An Easy Decision Making Tool: Toss A Coin

How do you make a decision? Do you weigh up the options carefully, plumping for the safest, cheapest, easiest, most sensible? Do you worry endlessly about consequences and never make a decision at all? Or do you jump in and make a decision and worry about the consequences later?

For many years I have tried (and failed!) to do the first of these – and do the ‘right’ thing. The problem is, the ‘right’ thing is often the ‘wrong’ thing for me. The sensible decision is usually the one decision which will stifle my spirit, bore me to tears or keep me in a situation I hate. And I like flying by the seat of my pants – it’s far easier than all this pros and cons bull. I now toss a coin to help me decide.

For someone who has been known to be indecisive on occasion it is marvellous…and rarely wrong. The simplicity of a coin toss appeals to me because it is quick, easy and relatively uncomplicated – no evidence gathering, no researching, no discussing, just a flip and there you have it – a decision! And I don’t just mean for small decisions, like pizza or pasta? I have decided whether to buy a house, go to Australia for a year, leave my job to start my own business, and buy a car…all on the toss of a coin.

I can see some of you twitching at the very idea of this – not exactly scientific, responsible or sensible, right? Correct! I’ll tell you what it does do though, it focuses you very quickly on what YOU want. Imagine you wanted to decide whether to look for a new job, you toss a coin and it comes up tails…stay at your current job.

Your stomach sinks, you stare at the coin and think…best of 3! Then best of 5, best of 7, best of 9, best of 73. You see, I’m not suggesting you take the advice of the coin! Merely flipping the coin will give you an indication of what it is you want – in the above example, you want to leave the job. Deep down, the decision is already made but your conscious mind is getting in the way with the endless pro’s and con’s of making a decision.

By tossing a coin, you can find out very quickly what it is you really want. Many years ago I was trying to decide whether to buy a house. Every signpost pointed to yes – it was the done thing, the sensible thing, an investment blah blah blah. Even the coin toss agreed, I should go for it.

But I carried on flipping that coin for 10 minutes, wanting tails to come up. Suddenly I realised there was one overwhelmingly good reason for me not to buy a house. I didn’t want to. If I had, I would have doubled my money by now. I don’t regret it for a second. The coin was wrong, but it did tell me what I really wanted. What does the toss of a coin tell you?

- Something to Play With -

Take a decision you have been struggling with, and toss a coin…what does the coin toss tell you? (note how you feel, not if it’s heads or tails!) For the next week, try this method of decision making – get in touch with your intuitive leanings and quit wasting time endlessly weighing up the pros and cons! Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave a comment here or pop over to my facebook page and leave a comment there.

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Facebook Crazy!

We’ve gone Facebook crazy here at Donnaonthebeach Towers – not only do we now have our very own page, we have also added a widgety thing (technical term!) to each and every blog post so if you read a blog post and you like it, you can immediately let your friends on facebook know about it.

I’m just off to play with it now – so if we’re friends on Facebook, you’ll see my 3 favourite blog posts so far this year! And I’d love it if you’d do the same with your favourite posts. And let me know what you think.

Lots of love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Dance, Dance Wherever You May Be

Yesterday I received this post from 1000 Awesome Things about Dancing when you’re home alone. It really made me laugh because I do this DAILY. Without the wooden spoon or special attire, I am ashamed to admit. When was the last time you did this? And what song did you do it to?

This week, I would have been mortified to be caught shaking my ass to ‘Single Ladies’ by Beyonce or really going for it, top of my lungs, arms out wide to ‘This is War’ by 30 Seconds to Mars. But whenever I think about it, I laugh. And when I actually do it, my energy goes sky high. So my mission for you this weekend is to put on some music that you LOVE, get your ‘microphone’ at the ready and SING and DANCE to your hearts content…and FEEL the moment, really enjoy that moment, wallow in the fun/joy/hilarity, have fun!

And then tell me what you danced and sang to, how you felt and when you’re going to do it again!

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Drop The Pressure

Do you ever find yourself getting incredibly grouchy? Irritable? Impatient? Even evil? A short fuse is a key indicator of stress, but we often blame the weather, tiredness, PMT, and sometimes miss the fact that actually, we are under a lot of pressure. All too often, this pressure is entirely self-inflicted – the only person expecting the moon on a stick from you, is you!

