How Quick Are You Gonna Get Up?

I was just listening to ‘Ali in the Jungle’ by The Hours – here’s a snippet of the lyrics:

Everybody gets knocked down,
How quick are you gonna’ get up?

At the end of last week I had quite a significant knock down – one that left me feeling totally squooshed (like Thomas out of Tom and Jerry when he’s just been whacked with the broom!) Fortunately my friends helped me pick myself up off the floor and get (tentatively) back up again. Today when I was listening to this song, it seemed a very appropriate subject to share with you. Everybody gets knocked down. Everybody. It’s just one of them things. The important thing is how quick are you going to get back up?

This is not to say that you should get back up instantly. Oh no, take the time to hurt if you need to hurt, to hide if you need to hide, to cry if you need to cry. Be gentle with yourself when you’ve been knocked down. But once you’ve had some recovery time, get up. And keep going. You won’t be alone in being knocked down, and when you get up you’ll be stronger, wiser…and maybe it will even turn out that there’s a big silver lining in that there cloud. This knock-down might just have knocked me into the path of something very inspiring…we’ll see.

Love

Donna.x

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Do Something Amazing

Well, I am feeling quite sad and disappointed today. I found out that while I am under the care of my neurologist, I can’t give blood. If you don’t donate blood, you might believe that is a good thing – but if you do donate, you will understand why I’m upset. I have to admit, before I started donating, I didn’t understand why anyone would want to. Needles? Uck. Blood? Ick. Biscuits as a ‘reward’? You’re kidding me! But once I’d been just a few times I got it. You are spending half an hour of your time (the taking blood bit takes less than 10 minutes) to potentially save a life. I started donating because a colleague’s son had a motorbike accident where he lost a leg…and he needed lots of blood to keep him alive. So she talked me into going.

I’ve now given 17 times. I intended to give 100 times (I only needed another 20 years or so to do it! Lol). But I have been cut short in my prime. Although, you know me – I haven’t given up. My diagnosis may change, the rules may change, I may move to a place with less strict rules! And if I can, I’ll give again. For now, I am reduced to badgering other people to give! So why should you give blood? Because the life you save could be your child’s, your spouse, your best friend, your parent, your sibling. Donating your blood could save a life. That’s it. That’s the reason. And it’s so easy. So please, if you can give, do it. In the UK, go to www.blood.co.uk to find your local donation session. In the US, I believe it’s the Red Cross. And if you’re like me and you can’t give, please spread this message and ask your friends and family to give. The life THEY save could be yours.

- Do Something Amazing -

Ok, giving blood might not be for you (although I hope you will try it before deciding it’s not for you!), but there is another point to be made here – giving feels amazing! Everyone I know who gives or has given blood regularly wouldn’t think of missing a session unless they had to. Everyone I know who has ever volunteered got as much out of it as the people they were helping. If not more. Jack Canfield tells the story of a client who called him in despair, not able to see a way forward. Jack asked him if there was anything he could think of that he could do for someone else, and stayed on the line while his client went off and did his good deed. When he came back, the dark cloud was lifted.

Sometimes life gets on top of us so much that we forget how to give – our time, our money, our love, our friendship, our expertise. We are too busy moving from day to day, getting what we can from others and from life itself. And we forget to serve, to make the world a better place just by being in it. The irony of this is that when you are able to help someone else, you are helped too. When you give with a generous and open heart, it comes back to you. And it just plain feels good to give! The biscuit you are rewarded with in the UK for giving blood is not your reward for doing so – it’s actually just to get your blood sugar level back up – your reward is that you’ve done something amazing.

Now there is a huge difference between doing something amazing, and being a martyr! Note that I said “when you give with a generous and open heart it comes back to you”. Not when you give from a place of ‘having to’, feeling like you ’should’ or out of obligation. Giving with a generous and open heart (or vein!) is wonderful. Giving to gain is not. Being taken from is not. Giving because you want to do something good (and therefore feel good) and giving from a place of service is one of my favourite things! Yes, I know that pretty much everything I enjoy is my favourite thing. Lol.

