OnTheBeach – Don’t Let The B’s Grind You Down

My parents have a saying “Don’t let the b*stards grind you down” – and there are times when this is the most pertinent advice that can be given! Because this is exactly what happens if you’re not vigilant – years and years of criticism, minor annoyances and unsupportiveness can just grind down your good humour and confidence. Don’t let the b*stards grind you down.

How do you stop them??? Well, trying to stop anyone else doing anything is an exercise in futility! So here’s what you can do: don’t take it on. Don’t give away your power to someone else. Don’t allow other people to put you down. They can say the words, but if you don’t listen, those words have no power alone. Words can be like acid, corroding and eating away at you…but not if you don’t take it on.

Put it this way, if someone called you a blueberry, how much would you take that on board? How much would you allow that to hurt you? How much would you repeat it and keep hurting yourself with it? I am hoping you are saying ‘not at all’!! But if they call you ‘stupid’ or they criticise you or are unsupportive, that’s exactly what we do – we take it as gospel, we allow ourselves to be hurt by it, we repeat it to ourselves and others and pick the scab off the hurt so much that we are scarred by it.

Funnily enough, when we get a compliment, we don’t give that the same amount of energy and care! Interesting how we’re more prepared to think the worst of ourselves eh? Anyway, we’re talking about not letting the b*stards grind you down. Here’s what I do when faced with an insult, a criticism, an annoyance, “feedback”: I look at it objectively (once I’ve calmed down if it riled me!) and try to see their point of view. If they have a point, I take it as welcome help to improve – then I let it go. If they don’t, I just let it go.

Notice that I do get riled (oh my god, I’m HUMAN! Shock horror) – but I don’t give them the power to ruin my whole life! It is just a point of view, just a moment in time, just something given (often thoughtlessly). One person telling you that you are wrong does not make you wrong 100% of the time! So stop taking on this stuff – know yourself better, have confidence in yourself, and instead of repeating the bad stuff, repeat this like a mantra: I know that you are amazing, intelligent, worthy, wonderful and a really good laugh. Don’t let anyone tell you different!

- Something To Play With -

Notice what you do when someone annoys, criticises or insults you. Do you shrug it off and move on? Or do you chew over old soup until you make yourself sick on it?? For this week, experiment with only repeating to yourself the nice things people have said to you – keep chewing them over, you’ll find they taste a lot better!

Love

Donna.x

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What’s Your Big Dream?

The other day I read this blog post by Danielle LaPorte and it got me thinking.

What’s YOUR big dream?

What do you dream of happening in your life? What would you ask the ‘life fairy godmother’ to wave her magic wand and give you? If there were no limitations, what would you do? Do you want to write a book? Move to the beach? Make a million? Be 100% healthy? Start a business? Surf a huge wave? Be an artist? Make music? Dance? Live in a castle? Pay off your debts? Be on the stage? Swim with dolphins? Go to space? Have an animal farm? Eradicate poverty? Get educated? Fall in love with your life?

Whether your big dream will change your life or the whole world, I hope you are nurturing it, loving it and moving towards it…and I’d love to hear about it!

And don’t forget, this is what I do! I help people move their big dreams into reality, so if I can help you, get in touch!

Love

Donna.x

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Stop Looking At What You Ain’t Got

I had a vague thought in the back of my mind to write something about thankfulness and gratitude today, as it’s Thanksgiving in the States. Even though we don’t have that celebration here, I feel like I do…because I read lots of newsletters and blogs from folks in the states! So I’m absorbing Thanksgiving by osmosis. I also think it’s a cool idea for a day – “eat loads of food and say thank you for stuff” as one of my American friends describes it. Sounds like my kind of day!

Anyway, on the radio today T.I featuring Rhianna “Live your Life” has been playing, which starts “Stop looking at what you ain’t got and start being thankful for what you do got.” Which gives me the perfect message really doesn’t it? Especially in tough times, it’s a really great practice to stop complaining about what we don’t have, and be thankful for what we do have. It reminds me of a Lenny Henry sketch in which he talks about a tribe who greet one another with ‘how are you? And your wife and family? And your goat?’ – and that’s it because that’s all they have.

