Ooh, That Was Fun!

Yesterday I happened to be stuck in traffic on the M6. I was hot, I was hungry and I was moving at about 3 miles an hour. Plenty of reason to be peeved, eh? But then I looked across at a very angry chap in the outside lane who practically had steam coming out of his ears. He was obviously having a terrible time, and here’s the thing: we couldn’t change it. Being pissed off was not going to make it any easier (quite the opposite in fact), or get rid of the jam any faster. In his case, I suspect it took him closer to a coronary.

In my case, seeing his misery and anger jolted me out of my own irritation. I thought to myself “Right, I’m here. There’s nothing I can do about it, no helicopter is going to rescue me, so let’s make the most of this shall we?” I rolled down the windows, beamed at the blue sky and lovely hot sun, turned up the music and started to car dance. I like to think I cheered some people up – they were laughing at me anyway. I certainly had more fun than if I’d sat there fuming. And then I intensified the game, upped the ante, compounded the enjoyment.

How? I cheered wildly everytime I got into 3rd gear (twice). I beamed at the lovely sky, grinned at other cars, told myself I was in the fastest lane (and a lot of the time, I was – I went past the cross man 17 times), found things to appreciate, danced more and more, sang a little (I do have a bit of a sense of shame!), thanked God that my car doesn’t overheat, and thoroughly enjoyed myself in every way I could think of. And then, when I went past the police cars and ambulance I had a rampage of appreciation that I was safe and well.

Because those people in that car were having a way worse time than we were. I’d take stuck in a traffic jam over an appointment with Casualty any day. The moral of this story of course is that sometimes things happen that are not great, sometimes we’re stuck in a situation we don’t want to be in, but we have a choice as to how we deal with that. We can sit and fume, OR we can make it fun. And do you know what? In a bizarre way, I really enjoyed that trip home. Not so much that I’d want to do it again today, but ooh, that was fun!

Love

Donna.x

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Beach Speed

On my weekly newsletter this week: I am…mellow. Surprisingly mellow. Annoyingly mellow! I have 1001 things to see, people to go, places to do. And there I am, sitting in the sun lounger for half the week watching starlings fly across a picture perfect blue sky. Mellowed out. Not ‘getting on with stuff’. I’ve come to understand (partly because of my health) that trying to flow when the energy is ebbing is a waste of time and totally counter productive. Still, sitting still doesn’t come that easy and I fought it for a while before realising that I quite enjoy sitting still and just enjoying the moment.

So instead of trying to rush about to write something new, I decided to recycle an article from 2006 about the pace of life…which seems appropriate for me. And perhaps for you? Let me know – leave a comment on my Facebook page or simply reply to this mail.

- Beach Speed -

Because it’s been a busy week, I’ve been rushing hither and thither at a frantic pace, leaving a trail of unfinished tasks in my wake. By Thursday, my office looked like a bombsite and I couldn’t find a thing! So, I decided to just slow down, finish what I could finish, tidy up, breathe, and stop pretending to be ‘Mr Rush’.

You may have heard of the ‘slow movement’ – a movement which reacts against the fast food, fast living, now now NOW culture we live in. They have a point. Some things can only be enjoyed if you do them slowly. Long, leisurely lunch anyone? It’s one of the reasons we relax so much on holiday – there’s no time pressure.

You can get up when you like, eat when you like, do what you like. On the other hand, take a typical day in the ‘normal’ life for you. Everything is done at high speed because you need to be somewhere, have deadlines to meet, have a million and one things to do. And even social events are crammed in to a busy day.

My best friend and I went for ‘food and a film’ a few weeks ago. She was working til 6, then doing chores until she came to get me. I was working til 8, then frantically showering and changing to be ready in time. The first hour of our evening was spent discussing how tired we were and what a chaotic day it had been.

By the time we had both relaxed and started to enjoy ourselves, it was time to rush off to see the film, no time for digesting our food! Ridiculous. Had we just had the meal and then sat chatting, it would have been a lovely evening. As it was, we both sat through the film day-dreaming of sleep! And this is not an isolated incident – it happens to all of us, all the time.

Ironically, when you do slow down, you are actually able to accomplish more. From Thursday onwards, I decided to leave myself enough time to do what I had to, and leave anything that could wait. (and tidy up as I went along!) As a result, my stress levels shot down, I enjoyed what I was doing, and I got more done than I expected to.

I have deliberately used these two examples to show that ‘going slow’ works for business and pleasure. Try it…slow down the pace of your life just a little. Or go for the full experience and go down to beach speed! Now, about that long, leisurely lunch?

