Financial Integrity

Well, my office revamp is still not finished – I am still searching through boxes in the garage every five minutes for things I need (that I genuinely thought I wouldn’t need for weeks…). However, one more weekend should see it done. All the materials are in place, all I need is a couple of handy, strong people (I am not very practical and I have spaghetti arms!) and we’ll be rocking and rolling. I can’t wait! This should mean that I have a lovely space from which to coach new and fabulous clients. I have 2 one to one spaces available starting in August. So, if you have been thinking about getting some one to one help to get you living the life you were born to live, get in touch now.

This week’s article is an excerpt from my ebook – “110 Steps to Heal your Money” – to buy it, Click Here – it is available in various formats for your e-readers, palm pilots or computers.

- Financial Integrity -

How is your financial integrity? Do you owe money? Do you cheat? Steal? Perhaps not in a ‘Great Train Robbery’ way, but financial integrity runs through your whole life, so even pinching a bic biro from work counts here. I am not the police, and I don’t care if you steal the entire stationary cupboard, or I wouldn’t, except that I know that being out of integrity hurts your financial health.

When you are out of integrity in any area of your life, there is worry, stress, fear, shame – and if that is being suppressed, you are putting a huge amount of energy into not feeling bad. Often, you don’t even realise the amount of bad feeling your energy is going into until you start getting back into integrity. Coaching clients often deny any bad feeling to do with past money stuff that is out of integrity but when they do this exercise, they invariably find something that has been mithering them, and when they take action, they feel 100 times better.

It really is true that the person transgressing suffers most. The good news is that once you take just one step in the direction of renewed integrity, all that bad feeling starts to be released and the energy which had gone into ignoring, suppressing and denying the bad feeling is freed.

Here are a few real life examples from myself and people I have worked with:
- not repaying a loan from your parents
- stealing pens from a shop when you were 15
- keeping quiet about an overpay or undercharge
- not paying a friend back for a gig ticket she paid for (even though she forgot about it)
- deferring payment of your student loan
- always being behind on the rent
- paying an employee too low a wage
- my-round-o-phobia (not standing your round in the pub)
- taking money from a boyfriend, even though he didn’t notice and could spare it
- a loan from a friend that was never repaid (and never asked for)

You’ll notice that in many of these examples, the other party didn’t notice or care…but it still felt out of integrity. My friend forgot about the gig ticket and never asked me for the money…but I remembered it regularly, and when I did this exercise it came up again…2 years later. A good rule of thumb for items that “might” be out of integrity is: if you still remember it, it’s still bothering you; therefore it is out of integrity for you.

- Something to Play With -

List anything that feels out of integrity for you. And start to put them right. If you can’t put it right immediately, find a way to get back in integrity – for example one of my clients gave a donation to a charity rather than repaying the company they felt out of integrity with. Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave a comment here.

Love

Donna.x
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What Difference Does It Make?

Just in case you were wondering what difference one person, one action can make, watch this:

And see Darynkagan.com for daily inspirational videos that show the world what’s possible.

Love

Donna.x

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Conscious Joyfulness

Well, the office revamp is still going on – today we put together a new wardrobe, which was going to finish off the revamp, give me some storage in there, and turn my office into a little dance studio too cos the doors are mirrored (I’m not a prima ballerina, I just always wanted a dance studio!). Anyway, the mirrored doors are the reason the office revamp is still in progress – 2 of them are broken. Sigh. Still, one was fine and Ikea were lovely and immediately agreed to replace them. So, next week I should have my new office completed! I hope. Meanwhile, I was talking to a client today and we were talking about Joy and being Joyful, which reminded me of this article: enJOY!

- Conscious Joyfulness -

The dictionary definition of joy is ‘a deep feeling or condition of happiness or contentment’. Sounds wonderful – I’ll have some of that! So, how often do you feel joyous? All day every day? Once a day? Once a week? Every now and again? I have a vague suspicion (I could be wrong) that it isn’t that often.

After all, we’re not programmed for joy are we? We’re programmed to be stressed, exhausted, busy and tense. So, we walk round scowling rather than smiling, we worry rather than getting excited, we are more serious than frivolous. Hmm. Which state would be more fun? Which state would be easier? Which state do we work on?

Interesting eh?! We’d enjoy life so much more if we worked on the state of joy, but most of us instead work on the state of stress! You may be frowning at me right now – why would you work on being stressed?! Make no mistake about it…every time you spend time on worry, anger, criticism, negative thoughts and actions you are working on your stress.