Imagine if someone were to greet you with ‘How are you? And your husband and family? And your car? And your wardrobe full of clothes? And your 25 pairs of shoes? And your widescreen television? And your electric power shower? And your tinted moisturiser? And your laptop? And your 200 CD’s? And your fridge with it’s own ice-maker? And your 43 saucepans? And…’ You’d be there for HOURS! Days, even.

So for today, even if you’re not in a place that celebrates Thanksgiving, give thanks anyway for all that you have – not just the material possessions, but the love and friendship and joy that surrounds you. And I want to thank you for reading, and for giving me an audience to play to!

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Time to Make a Difference

I find this time of year really interesting when it comes to people’s goals/intentions/plans for their lives. Oh, it’s December, no point starting a healthy eating plan now. Oh, it’s nearly Christmas, I can’t give up smoking now. I’ll start 2012 with a resolution to drink less/save more/find a new job/date more/connect with my intuition/design my life/start a business/take up a new hobby/have some more fun.

Erm. Can I just point out that there are still 45 days in 2011?! Why wait? Why put it off until January – or maybe February because January’s miserable enough without doing something difficult…or March because February’s a short month…or even April because March is busy…and the excuses go on until another year has passed, it’s next November and you’re thinking ‘hey, no point starting now, I’ll start 2013 with a resolution to drink less/save more/find a new job/date more/connect with my intuition/design my life/start a business/take up a new hobby/have some more fun.

You think I am exagerating? Can you think of a goal/intention/plan that you’ve been meaning to get into for YEARS? That’s now getting put off AGAIN until next year? Thought so. I actually find that this is a GREAT time of year to take some real action on my goals. One year I packed my job in at the end of November, the year before I gave up smoking on the 11th December, the previous year I paid off my debts in December. And the wonderful thing about it is that you can start the New Year with a spring in your step, already proud that you’ve made a start. And let’s face it, if you can make progress to make your life FABULOUS around Christmas, with all its distractions and busy-ness, you can do it ANYTIME!

I know what you’re thinking…I’m trying to ruin the festive season for you by making you go on a diet of water and celery or work yourself into the ground and miss out on Christmas parties. No. Your action does not have to be something massive and time-consuming to be impactful. For example, I am on a weight-loss programme, and my goal for December is to lose 2 pounds despite Christmas – if I do this, I will be at my goal weight at the beginning of January! And it should be relatively easy – I shall still eat, drink and be merry, but I will also have ‘good days’ and keep up the exercise (so I’ll probably keep up the daily practice of dancing which will not exactly be a hardship!)

The trick is to make your action EASY – just make progress on your most important goals and desires. Imagine if you took just a small step towards what you want EVERY DAY until the end of the year. How much progress do you think you could make? How would it feel to start next year knowing that you are already well on the way to achieving one of your dreams? Imagine if you worked on the novel you’ve always write for half an hour every day, by the end of the year, you’d have done 22 and a half hours of writing. A lot of progress can be made in ‘just’ 45 days of action…so how are you going to end the year? With a whimper? Or with time to make a difference to your life?

And if you want help to end the year with a flourish, see this week’s special offer!

- Something to Play With -

Use this exercise to help you end the year on a high note of action and achievement:
- Pick the one goal/intention/plan that will make the most difference to your life.
- What can you do every day to make progress on this goal?
- Tell someone what you’re planning to do – if you’re feeling really brave, e-mail me, I’ll put your action plan in next week’s newsletter and we’ll all encourage you!
- DO IT – make a difference to 2012.
Want to share your thoughts on this article? Please leave a comment below.

- Beach Card of the week -

“Connection to the source – keep your connection to the creative energy of all there is, and use it as rocket fuel! You know you’re connected when you feel joyous, giggly-happy, full of vibrant energy and life – what makes you feel this way? And make sure you do it often to get your connection to the source energy flowing.” For a daily ‘beach card’, join us on Facebook.

Love

Donna.x

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‘Banish Money Misery’ Now Available on Amazon!