That is why I am so upset to have been stopped from giving blood. I don’t get to save lives that often! And now the one way I did (maybe) is (hopefully temporarily) closed. But of course there are other ways I can serve – giving away content on my website, facebook, twitter is one way I can serve. Helping people who need help is another. Badgering friends, family and everyone I’m connected to on Facebook to give blood is another! And perhaps encouraging you to look around and see what you can give with an open and generous heart is another?

- Something to Play With -

What can you give? Who can you help today? It could be a charity, a friend, a neighbour, a total stranger who needs blood (sorry, I’m relentless!), you could give time, money, expertise, friendship, mentoring, laughter. Remember to give with an open heart and notice how much fun it is to give (don’t be attached to a ‘thank you’ though – get the good feeling from doing the good deed, not being acknowledged for it. Acknowledgement is nice but it’s not the point). Please let me know what you do, especially if you decide to give blood – it will make me feel lots better! Leave me a comment here or pop over to the facebook page and leave a comment there.

Love

Donna.x

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Climb Every Mountain

I went to see ‘The Sound of Music’ at the theatre over the weekend. It was fabulous of course, but the bit that really got my heart singing was “Climb Every Mountain”. Let me remind you of the lyrics:
“Climb every mountain, search high and low
Follow every by way, every path you know
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream

A dream that will need, all the love you can give
Everyday of your life, for as long as you live
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream

A dream that will need, all the love you can give
Everyday of your life, for as long as you live
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your… dream…”

Notice that it says EVERY mountain, EVERY rainbow. Not ford one or two streams, then give up. Too often we give up on our dreams, on ourselves because ‘it didn’t work out’, life got in the way, naysayers called us ‘unrealistic’ or it took more effort than we anticipated! If you want to follow your dream, it’s going to take time and effort, there will be obstacles – some in your own mind, some in other people, some practical and physical. Maria’s dream came true really quickly and relatively easily.

But most dreams take a little more time, and you do have to climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow…and as you journey you realise that climbing the mountain, fording the stream and following the rainbow are fun. Getting your dream at the end is the icing on the cake! (and of course, at that point, there will be a new dream to chase!) Give yourself, and your dreams a chance. Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow…

Love

Donna.x

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What Do You Know That You Know

At the start of this year, I had lost a bit of my business mojo. I was tired, out of ideas and I needed a shot of life. One of my favourite coaches in the world, Sandy Grason, a lady who is funny, sassy and fabulous, was launching the latest season of her ‘Fabulous Formula’. It was very timely for me. Sandy combines inspirational coaching tools with very practical business building tips to give you back your mojo and rock your business. I adore her, and this week I recorded a testimonial for her because this program really did give me the shot of fabulous I was so looking for.

Sandy has a ‘Virtual Cocktail Party‘ on July 8th to talk about this next season of the Fabulous Formula – it’s free, and if you sign up, you will get some GREAT free content…and you will see the video I did! Sandy is also going to announce something big – to show she is ‘walking her talk’. If you’re curious, sign up for the party here. And because it’s all about The Fabulous Formula this week, I thought I’d share with you one of the tools I really liked from the program. It’s a really simple writing prompt that will connect you with your intuition, with what you know.

- What Do You Know That You Know -

Most of us have a lot of knowledge stored up inside us. We’ve lived a lot of life, we’ve been educated, we’ve educated ourselves in our interests in life. We may have read a lot of books, done a lot of programs, found mentors, watched a lot of tv and taken in a lot of information. But sometimes, this information overload causes us to intellectualise a little too much, to rely too much on logic, to think that other people have all the answers, to ignore what we ‘just know’. Sandy shared this journalling prompt with us on Fab U to help us get in touch with what we know. “I know that I know…” and just write. (for more journalling prompts, check out Sandy’s book ‘Journalution’).

I know that I know that the Fabulous Formula was a great investment in my business. Thanks to Sandy’s program, I got my mojo back, I got some wonderful support from the community she has set up, and I learned a TON – not just from the program, but from the way it was run, the way Sandy was authentic, fun, and faaaaaaaabulous! And now I get to do it again. Awesome.

I know that I know that the best way to get what you want in life is to fall wildly in love with your life, and have as much fun as you possibly can. Otherwise, what else is it all about? I know that I know that doing things the ‘other way’ makes no sense – ie going for goals and possessions so you can enjoy life. If you just start enjoying it where you are right now, you don’t waste any time ‘on the way’ to enjoying your life. I know that loving life is what most of us are seeking, and what all too often, we are missing because we are looking in all the wrong places.

