Ask Donna – Seeing In the New Year

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Making 2009 a GREAT year! Are you going to take the action required to make 2009 brilliant? What are you going to make this year about? What would you love to happen in 2009? What would you love to change about your life? What would make you look back in a year and go ‘WOW’? Don’t give up anything…make it about what you WANT!

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Stand Out Moments of 2008

What were your Stand Out Moments of 2008? What is the event that sticks out in your mind? What film got your attention this year? What song have you not been able to get out of your head this year?

My stand out moment has to be at the V festival. Standing ankle deep in mud, being rained on (in August), arms in the air singing along to Muse and completely oblivious to the rain, mud, cold (in August). “Best, you’ve got to be the best you’ve got to change the world and use this chance to be heard your time is now” What a moment.

The stand out film of the year for me was Mamma Mia! Yes, I know it’s cheesy, but I LOVED this film SO much. Despite thinking for the first 5 minutes that I was going to hate it, it is already up there in my top 5 films of all time – the ultimate chick flick, ultimate feel good film, and once again proving that Julie Walters is one of the greatest comic actresses around.

Stand out songs was a bit more problematic…there’s been a lot of good music this year (and a lot of “please God make it stop” music). I couldn’t pick one alone, so these are the 3 songs that literally stopped me in my tracks the first time I heard them: “Love is Noise” by the Verve; “Use Somebody” by Kings of Leon; and “One Day Like This” by Elbow.

I could now go on to the ‘worst’ list…but you know what? I much prefer to walk on the sunny side of the street! I’d love to hear what your stand out moments, songs and films were this year, so please leave me a comment and let me know!

Love

Donna.x

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2009: The Year of…

What will 2009 be the year of for you? What do you want to make the year about?

Some examples of what the year could be about:

The Year of Self-Care

The Year of Claiming Personal Power

The Year of Great Change

The Year of Laughter and Fun

The Year of Positive Action

I’ve had a theme for every year for the last 5 years, and it has really made a big difference to my life. The trick is not to just have the thought then never think of it again, but to do something every day towards your theme, and to remember your theme in everything you do. So if your theme is laughter and fun, and you are forcing yourself to do things that you don’t enjoy…you are not following your theme.

So, what’s your year going to be about in 2009? 2009 for me is going to be the year of service – giving as much as I can to others. Leave me a comment and let me know what your 2009 will be about.

Love

Donna.x

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MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS one and all!

I hope you are having a lovely day, that you got everything you asked Santa for, that you are having lots of fun, love and laughter. Remember today to appreciate all that you have – all of the presents, all of the love, all of the quality television (Doctor Who and Strictly Come Dancing – GET IN!) Gratitude is one of the most beautiful things, and the more you can appreciate what’s already in your life, the more you will enjoy all that you have.

Wishing you all the joy you can stand!

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

“Let your heart be light. From now on, our troubles will be out of sight.” So sang Judy Garland in 1944. 64 years later, can you imagine a Merry Little Christmas? Can you imagine your troubles being miles away? Or is Christmas going to be just another stressor on a long list of stressors? Many people I have spoken to in the last few days are at breaking point –enormously stressed out. The cold weather, the economy, the money worries, having so much to do and so little time has brought many of us to the point of screaming.

I must admit that losing a friend, losing a car, and trying to pack in 5 weeks work into 3 while Christmas shopping, car shopping and so on has made me slightly fraught too. My shoulders are up around my ears, I am even more short tempered than usual, and I’m not sleeping (which regular readers will know is a recipe for disaster). Thinking back on Christmas’s past, this stress usually lasts until Christmas Eve, at the point when I can do no more…and when the old movies come on the telly.

White Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life, Meet me in St Louis. Sigh. Even thinking about them makes my entire body sigh into a sofa-ready position. I love a feel-good film, it helps me to relax and enjoy my Christmas. I love the cheesiness of Christmas films, the light-heartedness that comes out of the telly and into me. I love that sense that Christmas is a little break for everyone. I love the hush that comes over the world on Christmas night, when everywhere is closed and most of us leave the freneticism of our normal lives behind just for a few hours.

Often that break is so desperately needed that we only let the relaxation in unconsciously. This year, why not decide to let your heart be light, and just for a few days, let your troubles go. You can pick them back up again in 2009 – it’s only a few days away now. We’ve all been waiting so long for Christmas (in the UK it’s been building up since August – insanely), why not decide right now to make damn sure you enjoy it as much as possible.

Once the decision is made to let go and enjoy your Christmas, make sure you back up your decision. Take a deep breath and say to yourself “I am going to have a Merry Little Christmas, my heart will be light and my troubles will be out of sight…and out of mind!” If your troubles come back to mind, tell them you will look at them again in the New Year, and that they should have a Merry Little Christmas too. You never know, you might even get used to having a light heart and decide to keep it into 2009.

Something to play with
If you were going to have a Merry Little Christmas, what would need to change this week? What can you do to ensure that your Christmas is Merry and your heart is light? Go, do it.

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

A note from Donna
Wishing each and every one of you a Very Merry Christmas, and all the luck, love and laughter you deserve in 2009! Thank you for being with me in 2008, and I look forward to continuing to entertain, inspire and provoke thought for you in 2009. This is the last OnTheBeach for this year, but do check into my blog if you get a chance over the festive period – there you will find little festive snippets, ideas on seeing out the old year and welcoming in a faaabulous New Year. See you next year!

