If Your Bladder is Full, Go To The Toilet

There’s a conversation I have with clients fairly often about seeing the signs and using them as a reminder.  Like when your bladder is full, you go to the toilet.  When your fuel guage is low, you go to the garage.  There is no bargaining with the bladder and the fuel tank…you might keep them waiting a little while, but at some point, you are going to have to heed the message and just go to the loo.

Stress, frustration, impatience, tiredness, lack of energy, irritation, lethargy and even procrastination are all the same.  They are a message to tell us to do something.  Only we put a different ‘meaning’ on them, or we ignore them altogether.  The alternate meaning we usually assign is along the lines of ‘I suck’.

“I’m procrastinating, therefore I’m a lazy, good for nothing, idle, useless git”

“Oh my god I’m stressed, I have so much to do, I just need to do 82 things at once.  I clearly need to give myself a kick up the ass”

“I’ve not done x, y, z, what is WRONG with me.  I must be a terrible person.”

“I’m not getting there fast enough, that means I am worthless and I can’t do it at all”

“I’m tired.  Never mind, more coffee.  I don’t have time to be tired, I’m far too busy and important (and by extension, I am not worthy of the attention and tlc I clearly need).  I slept for at least 3 hours last night, I am just being self-indulgent (and that’s a bad thing!)”

“oh my god what’s wrong with me I can’t get motivated today, I just want to go back to bed and throw the duvet over my head.  I am such a waste of space.”

Recognise any of those scripts?  You may have your own version of them – I encourage you to notice over the next week or two what your habitual response is to tiredness, procrastination, stress, low energy, frustration etc.  I would love to hear what it is, and I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark and suggest it’s not a positive, helpful response.  It’s probably going to be some form of self-deprecation or self-criticism.  And if it’s not, I congratulate you, you’re a rare bird!

For most of us, our habitual responses aren’t about reading the signs and acting upon them (bladder full = toilet; empty fuel guage = go fill up with fuel).  Instead we ignore them, try to push through them, get irritated with the sign itself, make it about the sign “i’m such a grouch”; “I always procrastinate”; “I am so frustrated with life”, instead of looking deeper and asking what that sign is showing you.

The full bladder shows you that you need to go to the bathroom.  The parched mouth shows you that you need water.  The empty fuel tank says you need fuel.  You don’t go around saying “I have such a full bladder, I have a terribly low capacity for fluid” (unless you have a very small bladder!)  You don’t say “I have such a dry mouth, I only drank last Thursday, I don’t understand why I’m thirsty AGAIN”.  You don’t consider your car lazy or self-indulgent for needing fuel once in a while.

They’re just signs that point you to very clear solutions.  As will your stress, impatience, procrastination, tiredness, low energy, irritation, lethargy and all the other signs you’re currently ignoring or not investigating.  The solutions may not be as simple as ‘drink water’, ‘go to the toilet’ or ‘fill with fuel’…but they also may well be that simple once you understand them.

Here’s my guide to my signs and solutions:

If I’m procrastinating, it’s most often because I’m not sure what EXACTLY to do, or I haven’t chosen a task.  It’s rarely because I’m a lazy git.  If you procrastinate, check this guide and find your most common ‘reason’ for procrastination…it’ll give you the solution too so next time you notice you’re procrastinating, you just go straight to that solution.  For me, I notice I’m procrastinating, I ask myself what I most need to do today and if I know EXACTLY what to do.  Then I go do it.  It’s amazingly simple, I wish I’d figured it out 10 years ago. 

If I’m frustrated or impatient, it’s usually because I am not doing something I need to do.  Usually working on the project I’m most excited by at the moment.  I am such a good little worker bee that I do all the ‘should’s first and run out of time to do the things I want to do.  Frustration and impatience tell me to get my finger out of my ass and take some action on the things that are really important to me!  I wrote more about this here.

If I’m stressed, I usually need to take a breath, step away from my desk and check if I’m trying to fit 8 years of work into 6 hours (almost always!).  After I’ve taken 5 minutes to meditate or dance, (hey, I’m stressed, an hour of mediation ain’t going to happen!) I cross the non-urgent stuff off my Would Like To Do list and pick ONE thing I really NEED to do that day.  Then I do that.  Then I go back to my Would Like To Do List and pick one more thing I really NEED to do.  And I do that.  Easy peasy, no stress.

If I’m tired, lethargic, or have low energy, these could mean one of a few things:  I need a snooze because I need sleep, I need a dance break because I need energy, I need an afternoon off (I took one on Monday, because I felt really lethargic and listless) because I need time out, I need some tlc.  It almost never means I need to ‘push on through and get on with stuff’ – that normally wastes more time not getting things done than stopping for a walk or to read my book or to have a dance around the office, or to go for a coffee with a friend.  I get that you can’t always just have a nap under your desk in the office (when I rule the world, you will be able to – power naps are the future), but there are always things you can do – stretch, chair dance, have a loo break and do star jumps in the bathroom…look for what you CAN do.

If I’m irritated, it’s a sign that either I need some self-care OR I have forgotten to take my Vitamin B6 and Evening Primrose.  I get really bad PMT…and if I don’t take my supplements, I’m exceedingly irritable and short-tempered!  My friends and family are so very glad that I’ve got better at reading this particular sign!

What about you?  What signs are you ignoring?   Where are you criticising yourself unfairly for something that is a symptom, not a cause?  Where are you pushing on regardless of your empty fuel tank and full bladder?  What are these things trying to tell you and show you?  What is the solution being pointed to?  Trust me, these are questions worth answering, because not only do you stop bitching at yourself, you also experience less frustration, stress, irritation and lethargy…maybe because you remember to take your pills, or maybe because you are doing what works.  If your bladder is full, go to the toilet!

Let me know what your signs tell you to do!

Love

Donna.x

PS This article is an excerpt from my fabulous book “Fall in Love With Life” – for more details and to buy, click here.