I know that I know that happiness is not to be found in possessions, in apparent prestige, in the illusions and trappings of so-called wealth. Sure, those things are nice, but without joy and passion for life, they are meaningless and empty. I know that I know that our childlike essence is our most important asset. Our ability to be enthusiastic, joyful, loving, passionate, our capacity for laughter and silliness is more important to our enjoyment of life than any amount of logic, reasoning or common sense. I know that I know that laughter really is the best medicine, and joy is the oil that will keep your life running smoothly.

I know that I know that my mission in life is to help people to connect with their joy, their essence, their passion, their ability to fall in love with life wildly and without reservation. I know that I know. What do you know that you know?

- Something to Play With -

Write at the top of a piece of paper: “I know that I know”. Set a timer for 10 minutes and just write: what do you know that you know? I’d love to hear what your intuition is telling you. Leave a comment.

Love

Donna.x

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Ooh, That Was Fun!

Yesterday I happened to be stuck in traffic on the M6. I was hot, I was hungry and I was moving at about 3 miles an hour. Plenty of reason to be peeved, eh? But then I looked across at a very angry chap in the outside lane who practically had steam coming out of his ears. He was obviously having a terrible time, and here’s the thing: we couldn’t change it. Being pissed off was not going to make it any easier (quite the opposite in fact), or get rid of the jam any faster. In his case, I suspect it took him closer to a coronary.

In my case, seeing his misery and anger jolted me out of my own irritation. I thought to myself “Right, I’m here. There’s nothing I can do about it, no helicopter is going to rescue me, so let’s make the most of this shall we?” I rolled down the windows, beamed at the blue sky and lovely hot sun, turned up the music and started to car dance. I like to think I cheered some people up – they were laughing at me anyway. I certainly had more fun than if I’d sat there fuming. And then I intensified the game, upped the ante, compounded the enjoyment.

How? I cheered wildly everytime I got into 3rd gear (twice). I beamed at the lovely sky, grinned at other cars, told myself I was in the fastest lane (and a lot of the time, I was – I went past the cross man 17 times), found things to appreciate, danced more and more, sang a little (I do have a bit of a sense of shame!), thanked God that my car doesn’t overheat, and thoroughly enjoyed myself in every way I could think of. And then, when I went past the police cars and ambulance I had a rampage of appreciation that I was safe and well.

Because those people in that car were having a way worse time than we were. I’d take stuck in a traffic jam over an appointment with Casualty any day. The moral of this story of course is that sometimes things happen that are not great, sometimes we’re stuck in a situation we don’t want to be in, but we have a choice as to how we deal with that. We can sit and fume, OR we can make it fun. And do you know what? In a bizarre way, I really enjoyed that trip home. Not so much that I’d want to do it again today, but ooh, that was fun!

Love

Donna.x

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Find The Gift

When life throws you lemons, make lemonade (or tequila slammers, depending on your preference!). It’s an old cliche, but a good ‘un! Sometimes life throws stuff at you that sucks, situations that are painful, people who are prats (!), shocks and awful news. That’s life. Last week I talked about playing the best you can with the hand you’re dealt. But there is more you can do. You can actively seek the gift in the rubbish hand! Sticking with the card metaphor for a moment, a bad hand induces you to get much better at the game so you can still win! Getting great cards every time will not improve your skill, it’ll just be easier.

Not that one state is better than another. Great hand – cool! Shite hand – fabulous, I get to play better and winning will mean WAY more. Let’s take it to real life for a second. As you know, I have been given a diagnosis on my health that I’m not overly impressed with. This has already brought me gifts. I have reconnected with some old friends I’d lost touch with. I have found that some friends are FABULOUS at dealing with this kind of thing…and the friendship is stronger for it. I am actively seeking ways to improve my energy and my health, and I’ve already noticed I’m less keen to eat empty sugary things (most unlike me!).

I have been given gifts, including chocolate (my favourite) and several programs from one of my mentors/teachers Carole Dore – this package had me beaming from ear to ear with joy and I am already feeling the benefits of the first 2 products I’ve used. I have been gentler with myself. I have been more aware of my energy, how I feel, and I’ve been following that energy. I’ve received ideas, telephone numbers, potentially helpful information. Wow. Looking at it like that, I’ve already received so much…and I only found out 2 weeks ago. Just imagine what other good stuff could come my way?!