- Something to Play With -

Your mission this week is to play with this idea of ‘living slow’. Take a long, leisurely lunch. Sit and watch the world go by. Ditch half your ‘to do’ list in favour of playing with your friends, family or self! Change down to beach speed, and let me know how you get on! Leave me a comment.

And if you’d like to sign up to get the weekly newsletter, click here.

Love

Donna.x

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The Truth of You

“I can’t tell you what your next action will be, but mine involved a full stop. I had to stop living unconsciously, as if I had all the time in the world. The love and good and the wild and the peace and creation that are you will reveal themselves, but it is harder when they have to catch up to you in roadrunner mode. So one day I did stop. I began consciously to break the rules I learned in childhood: I wasted more time, as a radical act. I stared off into space more, into the middle distance, like a cat. This is when I have my best ideas, my deepest insights.

Obviously, it is in many people’s best interest for you not to find yourself, but it only matters that it is in yours—and your back’s—and the whole world’s, to proceed.

There’s always something ending and something beginning. Yet in the very center is the truth of your spiritual identity: is you.Fabulous, hilarious, darling, screwed-up you. Beloved of God and of your truest deepest self, the self that is revealed when tears wash off the makeup and grime. The self that is revealed when dealing with your anger blows through all the calcification in your soul’s pipes. The self that is reflected in the love of your very best friends’ eyes. The self that is revealed in divine feminine energy, your own, Bette Midler’s, Hillary Clinton’s, Tina Fey’s, Michelle Obama’s, Mary Oliver’s. I mean, you can see that they are divine, right? Well, you are, too. I absolutely promise. I hope you have gotten sufficiently tired of hitting the snooze button; I know that what you need or need to activate in yourself will appear; I pray that your awakening comes with ease and grace, and stamina when the going gets hard. To love yourself as you are is a miracle, and to seek yourself is to have found yourself, for now. And now is all we have, and love is who we are.”
- Anne Lamott

Take this and read it again and again and again until you have absorbed it all. I have read it every day for 2 weeks and every time I feel my spirit lift. May it do the same for you.

Love

Donna.x

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Find The Gift

When life throws you lemons, make lemonade (or tequila slammers, depending on your preference!). It’s an old cliche, but a good ‘un! Sometimes life throws stuff at you that sucks, situations that are painful, people who are prats (!), shocks and awful news. That’s life. Last week I talked about playing the best you can with the hand you’re dealt. But there is more you can do. You can actively seek the gift in the rubbish hand! Sticking with the card metaphor for a moment, a bad hand induces you to get much better at the game so you can still win! Getting great cards every time will not improve your skill, it’ll just be easier.

Not that one state is better than another. Great hand – cool! Shite hand – fabulous, I get to play better and winning will mean WAY more. Let’s take it to real life for a second. As you know, I have been given a diagnosis on my health that I’m not overly impressed with. This has already brought me gifts. I have reconnected with some old friends I’d lost touch with. I have found that some friends are FABULOUS at dealing with this kind of thing…and the friendship is stronger for it. I am actively seeking ways to improve my energy and my health, and I’ve already noticed I’m less keen to eat empty sugary things (most unlike me!).

I have been given gifts, including chocolate (my favourite) and several programs from one of my mentors/teachers Carole Dore – this package had me beaming from ear to ear with joy and I am already feeling the benefits of the first 2 products I’ve used. I have been gentler with myself. I have been more aware of my energy, how I feel, and I’ve been following that energy. I’ve received ideas, telephone numbers, potentially helpful information. Wow. Looking at it like that, I’ve already received so much…and I only found out 2 weeks ago. Just imagine what other good stuff could come my way?!

Just imagine for a moment, that this diagnosis is FOR me. That it is something that will lead to good stuff. It is said that often your greatest pain can be your greatest teacher AND your greatest gift. Now of course, I’d rather just take the easy life, thanks…but that’s not an option. Imagine for a moment that my life will get better as a result of my diagnosis. Just like it did when I had throat infections – made me give up smoking which made me feel lots better, not just getting rid of the throat infection. Just as it did when my liver stopped processing booze – which made me drastically cut down on drink (from probably an average of 10 units a day to an average of 1 a week!). Not only was I less often hungover, I had more energy, I was less depressed (didn’t realise drink made me down until I stopped), I felt clearer and happier, and my social life is better. And I spend less!

Now let’s imagine that something that you are not happy about is also a gift to you. It’s something that will ultimately make your life better. Start looking for the gifts. It is usually much easier to see this stuff in hindsight, but if you can detach a little from the pain/discomfort/upset/anger and look for the gift, you can move through the situation more easily. You will be less rocked by the inevitable lemons, and much better able to cheerfully say “lemonade?” when someone asks what you’re doing with your horrid situation.