Can I help you to make your life even more amazing in 2009? I have a very special festive offering for you, 20% off all coaching packages – to get more details, or to apply, go to Festive Offers. If the idea of getting some coaching appeals, don’t wait, places will be limited and the offer will expire in the New Year.

To receive the OnTheBeach newsletters directly into your inbox every week, go to the sign up page.

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Following Your Guidance

Often we don’t follow our guidance because we’re scared we’re wrong and it won’t work out. But ironically, even if we do follow our guidance and it doesn’t turn out as we expect, it still feels better than ignoring what we know. Trust yourself – follow your guidance, even when you’re wrong!

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

So, I went Christmas shopping and got my car written off. Hmm…not exactly the outcome I was planning for! Happily, no one was hurt…except my poor car. Interestingly, it brought about a couple of those days where nothing goes quite to plan – even the simplest thing like watching a DVD ended up being an utter performance. Things continued to go pear-shaped, one after another, until 3 days later I found myself yelling at the digibox. And it got me thinking…why is it that sometimes we cope really well with our best laid plans going awry, and sometimes we lose it over the silliest things?

It’s a topical subject to ponder too, because lots of us are a little more fraught and stressed in the lead up to the holiday season. A great example being the chap who was in such a rush to get shopping, he forgot to look to see if anything was behind him when he reversed. Like me. Sometimes it takes a ‘crash’ of some description to slow you down and make you pay attention to what’s happening in your life – whether it’s an illness, a car accident, or some other event that just stops you in your tracks.

The fact is that things change. Life does not follow our plan for it – how could it? There are so many variables that go into a life, so many other people to fit into our plan – how could it possibly go as we plan 100% of the time? Obviously if I was running the world, things would run precisely to my plan…and if you were running the world it would go to yours. As neither of us are (yet) Master of the Universe, we have to put up with the fact that things do go pear-shaped. Regularly.

Most of the time I’m fairly laid back about my best laid plans being turned upside down by the law of sod – after all, if there’s nothing I can do about it, why worry? But just occasionally small things pile up and up and up until I’m exploring the lower reaches of insanity. It is usually when I’ve let one thing slip…self care. You see, when I am being efficient and dealing with insurance companies, car dealers, wreckers (my poor car), I have no time to take care of myself. I’m too busy.

Then guess what happens? I feel worse, I get more and more tense and allow more and more little things to get to me. And before I know it I’m shouting at the digibox! And all because I’m ignoring the tension, ignoring the stress, ignoring that I feel like weeping pathetically. Ironically, if I actually took the time to listen to what my body and emotions had to say, I would be in much better shape to deal with what’s in front of me. Never mind those best laid plans, just get yourself in good shape, and all will go smoothly. And if it doesn’t, you’ll be in a much better place to deal with it!

Something to play with
Scan your body right now – how are you feeling? Are you tense? Where is your tension? What emotion are you feeling? What do you need from yourself right now to help yourself feel better? Even if you’re already feeling good, feeling better is a great thing to aim for!

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

A note from Donna
Well, one of my Christmas presents this year will be a new car! It’s funny how attached I can get to a ton of steel – when clearing her out today, I got very melancholy. And when someone mentioned a wreckers yard that would crush her, I was horrified. Still, it’s a good lesson in letting go of the old, and allowing the new to enter. An appropriate lesson as we see out the old year, and see in the new!

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Birthdays and Write offs!

So, the day before my birthday, someone mistakes my car for fresh air (I really must stop taking those invisibility pills!) and reverses into her, writing her off. My passenger said she thought I was going to cry when I saw the damage, but then I pulled myself together and asked for the guy’s details. (bless him, he was really shaken!) The interesting thing is that I was aware of the thoughts that made me want to cry, and then the ‘pull yourself together’ thoughts.

My first thoughts were “oh my god, look at the damage, the insurance company will write it off and I’ll get about £100!!! Shit. And it’s my birthday tomorrow. Happy sodding birthday to me. And it’s Christmas. And I’ve got no spare money at the moment to buy a new car. WhatamIgonnado” – you can see why I was starting to get tearful, yes?! The pull yourself together thoughts were “oh well, accidents happen. maybe my mechanic will be able to fix it. let’s get the details and get on with shopping!”

And there lies the difference between a terrible experience and a better experience – the thoughts you think about the event. Ultimately it’s not something I would have chosen, but it happened – and now I get to get a new car so it’s not all bad! (my mechanic can’t fix it – well, he could, but it wouldn’t be worth it!) So the next time something ‘bad’ happens to you, notice what thoughts you are thinking and whether they are leading you to despair or solutions…and perhaps you can consciously change the thoughts to make your experience better?

Love

Donna.x
PS and I had a nice birthday in the end, even though I was housebound without a car! Oh, and if you know anyone who’s selling a car, let me know!

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Pet Diaries – one for Dog or Cat owners

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary
* 8:00 am – Dog food! My favourite thing!
* 9:30 am – A car ride! My favourite thing!
* 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
* 10:30 am – Got stroked and petted! My favourite thing!
* 12:00 pm – Lunch! My favourite thing!
* 1:00 pm – Played in the garden! My favourite thing!
* 3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
* 5:00 pm – Chewed on a bone! My favourite thing!
* 7:00 pm – Got to play fetch! My favourite thing!
* 8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
* 11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped it’s headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.
Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

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Ask Donna – Finding Life Purpose

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