Q: I have been merrily taking action on my Big Dream for months now, and all of a sudden I seem to have got stuck. I can’t see any sign that what I’m doing is working and I’m wondering whether to bother keeping going? – Elaine

Sadly, for us impatient folks, things do take time. Often the people who succeed are not better or smarter or luckier…they are just more persistent! Stubborn-ness can be a good trait when you’re trying to achieve something difficult! I have always said that when I have done everything I can think of to make this work OR if I don’t want it anymore, I’ll stop. Otherwise I’ll keep on going. And one of my mentors, Carole Dore (http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1394969), says that if you were taking all the action that inspiration is showing you, you’d be too busy to notice that your Big Dream isn’t here yet!

So just keep going!

Love

Donna.x

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Photo Credit: Kakisky on Morguefile

The foundation of my coaching program is what I call the “3 Pillars” – self care, energy and joy. If you are cared for, full of energy and enjoying life, everything else is easier and falls more easily into place. Life flows more smoothly, creativity is easier to access, action is easier, inspiration flows through you. Everytime I have been struggling with life, either my self-care, energy or joy has been low. If I’m cared for, energised and enjoying life, bumps in the road don’t bother me as much.

Just in our normal lives, we need to be cared for, energised and enjoying life. When it comes to our Big Dreams, they demand even more from us – more energy, more time, more ‘stepping out of our comfort zone’, more growth, more connection, more life. (they also give a lot back, but that’s a different story) When you are following a Big Dream, that dream needs you to be in tip-top shape – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. If you’re not, it is harder to follow your path, and you will find yourself having to stop and refuel often.

Because I’ve had a virus in April, I had to practice Extreme Self-Care to get myself back to full fitness as quickly as possible (just going back to your normal routine as soon as you feel human again doesn’t work – I tried!). Extreme Self-Care simply means taking extremely good care of yourself – listening to your body and giving it what it needs; listening to your mind and giving it what it needs; listening to your heart and giving yourself the emotional care you need; listening to your soul and giving it what it needs to thrive. (For more about self-care, see my free ebook on the subject)

Energy is the second piece in the puzzle. Once you have your self-care sorted, you then need to energise yourself. Refuel, as it were. Without energy, how can you achieve your Big Dream? Without energy, how can you give your all to something that is outside your comfort zone? When you’ve got lots of energy (think Tigger!), you can bounce your way through and do everything you will need to do for your Big Dream. Many clients think this ’3 Pillars’ work is optional at first…until they notice the obvious link between lack of self-care, energy and joy and struggle in any area of life.

The last piece in the puzzle is JOY! Although it is the final piece, it is just as important as the other 2. And I have found over the years that clients will realise the importance of self-care and energy fairly quickly…but this joy piece takes more time to accept! Which does amuse me, because in my view, enjoying life is why we’re here! We’re having this life experience in order to experience the joys that can be found (even the joys in sorrow). Living a life filled with small joys is a beautiful experience. And for your Big Dream, it is Rocket Fuel! Imagine yourself as joyous – imagine how much you can get done in that energy of joy, imagine dancing through all the tasks you need to do to accomplish your Big Dream. Imagine being happy not because you’ve achieved your Dream, but just because you are enjoying life on the way to the next Big Dream…and the next!

The 3 together will make your life so much easier, and your Big Dream seem so much closer that you will wonder how you ever got anything done before! Once you have these strong foundations in place, you will find it easier to fly!

Your Homework

EVERY DAY ask yourself this:
How cared for am I feeling right now on a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘not at all’ and 10 is ‘cradled in the arms of love’. If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something to make yourself feel more cared for – do something that nourishes you.

If it is a 7 or more, ask yourself this:
How energetic am I feeling right now on a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘no energy’ and 10 is ‘I feel like Tigger, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy!’ If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something to raise your energy – do something fun, get out in nature, do something you love that raises your energy.

If it is a 7 or more, ask yourself this:
How much am I enjoying life right now a scale of 1-10, where one is ‘I’m not’ and 10 is ‘I am totally in love with my life’. If it is less than a 7, your only task is to do something fun, something you enjoy – this is your life. ENJOY it!

