, your parent, your sibling. Donating your blood could save a life. That’s it. That’s the reason. And it’s so easy. So please, if you can give, do it. In the UK, go to www.blood.co.uk to find your local donation session. In the US, I believe it’s the Red Cross. And if you’re like me and you can’t give, please spread this message and ask your friends and family to give. The life THEY save could be yours.

- Do Something Amazing -

Ok, giving blood might not be for you (although I hope you will try it before deciding it’s not for you!), but there is another point to be made here – giving feels amazing! Everyone I know who gives or has given blood regularly wouldn’t think of missing a session unless they had to. Everyone I know who has ever volunteered got as much out of it as the people they were helping. If not more. Jack Canfield tells the story of a client who called him in despair, not able to see a way forward. Jack asked him if there was anything he could think of that he could do for someone else, and stayed on the line while his client went off and did his good deed. When he came back, the dark cloud was lifted.

Sometimes life gets on top of us so much that we forget how to give – our time, our money, our love, our friendship, our expertise. We are too busy moving from day to day, getting what we can from others and from life itself. And we forget to serve, to make the world a better place just by being in it. The irony of this is that when you are able to help someone else, you are helped too. When you give with a generous and open heart, it comes back to you. And it just plain feels good to give! The biscuit you are rewarded with in the UK for giving blood is not your reward for doing so – it’s actually just to get your blood sugar level back up – your reward is that you’ve done something amazing.

Now there is a huge difference between doing something amazing, and being a martyr! Note that I said “when you give with a generous and open heart it comes back to you”. Not when you give from a place of ‘having to’, feeling like you ’should’ or out of obligation. Giving with a generous and open heart (or vein!) is wonderful. Giving to gain is not. Being taken from is not. Giving because you want to do something good (and therefore feel good) and giving from a place of service is one of my favourite things! Yes, I know that pretty much everything I enjoy is my favourite thing. Lol.

That is why I am so upset to have been stopped from giving blood. I don’t get to save lives that often! And now the one way I did (maybe) is (hopefully temporarily) closed. But of course there are other ways I can serve – giving away content on my website, facebook, twitter is one way I can serve. Helping people who need help is another. Badgering friends, family and everyone I’m connected to on Facebook to give blood is another! And perhaps encouraging you to look around and see what you can give with an open and generous heart is another?

- Something to Play With -

What can you give? Who can you help today? It could be a charity, a friend, a neighbour, a total stranger who needs blood (sorry, I’m relentless!), you could give time, money, expertise, friendship, mentoring, laughter. Remember to give with an open heart and notice how much fun it is to give (don’t be attached to a ‘thank you’ though – get the good feeling from doing the good deed, not being acknowledged for it. Acknowledgement is nice but it’s not the point). Please let me know what you do, especially if you decide to give blood – it will make me feel lots better! Leave me a comment here or pop over to the facebook page and leave a comment there.

Love

Donna.x

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Financial Integrity

Well, my office revamp is still not finished – I am still searching through boxes in the garage every five minutes for things I need (that I genuinely thought I wouldn’t need for weeks…). However, one more weekend should see it done. All the materials are in place, all I need is a couple of handy, strong people (I am not very practical and I have spaghetti arms!) and we’ll be rocking and rolling. I can’t wait! This should mean that I have a lovely space from which to coach new and fabulous clients. I have 2 one to one spaces available starting in August. So, if you have been thinking about getting some one to one help to get you living the life you were born to live, get in touch now.

This week’s article is an excerpt from my ebook – “110 Steps to Heal your Money” – to buy it, Click Here – it is available in various formats for your e-readers, palm pilots or computers.

- Financial Integrity -

How is your financial integrity? Do you owe money? Do you cheat? Steal? Perhaps not in a ‘Great Train Robbery’ way, but financial integrity runs through your whole life, so even pinching a bic biro from work counts here. I am not the police, and I don’t care if you steal the entire stationary cupboard, or I wouldn’t, except that I know that being out of integrity hurts your financial health.

When you are out of integrity in any area of your life, there is worry, stress, fear, shame – and if that is being suppressed, you are putting a huge amount of energy into not feeling bad. Often, you don’t even realise the amount of bad feeling your energy is going into until you start getting back into integrity. Coaching clients often deny any bad feeling to do with past money stuff that is out of integrity but when they do this exercise, they invariably find something that has been mithering them, and when they take action, they feel 100 times better.

It really is true that the person transgressing suffers most. The good news is that once you take just one step in the direction of renewed integrity, all that bad feeling starts to be released and the energy which had gone into ignoring, suppressing and denying the bad feeling is freed.