Woohoo! I am delighted to announce that my ebook “Banish Money Misery” is now available via Amazon for the Kindle in the US, UK, Germany and France! It is very exciting, and gave me a fabulous rush to see MY little ebook with its very own Amazon page! I hope you will go and take a look, and perhaps make a cheeky purchase!

May your financial life support you always in living joyfully, happily and passionately ever after!

Here are the links:

Amazon (US)

Amazon UK

Amazon Germany

Amazon France

And here’s my first Amazon UK review (oh, how excited was I to see this!!): “A funny and informative read that many of us can relate too. Donna gives great ideas and if we all take a few away with us our piggy banks may need dusting off for the cash we can save!!!! I look forward to more titles for Donna. Great definitive guide… Please write more. CK”

Thank you CK – I am one happy little author today!

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Revealing the Sculpture

Michelangelo said that a sculptor just chipped away at a stone to reveal the beauty within. This got me thinking – isn’t this what we all do with our lives? We hold a vision of the life we want and start chipping away to reveal that life…by getting the education we want, the job, the partner, the dog, the f’ing big television…and so on. But then somehow we lose sight of what it is we’re creating, or we forget that we are creating something, or we get discouraged and put down the chisel.

Then we sit looking at the unfinished block of marble that is our life, and we complain that it’s ugly and incomplete, missing key elements. We forget that there is a work of art hiding inside that incompleteness, and more importantly, we forget that we are the sculptor. Ok, let me just move metaphor aside for a moment and ask you a question. Are you consciously creating your life? Hmm…make that 2 questions. Do you have a vision you are working towards?

When we are young, naïve and foolish, we have dreams and ambitions we have no idea how to fulfil, and no fear about fulfilling them. A few setbacks, some discouragement and an amount of time later and we give up on our dreams, telling ourselves that we were young, naïve and foolish to think we could create a masterpiece in the first place. Well, I say BRING BACK youth, naivite and foolishness!

You don’t necessarily have to bring back your original dreams – speaking for myself, I no longer want the same kind of life I wanted when I was 18! The life I am now chipping away to reveal is very different from the one I initially envisioned. In fact, I had to get a new block of marble and start again with my life sculpture because the first attempt was just too darn small. You can pick up the chisel again any time you like…and much of the fun of sculpture is the process of creation – once you get the finished article, you’re off to the next after a moment of admiration.

Much like life. You have a vision of what you want, you stop to admire it for 30 seconds (maybe) and then you’re off to create the next work of art. Only in life, we often don’t stop to appreciate that creation process, or the initial design process. We don’t always keep an eye on whether our original vision has changed and whether we need a bigger chisel. The exciting thing is that whether you are aware of it or not, you are the artist, and your life is hiding in that block of marble, just waiting to be revealed.

Something to play with
What is the vision you have for your life? Don’t worry if it’s a bit unclear at the moment – the design process is delicious! Whatever stage you’re at – visualising your design, ready to pick up the chisel, half-way through chipping away – today resolve to remember that you are the creator of your life, and wield that chisel with pride and joy!

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

Love

Donna.x

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If You Can’t Think Of Anything Nice to Say, You’re Not Trying Hard Enough

You will probably have heard the saying “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. But all that means is that you have a lot of ‘not-nice’ things unsaid. So I’d like to challenge you now – think of someone that you have nothing nice to say about…and try harder to find something nice to say!

Find their good points, compliment them, appreciate them, big them up to other people. Not only is this more fun than gossiping and running people down, it’s quite amazing what happens when you start being nice. You get back what you give out, so you will find over time that people are more complimentary about you too. Also, people tend to live up (or down) to your expectations of them so expecting the best from them brings out the best. And lastly, when you are looking for the good in people, you find that they are a sparkling diamond.

Love

Donna.x
PS I’ve always liked you, you have excellent taste in blogs! xx

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7 Weeks To Christmas!

I’m sorry, I mentioned the C word…but it really is only 7 weeks away…how did that happen? I am normally one of these people who ignores the fact that Christmas is coming until about the 11th December (just after my birthday!), but this year I have been a little bit more organised and started getting pressies as early as September.