When all 3 are a 7 or above, then you will naturally get moving on your big dreams because you feel good, you have mental clarity, you are enjoying life, you have energy. Make feeling good a habit, and see yourself get more productive and efficient (as well as happier, healthier, more energetic!).

To push this even further – when you regularly get to a 7 in all areas, try for an 8 every day, then a 9 when that gets ‘easy’, then a perfect 10 when 9′s are ‘easy’.

I would love to hear how you get on with this challenge – simply reply to this e-mail to tell me about your thoughts, your experience, your self-care, your energy and your joy!

This article was taken from May’s Dreams to Reality newsletter – to sign up, click here.

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Your Big Dream lies outside your comfort zone…so do you need to leap out of your comfort zone, take big risks, jump out of the plane?? Or is there another way? I believe so…an easier way, a gentler way. Just nudge the edges of your comfort zone, put a toe outside your comfort zone and expand your comfort zone slowly and steadily. If you do this persistently, your comfort zone will get bigger, easily.

To listen to this week’s podcast, click here: Taking Risks And Your Big Dream
(or to download to your computer, right click on the link and ‘save link as’ or ‘save target as’)
Homework:
Identify something that is ‘just’ outside your comfort zone…and go do it! Go take little risks, and lots of them, and expand your comfort zone bit by bit.

You can also subscribe to this podcast on itunes here.

May all your dreams become reality.

Love

Donna.x

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Q: I’ve had a big knockback in my Big Dream. I am so disappointed, feel like everything I’ve worked towards is a waste and I feel like a total failure. – Alison

Please know that you’re not alone in this – many of us who follow a Big Dream get knockbacks, disappointments and hit roadblocks. Here’s my 3-step plan for you:
Step 1: Extreme self-care – here’s the link to the podcast about it: Extreme Self-care. The question you want to ask yourself is “What would I do today if I were taking extremely good care of myself?”
Step 2: Process your feelings. Safely. Gently…AFTER you’ve been taking extremely good to yourself. My 3 favourite ways are talking it through, writing about it and moving it through – by dancing or boxing or walking or running. Come over to http://www.facebook.com/donnaonthebeach to get a daily writing prompt.
Step 3: Get back in touch with your Big Dream, get back in touch with what you felt so passionate about. If your Big Dream is still important to you, don’t let the knock-back stop you.

Love

Donna.x

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jdurham at morguefile.com

And no one else tells you what you need to be doing either. You can work for a week on something and then realise it doesn’t work and have to start again. You have moments where it is all coming together, and moments when it all falls apart. Days when you seem to meet ideal clients, business partners, mentors and new friends with ease, and days when you are so isolated you accost the postman for a chat.

There are times when this gets exhausting, and all you want to do is lay your head on the desk and weep. And at these times there are 2 things to remember: Number one, check your level of self-care – when you’re self-employed it is even more important that you take care of the engine, because if your engine breaks there’s no one else to step in. And Number two, you gotta have friends – remember they are there for you when you need them.

I recently had one of those days where everything looked immensely bleak, it was all very difficult and I was too exhausted to pick myself up and carry on. Luckily one of my friends called as I was in the middle of my stress, and the troops rallied round to help me. One friend offered me help to get shit done, one offered me a facial, one offered me a big hug, one offered me a shoulder to (literally) cry on, and one told me that if I got in this state without calling her again, she’d beat me up!

See, you gotta have friends!

Love

Donna.x
PS thank you friends. Love you. xxx

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How many of us support ourselves fully, 100% of the time? Even when you’re gnarly or grumpy or lazy or procrastinating. Imagine how much easier life would be if you supported yourself 100%. Supporting yourself when you’re doing something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ is about figuring out what’s behind it all and helping yourself move forward anyway. Maybe you’re being ‘lazy’ because you need to rest? Maybe you’re procrastinating because there is a better way or a better time to do what you’re trying to do?

To listen to this week’s podcast, click here: Supporting Yourself and Your Big Dream
(or to download to your computer, right click on the link and ‘save link as’ or ‘save target as’)
Homework:
On a scale of 1-100, how much do you currently support yourself? Now move that up just a few points…what can you do to support yourself more?

You can also subscribe to this podcast on itunes here.

May all your dreams become reality.