Just imagine for a moment, that this diagnosis is FOR me. That it is something that will lead to good stuff. It is said that often your greatest pain can be your greatest teacher AND your greatest gift. Now of course, I’d rather just take the easy life, thanks…but that’s not an option. Imagine for a moment that my life will get better as a result of my diagnosis. Just like it did when I had throat infections – made me give up smoking which made me feel lots better, not just getting rid of the throat infection. Just as it did when my liver stopped processing booze – which made me drastically cut down on drink (from probably an average of 10 units a day to an average of 1 a week!). Not only was I less often hungover, I had more energy, I was less depressed (didn’t realise drink made me down until I stopped), I felt clearer and happier, and my social life is better. And I spend less!

Now let’s imagine that something that you are not happy about is also a gift to you. It’s something that will ultimately make your life better. Start looking for the gifts. It is usually much easier to see this stuff in hindsight, but if you can detach a little from the pain/discomfort/upset/anger and look for the gift, you can move through the situation more easily. You will be less rocked by the inevitable lemons, and much better able to cheerfully say “lemonade?” when someone asks what you’re doing with your horrid situation.

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Play The Hand You’re Dealt

This last week in the UK, we’ve been getting all politically excited with the election, the hung parliament, and the deals being done. Of course, I too have a political opinion. But mostly, I’m just going to play the hand I’m dealt. Whoever ‘got in’ as Prime Minister. Whoever has control of the government, I’ll just play the hand they deal me. This does not mean I am politically apathetic, but I am realistic.

This is all we CAN do. And I intend to play the game to the best of my ability with the cards they give me. Why the card metaphor? Well, many of you know that what cards you get is a matter of luck/fate/random chance, but the way you play is down to you. And putting this back into politics – the country have voted which deck to play, now we get to see what cards this deck will deal. And whatever cards they deal, we get to play our game.

This doesn’t just apply to politics, it applies to all life. I’ll be honest, health-wise, I’ve been dealt a hand that sucks right now…but I have every intention of flipping that diagnosis and playing a winning hand even with cards that suck. I’m going to play the game the best way I know how – and I intend to get better at the game so that I give myself a better chance of winning!

Health wise, this means changing some of my habits, bringing in some new habits and learning how to take better care of this body. That’s the serious side of it. But the card metaphor has another side – the fun side! It’s a game. I asked on my Facebook page last week “what if I was doing this just for fun?” What if we were ‘doing life’ just for fun? What if the whole purpose of life was to have a laugh?

Would that change how you played the game? Would it change your measures of success and importance? Would it change how you looked at your cards? Let’s face it, sometimes life does deal us a hand that appears to suck. For example, I’m finding it hard to see the positive side of my diagnosis (put it this way, I don’t have Chronic Fatigue). But if it’s just for fun, this diagnosis is just a card I have to play the best way I can…while having fun.

And this is just one of the cards I’m holding – the fact that I am completely fabulous might just make up for this one shit card! Lol. So what about you? Why not try this metaphor on for size? Don’t bemoan the hand you’re dealt, just play it. Play it with intelligence, learn the rules of the game, learn the cheats , and HAVE FUN!

Love

Donna.x

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If You Could Do It All Again

You may have seen this poem, it does the rounds on e-mail occasionally. This week, a friend sent it to me and I read it again and once again realised how wonderful a philosophy it is:

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.
I’d relax, I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.

I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles,
but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I’m one of those people who live
sensibly and sanely hour after hour,
day after day.

Oh, I’ve had my moments,
And if I had it to do over again,
I’d have more of them.
In fact, I’d try to have nothing else.
Just moments, one after another,
instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I’ve been one of those people who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat
and a parachute.
If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over,
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair,
85 years old.

Nadine Stair is attributed to have written this at age 85. Whatever age you are, look back and ask yourself – if you could do it all again, what would you do more?