Here are a few real life examples from myself and people I have worked with:
- not repaying a loan from your parents
- stealing pens from a shop when you were 15
- keeping quiet about an overpay or undercharge
- not paying a friend back for a gig ticket she paid for (even though she forgot about it)
- deferring payment of your student loan
- always being behind on the rent
- paying an employee too low a wage
- my-round-o-phobia (not standing your round in the pub)
- taking money from a boyfriend, even though he didn’t notice and could spare it
- a loan from a friend that was never repaid (and never asked for)

You’ll notice that in many of these examples, the other party didn’t notice or care…but it still felt out of integrity. My friend forgot about the gig ticket and never asked me for the money…but I remembered it regularly, and when I did this exercise it came up again…2 years later. A good rule of thumb for items that “might” be out of integrity is: if you still remember it, it’s still bothering you; therefore it is out of integrity for you.

- Something to Play With -

List anything that feels out of integrity for you. And start to put them right. If you can’t put it right immediately, find a way to get back in integrity – for example one of my clients gave a donation to a charity rather than repaying the company they felt out of integrity with. Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave a comment here.

Love

Donna.x
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Conscious Joyfulness

Well, the office revamp is still going on – today we put together a new wardrobe, which was going to finish off the revamp, give me some storage in there, and turn my office into a little dance studio too cos the doors are mirrored (I’m not a prima ballerina, I just always wanted a dance studio!). Anyway, the mirrored doors are the reason the office revamp is still in progress – 2 of them are broken. Sigh. Still, one was fine and Ikea were lovely and immediately agreed to replace them. So, next week I should have my new office completed! I hope. Meanwhile, I was talking to a client today and we were talking about Joy and being Joyful, which reminded me of this article: enJOY!

- Conscious Joyfulness -

The dictionary definition of joy is ‘a deep feeling or condition of happiness or contentment’. Sounds wonderful – I’ll have some of that! So, how often do you feel joyous? All day every day? Once a day? Once a week? Every now and again? I have a vague suspicion (I could be wrong) that it isn’t that often.

After all, we’re not programmed for joy are we? We’re programmed to be stressed, exhausted, busy and tense. So, we walk round scowling rather than smiling, we worry rather than getting excited, we are more serious than frivolous. Hmm. Which state would be more fun? Which state would be easier? Which state do we work on?

Interesting eh?! We’d enjoy life so much more if we worked on the state of joy, but most of us instead work on the state of stress! You may be frowning at me right now – why would you work on being stressed?! Make no mistake about it…every time you spend time on worry, anger, criticism, negative thoughts and actions you are working on your stress.

Perhaps not consciously, because if you were conscious of ‘working on your stress’, you would stop it. Here’s what we do: something upsets us or stresses us out. Then we worry at it like a dog with a bone. Then we talk about it with our friends, and every time we repeat the story (depending on the level of stress/worry/pain, anywhere between 5 times and 200 times) we relive the pain/stress/worry and charge it with a tremendous amount of energy and exercising our stress muscles so they get big and strong.

When I started thinking about this article, I realised that I too do not feel joyous 24/7, and I started looking for specific examples of things that brought me joy in the last week. A smiley moon, sunshine and starlight, catching up with friends, hearing about achievements and good stuff happening for people, connecting to a higher power, music, dancing, laughter, a good book, a new idea, a hot bubbly bath and a magazine, random acts of kindness, love, spending time with my family…the list goes on and on.

And do you know what I found very curious? I had barely noticed these fabulous things – I was far too busy worrying about something else altogether! Now, I’m going to spend more time working on joy, rather than stress. What about you?

- Something to Play With -

Spend 3-5 minutes brainstorming the things that make you joyful. Then decide to live a joyous life and consciously bring more joy into your life. For example, plan one joyous activity a day for the next week, and see what a difference it makes to your outlook. Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

Love

Donna.x

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What Do You Know That You Know

At the start of this year, I had lost a bit of my business mojo. I was tired, out of ideas and I needed a shot of life. One of my favourite coaches in the world, Sandy Grason, a lady who is funny, sassy and fabulous, was launching the latest season of her ‘Fabulous Formula’. It was very timely for me. Sandy combines inspirational coaching tools with very practical business building tips to give you back your mojo and rock your business. I adore her, and this week I recorded a testimonial for her because this program really did give me the shot of fabulous I was so looking for.

Sandy has a ‘Virtual Cocktail Party‘ on July 8th to talk about this next season of the Fabulous Formula – it’s free, and if you sign up, you will get some GREAT free content…and you will see the video I did! Sandy is also going to announce something big – to show she is ‘walking her talk’. If you’re curious, sign up for the party here. And because it’s all about The Fabulous Formula this week, I thought I’d share with you one of the tools I really liked from the program. It’s a really simple writing prompt that will connect you with your intuition, with what you know.