Love

Donna.x

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Q: My Big Dream is to have a business that embraces all my passions – art, making fabric bags, writing, feng shui…but everyone keeps telling me to pick one and focus on it. I don’t want to, and when I do, I feel like I’m cheating on my Big Dream. – Andrea

Be the authority in your life. For many people, focusing on 1 thing is great advice, because they can give their all to that one thing without getting distracted…but for some of us that are multi-passionate it’s not using the best of us. If you feel like you can give more by focusing on all things at once, do it!

Here’s the link to Marie Forleo http://www.marieforleo.com – a very successful multi-passionate entrepreneur. Check her out, she’s great!

Find your ‘North’ and ‘not North’ – when you are following your inner knowing, you are heading to your ‘North’. Here’s the link to the blog post I wrote about listening to Mind, Body, Heart and Soul.

And yes, I did use the word ‘conspire’ out of context! I meant conform! Oopsie.

If you have a question you’d like me to answer, please leave a comment below, go to the contact page, come over to facebook or find me on twitter.

Love

Donna.x

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Q: I have been merrily taking action on my Big Dream for months now, and all of a sudden I seem to have got stuck. I can’t see any sign that what I’m doing is working and I’m wondering whether to bother keeping going? – Elaine

Sadly, for us impatient folks, things do take time. Often the people who succeed are not better or smarter or luckier…they are just more persistent! Stubborn-ness can be a good trait when you’re trying to achieve something difficult! I have always said that when I have done everything I can think of to make this work OR if I don’t want it anymore, I’ll stop. Otherwise I’ll keep on going. And one of my mentors, Carole Dore (http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1394969), says that if you were taking all the action that inspiration is showing you, you’d be too busy to notice that your Big Dream isn’t here yet!

So just keep going!

Love

Donna.x

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Comparing an apple and an orange leaves both apple and orange feeling somehow lacking. And when we compare ourselves to someone else, we seem to pick those people who are 8000 steps ahead of us, people who will really show up our inadequacies! When you see someone else you admire, look at what they are modelling for you – does it help you clarify your dream, does it inspire you to take action, does it help fuel your desire?

To listen to this week’s podcast, click here: Comparison and Your Big Dream
(or to download to your computer, right click on the link and ‘save link as’ or ‘save target as’)
Homework:
When someone else’s journey catches your attention, notice what it is that you are drawn to. Then allow those people to help your Big Dream move forward.

You can also subscribe to this podcast on itunes here.

May all your dreams become reality.

Love

Donna.x

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Over the past few years, I have re-discovered the joy of writing. Not just writing books, blog posts, courses (although that’s been fun!), but writing journals…diaries if you like. I wrote lots of diaries as a kid, I thought I was Adrian Mole. But then I got out of the habit of processing my thoughts and my life through writing…until a few years ago. Over the past 5 years, I have written more and more and more, in different types of journal, and rediscovered how powerful it is to write.

Last May I started a practice called ‘Morning Pages’. It is taken from Julia Cameron’s ‘The Artist’s Way’ and in its simplest form, it is 3 pages of longhand writing, about whatever pops into your mind – however petty, pointless and stupid (and sometimes profound, inspired and insightful). I have now been doing this practice every day for a year! Now, because I think the morning pages is a big commitment, I am not going to make the daily practice the Morning Pages (although I may do later in the year), but an easier practice to just WRITE every day. (Although if you want to join the practice of doing Morning Pages, go ahead!) I will be sharing a journalling prompt on my Facebook page every day to help you get started.

The March Daily Practice of Trusting Myself taught me how much wisdom I was holding inside…that I was completely oblivious of, because I wasn’t asking the right questions, and I wasn’t listening for the answers. This months’ practice will help you get even more in touch with the wisdom within – will you join me? Make it easy for yourself to join in – go and buy a notebook if you want to, but you can just write on the back of an envelope with a stubby pencil! And if you prefer, you can use technology to write. I like a pen and paper myself, but it’s your writing practice so do what works for you.

Today’s writing prompt: “I love…” Just finish that sentence, as many times as feels right for you. See where that prompt leads you today – you can write for a minute, 10 minutes, half an hour…whatever works for you. Start to become the authority in your own life with this writing practice! And please do come over to Facebook and share your insights, thoughts and feelings (and if you have any great writing prompts!)

Love

Donna.x

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