Perhaps not consciously, because if you were conscious of ‘working on your stress’, you would stop it. Here’s what we do: something upsets us or stresses us out. Then we worry at it like a dog with a bone. Then we talk about it with our friends, and every time we repeat the story (depending on the level of stress/worry/pain, anywhere between 5 times and 200 times) we relive the pain/stress/worry and charge it with a tremendous amount of energy and exercising our stress muscles so they get big and strong.

When I started thinking about this article, I realised that I too do not feel joyous 24/7, and I started looking for specific examples of things that brought me joy in the last week. A smiley moon, sunshine and starlight, catching up with friends, hearing about achievements and good stuff happening for people, connecting to a higher power, music, dancing, laughter, a good book, a new idea, a hot bubbly bath and a magazine, random acts of kindness, love, spending time with my family…the list goes on and on.

And do you know what I found very curious? I had barely noticed these fabulous things – I was far too busy worrying about something else altogether! Now, I’m going to spend more time working on joy, rather than stress. What about you?

- Something to Play With -

Spend 3-5 minutes brainstorming the things that make you joyful. Then decide to live a joyous life and consciously bring more joy into your life. For example, plan one joyous activity a day for the next week, and see what a difference it makes to your outlook. Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

Love

Donna.x

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I Have Confidence In Me

Forgive me if you hate ‘the Sound of Music’ – having been to see it at the weekend, I’m having a week of “Sound of Music” themed blog posts! Lol. Today, having confidence in yourself. Let me remind you of part of the lyric to ‘I have confidence in me’:
“I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me”

If you know the film, you will know that this song comes in at a point when Maria does NOT have confidence in herself, she’s out of her depth, scared and about to go into completely new territory. But rather than dwell on what she is unsure of, she concentrates on what she has confidence in and works on building her confidence. In a pinch, what do you do? Build your confidence, or dwell on your uncertainties? Think about what you CAN have confidence in, or go into how you could cock it up?

A brave man is not the one without fear (that’s the idiot), but the one who carries on despite his fear. There are times when we aren’t sure if we can do something. We have a choice whether we carry on regardless, or we choke and stay in the safe place. The trouble is, that safe place starts to become claustrophobic, erodes our confidence more and eventually hurts way more than carrying on regardless would have. So next time you’re on the road to a new adventure, remember to have confidence in you.

Love

Donna.x

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Climb Every Mountain

I went to see ‘The Sound of Music’ at the theatre over the weekend. It was fabulous of course, but the bit that really got my heart singing was “Climb Every Mountain”. Let me remind you of the lyrics:
“Climb every mountain, search high and low
Follow every by way, every path you know
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream

A dream that will need, all the love you can give
Everyday of your life, for as long as you live
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream

A dream that will need, all the love you can give
Everyday of your life, for as long as you live
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your… dream…”

Notice that it says EVERY mountain, EVERY rainbow. Not ford one or two streams, then give up. Too often we give up on our dreams, on ourselves because ‘it didn’t work out’, life got in the way, naysayers called us ‘unrealistic’ or it took more effort than we anticipated! If you want to follow your dream, it’s going to take time and effort, there will be obstacles – some in your own mind, some in other people, some practical and physical. Maria’s dream came true really quickly and relatively easily.

But most dreams take a little more time, and you do have to climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow…and as you journey you realise that climbing the mountain, fording the stream and following the rainbow are fun. Getting your dream at the end is the icing on the cake! (and of course, at that point, there will be a new dream to chase!) Give yourself, and your dreams a chance. Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow…

Love

Donna.x

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Emptying Every Spare Minute

Dear reader, I hope your week is going exactly to plan. Mine is not. I had a lovely day out to visit my friend, came home intending to check my e-mail, write a blog, relax and instead discovered that the carpet in my office needed to come up. Some new flooring is going in on Saturday, and the concrete underneath the old carpet is wet. I thought it was just a little corner, it was actually three quarters of the room! So my lovely plan to relax and chill out turned into a mad few hours moving furniture around to get the carpet up and moving boxes and boxes and boxes of stuff out to the garage to leave as much of the floor exposed as possible so it will dry.

Big, deep sigh. It also means that my plans for tomorrow (in a relaxed way catch up with admin, marketing and writing tasks) have been replaced by ‘box everything else to get it out of there’. In the meantime, my office is a building site. So in true ‘beach’ style, I will be trimming other tasks to make way for this to happen, not frantically trying to pack everything in and collapsing exhausted at the end. Which reminded me of this mini article that I thought you might enjoy.