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Let Joy Be Unconfined

I was just sent this quote in an e-mail from Lisa of Beach Dance:

On with the dance, let joy be unconfined! – Mark Twain

Not a bad motto to live by, say I!

May joy be unconfined in your life tonight!

Love

Donna.x

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Wading Uphill Through Treacle…

…with steel boots on. Ever feel like that? I posted on my Facebook page earlier that when you feel that way it is time to stop, refresh, take off the steel boots and find a way up the hill without the treacle! Try this: how can this be more easy? How can this be more fun?

Little did I know that less than 2 hours later I’d be taking my own advice! I have this extremely tedious task on hand to categorise and log used articles so they can be re-used. It’s very tedious, a bit fiddly and always gets put to the bottom of the pile. When I decided to take my own advice and stop, I did 3 simple things: I decided I’d award myself with a chocolate biscuit when I’d done 6 months worth; I put on some good music and danced around like a fool for a few minutes; and I created a tick list – every time I’d done a month, I ticked it off so that I felt like I was making progress.

15 minutes later, 6 months worth were done and I was tucking into my chocolate biscuit. It really is astonishing how, if we take the time to stop and re-evaluate, we can find an easier, more fun, quicker and BETTER way of doing things. Or of course, you could continue to wade uphill through treacle with steel boots on. Your choice.

Love

Donna.x

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Play The Hand You’re Dealt

This last week in the UK, we’ve been getting all politically excited with the election, the hung parliament, and the deals being done. Of course, I too have a political opinion. But mostly, I’m just going to play the hand I’m dealt. Whoever ‘got in’ as Prime Minister. Whoever has control of the government, I’ll just play the hand they deal me. This does not mean I am politically apathetic, but I am realistic.

This is all we CAN do. And I intend to play the game to the best of my ability with the cards they give me. Why the card metaphor? Well, many of you know that what cards you get is a matter of luck/fate/random chance, but the way you play is down to you. And putting this back into politics – the country have voted which deck to play, now we get to see what cards this deck will deal. And whatever cards they deal, we get to play our game.

This doesn’t just apply to politics, it applies to all life. I’ll be honest, health-wise, I’ve been dealt a hand that sucks right now…but I have every intention of flipping that diagnosis and playing a winning hand even with cards that suck. I’m going to play the game the best way I know how – and I intend to get better at the game so that I give myself a better chance of winning!

Health wise, this means changing some of my habits, bringing in some new habits and learning how to take better care of this body. That’s the serious side of it. But the card metaphor has another side – the fun side! It’s a game. I asked on my Facebook page last week “what if I was doing this just for fun?” What if we were ‘doing life’ just for fun? What if the whole purpose of life was to have a laugh?

Would that change how you played the game? Would it change your measures of success and importance? Would it change how you looked at your cards? Let’s face it, sometimes life does deal us a hand that appears to suck. For example, I’m finding it hard to see the positive side of my diagnosis (put it this way, I don’t have Chronic Fatigue). But if it’s just for fun, this diagnosis is just a card I have to play the best way I can…while having fun.

And this is just one of the cards I’m holding – the fact that I am completely fabulous might just make up for this one shit card! Lol. So what about you? Why not try this metaphor on for size? Don’t bemoan the hand you’re dealt, just play it. Play it with intelligence, learn the rules of the game, learn the cheats , and HAVE FUN!

Love

Donna.x

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I Get Knocked Down…

…But I get up again. Nothing like a bit of chumbawumba on a wednesday! Lol. Much as I detest the song, I like the sentiment. I get knocked down, but I get up again. A Japanese proverb says it best “Fall down 100 times, get up 101″. This last week I have been being knocked down, getting up, knocked down, getting up, and so on and so on. Some weeks are just like that! (Usually weeks where I’m not sleeping – I’m harder to knock down when I’m not knackered!)

Anyway, if you’re getting knocked down at the moment, just get back up again. And if you are finding it hard to get up alone, make sure you are surrounded by people who help to pick you up. This can be friends and family, but it can just as easily be strangers who have uplifting things to say. Get an idea of who are your ‘go to’ people when you’re knocked down, or your action plan for getting back up (which may not involve people you know).

I’m lucky to be part of several online communities of like-minded people, and they are unfailingly helpful every time. But my top tip for getting ‘up’ again (and this can be physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually ‘up’) is to have a laugh. A couple of times over the past week when I’ve been knocked down, I’ve gone to trusty You Tube and found some stuff that makes me laugh – it’s the quickest ‘up’ there is!

Love

Donna.x

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