And I have been super organised in coming up with some fabulous special offers to lead us up to Christmas too. I’m calling it ‘the 6 weeks of Christmas’ and it starts next Monday. This is your early warning – starting on Monday 14th December there will be a special offer every week up to Christmas (and here’s a top tip – the biggest savings are in the first two weeks!). So if you have been considering getting help to move your dreams into reality and live with purpose, passion and joy…this could be a really great time to go for it and finish off this year with a flourish!

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Taking Inspired Action

When you are working towards a goal (say, having a life full of purpose, passion and joy for example!), what sort of action do you take? Do you take the next logical step, even when every fibre of your being is screaming at you to do something illogical and seemingly unrelated? Or do you follow your inspiration? Taking your whims and fleeting random thoughts as instructions to do something utterly fabulous? For most of us, it is the former. The logical steps. The ‘next’ steps. And there is nothing intrinsically wrong with that! Next steps will get you there…

But there are shortcuts to where we want to go. Little cut-throughs that we tend to ignore because we can’t see where they go. Have you ever seen one of these when out for a walk? A path that leads…somewhere. But because you can’t see where it goes, you stay with the path you’re on. I have never been good at ‘staying on the beaten track’. Whenever I see a path that goes…somewhere, or a road I’ve never been down, or a door I’ve never opened, I want to go that way and find out what’s down there. In the car, this has usually meant one of two things – I either get lost, or I find a shortcut. And I like a shortcut, a rat run, a different (sometimes quicker, sometimes easier) way of getting from A to B. I also don’t mind being lost. After all, I’ve had plenty of practice!

And I am the same in life. I listen to my intuitive nudges, my inspiration, the little whispers that tell me to do something seemingly unrelated to what I’m working on. And sometimes, I admit, I do get a bit lost or distracted. But many times that little inspiration takes me somewhere utterly fabulous. By following the inspired actions, I have found resources, people and fun stuff that I would never have seen if I’d stayed on the beaten path. And the more I take inspired action, the more I recognise the inspiration, the more I see the little lightbulb go on, and the more I move forward into the fabulous life I am creating.

Inspired action is the whisper from the universe to help you get what you want from life, but sometimes it looks like a distraction. Take the case of Chris, who was looking for a job, and got a nagging thought to call an old friend who just happened to have started a new company and needed staff. Coincidence? No, inspiration. The universe is always trying to help us along, but we think we know better and just ignore those whispers. And sure, sometimes the whispers seem to lead nowhere…but I am a big believer that no inspired action is EVER wasted. Sometimes it is just what you need in that moment. The other day I got a whisper to go to a local reservoir to watch the sun set. It was just what my soul needed, irrespective of what I was ‘working on’ right then.

How do you recognise inspired action? Notice that I said ‘recognise’ – this is something that is already there within you, whispering. It is not action that ‘seems like a good idea’. It is not action that you ‘thought’ would be a logical next step. It is not action that always makes sense! In fact, sometimes it is difficuld to explain to someone else why it is something you need to do! It is inspired, coming from your intuition, sometimes enormously illogical, but you know it’s ‘right’. I know you have experienced this before, we all have. And we all have the ability to tap into this inspiration more and more – unfortunately many of us are too used to going down the logical path. But logic was only invented to justify our intuitive decisions!!! So listen to your inspirations…and TAKE ACTION!

Love

Donna.x

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Wishcasting: How Do You Wish To Nourish Yourself?

It’s Wishcasting Wednesday. There is power in wishing – putting your wishes out there sets mighty forces into action…

How Do You Wish To Nourish Yourself?

I wish to nourish myself with love for myself, support for myself, 100% belief in myself. I wish to nourish myself with joy, laughter, self-expression, fun, dance (see the daily practice!), creativity, nature, beauty. I wish to nourish myself by caring for myself so well that I feel cradled in the arms of love. I wish to nourish myself in every way that I need nourishment…and mostly that is by backing myself 100%, trusting in me and believing that I can fly high.

Get involved on Jamie’s blog, or leave a comment here. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you also.

Love

Donna.x

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