- Emptying Every Spare Minute -

I was thinking last week about what stresses me out, and noticed that about 99% of the problem was my insistence on filling every spare moment with ‘something to do’. Got 15 minutes before a client? I’ll just go and write my blog. 10 minutes to spare? A quick tidy up. 5 minutes to spare? Check my e-mails. 1 minute to spare? Read half a sentence of this book…

No wonder I get stressed! And no wonder I often run late and work late. I have no time to myself to just chill, to reset, to plan. I cannot proceed from task to task in a nice relaxed manner because I have ‘mustbedoingsomething-itis’. Is this busy-holia making me more productive? More efficient? More at ease? Nope. Instead I am wild-eyed and fraught.

I have a client call in 15 minutes – if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to use that 15 minutes to do nothing.

- Something to Play With -

My articles are usually longer, so take the time you would have taken and just do nothing for a couple more minutes. You can pretend to be reading if it makes you feel better. And all this week, notice if you are ‘filling time’ and experiment with emptying it instead. Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

Love

Donna.x

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It’s My Favourite!

Do you remember when you were a kid and everything was your favourite? Mr Whippy ice cream? My favourite! Chips? My favourite! Lego? My favourite! Adam and the Ants? My favourite! The funny thing about this is that when you have everything as your favourite, it gives you a surge of enthusiasm for your life. Life? My favourite! Today, for some obscure reason, as I was driving away from the petrol station, the thought ran through my head “A full tank of fuel. My favourite!” It made me laugh aloud.

So I decided to keep it going. Swimming? My favourite! Bacon sandwich for lunch? My favourite! Writing a blog post? My favourite! It might sound a bit daft, but it really does remind you to enjoy your life. When you do something that is your favourite, you savour it, you enjoy the moment more and therefore you enjoy it more. Enjoying life? My absolute, 100% FAVOURITE! Now for you – what’s your favourite?

Love

Donna.x

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What Do You Know That You Know

At the start of this year, I had lost a bit of my business mojo. I was tired, out of ideas and I needed a shot of life. One of my favourite coaches in the world, Sandy Grason, a lady who is funny, sassy and fabulous, was launching the latest season of her ‘Fabulous Formula’. It was very timely for me. Sandy combines inspirational coaching tools with very practical business building tips to give you back your mojo and rock your business. I adore her, and this week I recorded a testimonial for her because this program really did give me the shot of fabulous I was so looking for.

Sandy has a ‘Virtual Cocktail Party‘ on July 8th to talk about this next season of the Fabulous Formula – it’s free, and if you sign up, you will get some GREAT free content…and you will see the video I did! Sandy is also going to announce something big – to show she is ‘walking her talk’. If you’re curious, sign up for the party here. And because it’s all about The Fabulous Formula this week, I thought I’d share with you one of the tools I really liked from the program. It’s a really simple writing prompt that will connect you with your intuition, with what you know.

- What Do You Know That You Know -

Most of us have a lot of knowledge stored up inside us. We’ve lived a lot of life, we’ve been educated, we’ve educated ourselves in our interests in life. We may have read a lot of books, done a lot of programs, found mentors, watched a lot of tv and taken in a lot of information. But sometimes, this information overload causes us to intellectualise a little too much, to rely too much on logic, to think that other people have all the answers, to ignore what we ‘just know’. Sandy shared this journalling prompt with us on Fab U to help us get in touch with what we know. “I know that I know…” and just write. (for more journalling prompts, check out Sandy’s book ‘Journalution’).

I know that I know that the Fabulous Formula was a great investment in my business. Thanks to Sandy’s program, I got my mojo back, I got some wonderful support from the community she has set up, and I learned a TON – not just from the program, but from the way it was run, the way Sandy was authentic, fun, and faaaaaaaabulous! And now I get to do it again. Awesome.

I know that I know that the best way to get what you want in life is to fall wildly in love with your life, and have as much fun as you possibly can. Otherwise, what else is it all about? I know that I know that doing things the ‘other way’ makes no sense – ie going for goals and possessions so you can enjoy life. If you just start enjoying it where you are right now, you don’t waste any time ‘on the way’ to enjoying your life. I know that loving life is what most of us are seeking, and what all too often, we are missing because we are looking in all the wrong places.