I would laugh more, and worry less
I would not take notice of what ‘they’ may think, and instead notice what I think
I would enjoy all of it – the ‘bad’ times and the good
I would celebrate that I am doing my best in every moment

I would know that everything worked out in the end, even when it didn’t look like it was going to
I would live MY life, not try to fit in with the herd
I would do what I was passionate about
I would follow my intuition

I would enjoy my life anyway, even when business wasn’t good
Even when I was skint, even when the nights were long and the weather cold
Even when everything looked bleak, I would have some fun anyway
I would look in my own eyes more and say “You are WONDERFUL”

I would stay out of other people’s business and stay in my own
I would encourage more, cheerlead more, cheer up more – myself and others
I would endeavour to show the best of me at all times
And I would let myself off the hook when I failed dismally!

Wait. I can (and try to) do all these things now. And so can you. What would you do? Once you know, replace would with ‘will’ or am! For example “I will laugh more and worry less” or ” I am laughing more and worrying less”. Then live to YOUR own blueprint for life. My guess is that before we got here to earth, this is what we intended to do – laugh, enjoy, smell the flowers, dance…and then somehow we forgot! So don’t wait til ‘next time’. Do it now.

Love

Donna.x

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Magic Moments

I am currently sat in the sunshine, with my laptop on my lap, music playing and delighted to be alive and outside! In this moment, I am so loving working for myself. It’s a magic moment. And so far it’s lasted half the morning. Ok, I didn’t say this to brag, but to make a very serious point. Many of us let these magic moments slide by, barely noticing that it’s a wonderful thing to be alive. And this is such a waste.

An unpleasant moment on the other hand, we tend to stop to appreciate. Hmm, perhaps not appreciate, but certainly we stop to notice, and then most likely we will relive it a hundred more times by telling all and sundry about the rubbish thing that happened to us. Magic moments meanwhile, pass by unnoticed, uncelebrated, unappreciated. The irony is of course, that it’s the magic moments we live for – it’s the joy we crave.

So today, whenever something good happens, stop a moment to savor it. Perhaps you don’t have the chance to sit outside and work in the sunshine, but you will have some pleasant things happen today. And the more that you appreciate these magic moments, the more magic moments you will notice, and the more magic moments will happen. I promise you.

Let me know what magic moments you are having today.

Love

Donna.x

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Jazz Up Your To-Do List With Some Rewards

This week, my coach Sandy Grason gave me the homework to celebrate the baby steps – celebrate how much I’m getting done, celebrate how faabulous I am. Now, I’ll be honest with you – I am rubbish at this. I usually reward a job well done with more work to do. As you can imagine, this creates exhaustion, overwhelm and a forever sense of too much too do, too little time. Not to mention NO appreciation for my hard work.

So I thought about it, I thought about me, and knowing me as I do, I decided to find a way to incorporate this celebration into the day so I would actually do it. There’s no point leaving it til I finish work, as by then I’m ready to collapse in a heap and don’t have time for my treat. So I have a new “To-Do” list. For every item on that list, I have a ‘reward’, a celebration for having done it, for being fabulous, for achieving. Most of these rewards and celebrations are small…and some of them are things I would do anyway.

But it makes a difference when you intentionally reward yourself for a job well done. I even found myself doing a task I’d been procrastinating just to get the chocolate orange biscuit that was my reward! And I am working more efficiently too, because rather than going from task to task endlessly and getting less and less enthused, after each task completed, I have a little treat – I play a favourite song, I do something fun, I read a magazine for 5 minutes, I go outside and get some air for a couple of minutes, I play mah-jong or spider solitaire, I go on facebook, I sing…and so on.

These little rewards keep me pepped up and energised to move onto the next task. So why don’t you try jazzing up your to-do list with some rewards? If you work for someone else, you might have to think a bit more creatively, but this can still be done. Even rewarding yourself by taking a moment to stretch will help you keep your energy up. And this idea is so important because so many of us rush from task to task, never appreciating how much we get done, how much we achieve on a daily basis…and after a while, that just gets depressing!

So at work, and at home, reward yourself for jobs well done. Make a list of things you love and start using them to reward yourself. Make a star chart, like the kids get – why should they be the only ones getting stars?! Have some fun…and most of all, reward yourself for all the mini-steps you take throughout the day. You’re worth it. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this – leave me a comment and tell me how you are going to reward yourself!

Love

Donna.x

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