- What Do You Know That You Know -

Most of us have a lot of knowledge stored up inside us. We’ve lived a lot of life, we’ve been educated, we’ve educated ourselves in our interests in life. We may have read a lot of books, done a lot of programs, found mentors, watched a lot of tv and taken in a lot of information. But sometimes, this information overload causes us to intellectualise a little too much, to rely too much on logic, to think that other people have all the answers, to ignore what we ‘just know’. Sandy shared this journalling prompt with us on Fab U to help us get in touch with what we know. “I know that I know…” and just write. (for more journalling prompts, check out Sandy’s book ‘Journalution’).

I know that I know that the Fabulous Formula was a great investment in my business. Thanks to Sandy’s program, I got my mojo back, I got some wonderful support from the community she has set up, and I learned a TON – not just from the program, but from the way it was run, the way Sandy was authentic, fun, and faaaaaaaabulous! And now I get to do it again. Awesome.

I know that I know that the best way to get what you want in life is to fall wildly in love with your life, and have as much fun as you possibly can. Otherwise, what else is it all about? I know that I know that doing things the ‘other way’ makes no sense – ie going for goals and possessions so you can enjoy life. If you just start enjoying it where you are right now, you don’t waste any time ‘on the way’ to enjoying your life. I know that loving life is what most of us are seeking, and what all too often, we are missing because we are looking in all the wrong places.

I know that I know that happiness is not to be found in possessions, in apparent prestige, in the illusions and trappings of so-called wealth. Sure, those things are nice, but without joy and passion for life, they are meaningless and empty. I know that I know that our childlike essence is our most important asset. Our ability to be enthusiastic, joyful, loving, passionate, our capacity for laughter and silliness is more important to our enjoyment of life than any amount of logic, reasoning or common sense. I know that I know that laughter really is the best medicine, and joy is the oil that will keep your life running smoothly.

I know that I know that my mission in life is to help people to connect with their joy, their essence, their passion, their ability to fall in love with life wildly and without reservation. I know that I know. What do you know that you know?

- Something to Play With -

Write at the top of a piece of paper: “I know that I know”. Set a timer for 10 minutes and just write: what do you know that you know? I’d love to hear what your intuition is telling you. Leave a comment.

Love

Donna.x

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Bounce, Bounce

This week’s OnTheBeach Article – to receive it every Wednesday, sign up here.

I knew I had forgotten something yesterday! This newsletter totally slipped my mind. I was far more interested in the leaking pipe that’s wrecked my office carpet, and how to prevent any more damage being done. I was also a little pre-occupied by my fat percentage. I was at a HR conference yesterday, and they had a ‘health check’ – which included measuring your fat ratio. Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly delighted with the result! But, it did get me thinking. Firstly, I wonder if they take boobs into account? And secondly, what action I could take daily to get this percentage down to a healthy level.

The answer was simple and instantaneous – the mini trampoline that currently acts as an obstacle to dodge, fall over and generally get annoyed by in my office. Perhaps rather than just moving around it, I could use it. So my plan is 10 minutes a day, every day. Accompanied by the playlist I did to bounce to! Should be fun. Anyway, all that reminded me of the article I wrote when I first got my mini trampoline 5 years ago. Here it is, enjoy!

- Bounce, Bounce -

I am very excited this week. I have bought myself a mini-trampoline and I have been bouncing for Britain! The reason for the purchase was that I went to a gig a couple of months ago and was bouncing along to my favourite song. For a minute. Then I turned puce, got a stitch and could hardly breathe.

I was horrified. How unfit am I that I can’t even bounce for 3 minutes? Only a few years ago I could bounce for an entire set, never mind just one song. So, I decided on a mini-trampoline to improve my fitness so I can bounce with the 19 year-olds at the next gig. I am not without vanity you will notice.

The unexpected and delightful side-benefit of this purchase is that when I am bouncing, I access a state of absolute joyfulness and excitement and happiness and fun. This is due to the physical ‘memory’ of the festivals and gigs where I have been happily bouncing along to the music. (or in NLP-speak, an anchor)

This has been wonderful this week – not only have I been getting a great cardio workout, I also bounce off my mini-trampoline feeling fired up and ready to go. Woo hoo! The benefit of this was proven today – I sat down to write this newsletter, and my mind went blank…then raced with disorganised chaotic thoughts…then went blank again.

After a couple of frustrating minutes, a ‘bouncy’ song came on the radio and up I got. 3 minutes of bouncing later (yes, I am up to song-length now…although I can’t sing along for more than a minute.) and I was inspired to write this newsletter. And I think it’s the fastest I have ever completed one. Amazing.