I know that I know that happiness is not to be found in possessions, in apparent prestige, in the illusions and trappings of so-called wealth. Sure, those things are nice, but without joy and passion for life, they are meaningless and empty. I know that I know that our childlike essence is our most important asset. Our ability to be enthusiastic, joyful, loving, passionate, our capacity for laughter and silliness is more important to our enjoyment of life than any amount of logic, reasoning or common sense. I know that I know that laughter really is the best medicine, and joy is the oil that will keep your life running smoothly.

I know that I know that my mission in life is to help people to connect with their joy, their essence, their passion, their ability to fall in love with life wildly and without reservation. I know that I know. What do you know that you know?

- Something to Play With -

Write at the top of a piece of paper: “I know that I know”. Set a timer for 10 minutes and just write: what do you know that you know? I’d love to hear what your intuition is telling you. Leave a comment.

Love

Donna.x

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When Life Seems Jolly Rotten…

…there’s something you’ve forgotten. And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing. (good old Monty Python)

When any situation in your life seems ‘bad’, what are you looking at? The cost, in time, money, energy? All the reasons that this is ‘bad’? What if you were to actively seek the blessings in any situation? Think of a situation you are seeing as ‘bad’. Now think of 10 blessings in this situation.

One of the most inspiring stories I ever heard was of a woman who lost her job, her husband, and discovered she had cancer, all in the space of a week! Her reaction? “I will have plenty of time to focus on getting well, and there will be no dirty socks to pick up!”

There is a bright side if you will only look for it.

Love

Donna.x

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Bounce, Bounce

This week’s OnTheBeach Article – to receive it every Wednesday, sign up here.

I knew I had forgotten something yesterday! This newsletter totally slipped my mind. I was far more interested in the leaking pipe that’s wrecked my office carpet, and how to prevent any more damage being done. I was also a little pre-occupied by my fat percentage. I was at a HR conference yesterday, and they had a ‘health check’ – which included measuring your fat ratio. Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly delighted with the result! But, it did get me thinking. Firstly, I wonder if they take boobs into account? And secondly, what action I could take daily to get this percentage down to a healthy level.

The answer was simple and instantaneous – the mini trampoline that currently acts as an obstacle to dodge, fall over and generally get annoyed by in my office. Perhaps rather than just moving around it, I could use it. So my plan is 10 minutes a day, every day. Accompanied by the playlist I did to bounce to! Should be fun. Anyway, all that reminded me of the article I wrote when I first got my mini trampoline 5 years ago. Here it is, enjoy!

- Bounce, Bounce -

I am very excited this week. I have bought myself a mini-trampoline and I have been bouncing for Britain! The reason for the purchase was that I went to a gig a couple of months ago and was bouncing along to my favourite song. For a minute. Then I turned puce, got a stitch and could hardly breathe.

I was horrified. How unfit am I that I can’t even bounce for 3 minutes? Only a few years ago I could bounce for an entire set, never mind just one song. So, I decided on a mini-trampoline to improve my fitness so I can bounce with the 19 year-olds at the next gig. I am not without vanity you will notice.

The unexpected and delightful side-benefit of this purchase is that when I am bouncing, I access a state of absolute joyfulness and excitement and happiness and fun. This is due to the physical ‘memory’ of the festivals and gigs where I have been happily bouncing along to the music. (or in NLP-speak, an anchor)

This has been wonderful this week – not only have I been getting a great cardio workout, I also bounce off my mini-trampoline feeling fired up and ready to go. Woo hoo! The benefit of this was proven today – I sat down to write this newsletter, and my mind went blank…then raced with disorganised chaotic thoughts…then went blank again.

After a couple of frustrating minutes, a ‘bouncy’ song came on the radio and up I got. 3 minutes of bouncing later (yes, I am up to song-length now…although I can’t sing along for more than a minute.) and I was inspired to write this newsletter. And I think it’s the fastest I have ever completed one. Amazing.

I discovered this anchor completely by accident, but if I had thought about it I would have found that I do feel fantastic after bouncing along to music at a gig…and maybe I would have found a way to do it daily at home. What about you? What makes you feel bouncy? Think back to the times you felt fired up and motivated and excited – what made you feel that way?

Now figure out how you can get that essence into your daily life and let’s get bouncin!

- Something to Play With -

Think about the things that make you bouncy, excited, fired up, motivated, fun, happy. What can you do daily to access that state of fabulous joyfulness? Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment.

Love

Donna.x

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