I discovered this anchor completely by accident, but if I had thought about it I would have found that I do feel fantastic after bouncing along to music at a gig…and maybe I would have found a way to do it daily at home. What about you? What makes you feel bouncy? Think back to the times you felt fired up and motivated and excited – what made you feel that way?

Now figure out how you can get that essence into your daily life and let’s get bouncin!

- Something to Play With -

Think about the things that make you bouncy, excited, fired up, motivated, fun, happy. What can you do daily to access that state of fabulous joyfulness? Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment.

Love

Donna.x

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The Best For You

This week’s OnTheBeach Article – to receive it every Wednesday, sign up here.

Something I come across often in clients is that we expect the best from ourselves, but rarely give ourselves the best. There is some kind of paradox that says we should be superwoman …yet we don’t deserve to be given the very best – by others or by ourselves.

I’d say that we treat our cars better than we treat ourselves. We will service and MOT our cars regularly, but how often do we do the same for ourselves? We make sure the car has enough fuel for the journey, but often do we run on empty? Ok, we ‘have to’ with the car or it’ll break down…but don’t you think the same might happen to you?

I am all for people wanting the best from themselves. What I don’t understand is why these same people don’t want the best for themselves. Ask yourself right now – do you deserve the very best? And if the answer is not a resounding yes, why not?

Let me just be clear here, I am not talking about decking yourself out with Prada, Cartier and Versace. I am talking about giving yourself the best care and attention you can give. Good food, good rest, kindness, support, mental, emotional and physical fitness, having the best team around you.

Being the best you can be requires you to have 100% self worth – believing that you deserve to have the very best too. Picture it – you have someone with enormous potential (You), and you give that person the best fuel, rest and encouragement you can. Wow. Imagine how far that person (You) can go!

Alternatively, you can use the current model of motivation favoured by many in society by pushing this person hard, giving them no rest, poor quality food and poison for fuel, whipping them and demanding the best from them without giving anything in return. Sheesh, sounds like the workhouse to me.

If you really want the best from yourself, determine right now to get the best for yourself, and see how much difference it makes to feel supported by, valued by, and special to yourself.

- Something to Play With -

If you deserved the very best, what might be different in your life right now? What can you do this week to give yourself the best for you? Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

Love

Donna.x

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Wearing Your Stress as a Badge of Honour

I was speaking with a client this week about her work ethic and how this affected her stress levels. She told me that she wears her stress ‘like a badge of honour’. She is proud of how much stress she can take. She is rewarded for taking on more projects than one person can reasonably handle, and her friends admire her for being able to handle her stress.

Sounds great, right? There is only one minor problem – she hates the pressure and it is making her ill. Ah. Suddenly it’s not so great being superwoman – the expectations people have of her (including her own) are too high, and too demanding. Fortunately she is coming to realise that this is not the way it has to be. I know she’s not alone in this. I did something similar in a previous life – taking on too much and feeling important because I had so much ‘on’.

Do you ever feel the same? It’s a sad situation when people are rewarded for how quickly they can grind themselves into the ground, how busy they are, and how little they are enjoying their life. In these days of being able to ‘have it all’ it seems that we prefer the fiction that an overfull life is great over the fact that an overfull life makes you ill.

In case you’re unsure, let me make my position on this perfectly clear – stress is not something to be proud of. I do not admire stressed people. I admire happy, balanced, successful people. Success is not (to me) working an 80 hour week, and being available by mobile phone at 4am on your holiday. Success is not running from social engagement to social engagement being unable to enjoy any of them because you are too tired and too busy thinking about everything you have to do.

I would much rather say ‘I am loving life’ this year than ‘I had a nervous breakdown’. Wearing your stress like a badge of honour is dangerous to your health. Because of the harmful effects of stress, companies are required by law to provide reasonable stress management measures for their staff. Personally, I think individuals need to provide reasonable de-stressing measures for themselves. And the first one to adopt is to treat stress appropriately.

Think about your relationship with stress – is it healthy? Do you use your stress to get you out of the way of a speeding bullet or as a signal that something needs to change. Or do you wear your stress like a badge of honour? How about a different badge of honour – be proud of how relaxed you are! Or is that too radical for the noughties?

- Something to Play With -

Treat stress as a warning sign that your life needs to change. Ask yourself (if you’re stressed) how you can simplify, what you can do to take extremely good care of yourself (make sure you have my free ebook for self care ideas), what you can do to relax and ENJOY your life to the full rather than fill your life to the brim and miss out on any fun! Want to share your thoughts on this article? Please leave a comment.

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