For example, my friend has been to the doctors to ask for help for her PMT before she kills someone. The doctor prescribed…relieving some pressure. My friend is putting an incredible amount of pressure on herself to be perfect…and the pressure is telling. Imagine an old steam kettle – once the steam builds up, the kettle starts shrieking! She’s not alone in not realising that she is putting herself under a lot of strain.

Only a few weeks ago I was getting myself into a terrible tizz – I have a lot on my to do list for my business – there are all sorts of plates spinning, projects in progress and directions in which to go. And of course, if I were Captain Perfect, I’d be progressing every project daily. No one else is asking me to do so. It’s all me. I thought that I was superhuman. I was wrong. Sigh. No special powers or anything. Dammit.

Once I realised that actually, I am making progress, I could relax and continue on without the lead weight I had put on myself. What about you? Where are you putting yourself under pressure? It could be with your appearance, your career, your finances, your relationships, your health. Check in with your life. Where are you feeling the pressure to be thinner, richer, more successful, more popular, healthier, busier, more perfect?

Whose expectations are you trying to live up to? Are you adding pressure to yourself? Imagine if you cut yourself a break…how much easier would that be? And there is a possibility that when you relax your iron grip on the situation, achieving what you want will become easier…

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

If You Could Do It All Again

You may have seen this poem, it does the rounds on e-mail occasionally. This week, a friend sent it to me and I read it again and once again realised how wonderful a philosophy it is:

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.
I’d relax, I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.

I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles,
but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I’m one of those people who live
sensibly and sanely hour after hour,
day after day.

Oh, I’ve had my moments,
And if I had it to do over again,
I’d have more of them.
In fact, I’d try to have nothing else.
Just moments, one after another,
instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I’ve been one of those people who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat
and a parachute.
If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over,
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair,
85 years old.

Nadine Stair is attributed to have written this at age 85. Whatever age you are, look back and ask yourself – if you could do it all again, what would you do more?

I would laugh more, and worry less
I would not take notice of what ‘they’ may think, and instead notice what I think
I would enjoy all of it – the ‘bad’ times and the good
I would celebrate that I am doing my best in every moment

I would know that everything worked out in the end, even when it didn’t look like it was going to
I would live MY life, not try to fit in with the herd
I would do what I was passionate about
I would follow my intuition

I would enjoy my life anyway, even when business wasn’t good
Even when I was skint, even when the nights were long and the weather cold
Even when everything looked bleak, I would have some fun anyway
I would look in my own eyes more and say “You are WONDERFUL”

I would stay out of other people’s business and stay in my own
I would encourage more, cheerlead more, cheer up more – myself and others
I would endeavour to show the best of me at all times
And I would let myself off the hook when I failed dismally!

Wait. I can (and try to) do all these things now. And so can you. What would you do? Once you know, replace would with ‘will’ or am! For example “I will laugh more and worry less” or ” I am laughing more and worrying less”. Then live to YOUR own blueprint for life. My guess is that before we got here to earth, this is what we intended to do – laugh, enjoy, smell the flowers, dance…and then somehow we forgot! So don’t wait til ‘next time’. Do it now.

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Mastery is Not About Perfection

Following my blog post yesterday about success, someone sent me this quote: “We fail to realize that mastery is not about perfection. It’s about a process, a journey. The master is the one who stays on the path day after day, year after year. The master is the one who is willing to try, and fail, and try again, for as long as he or she lives.”
~ George Leonard from Mastery

Have you realised that this is what mastery is? Have you realised yet that to get top marks in this life, all you need to do is show up and do your best (and you are always doing your best, even when you believe otherwise)? Imagine how much easier life would be if you allowed yourself the liberty of trying, failing, and staying on the path… I wonder when we got so mixed up that we believed we had to be perfect to master something?

Give yourself a break from being ‘perfect’ today and allow yourself to try, fail, and stay on the path.

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

To Succeed, Be Willing To Lose

I received an e-mail from The Simple Dollar this morning containing this “The best thing you can do if you want to succeed at anything is to not care about losing. And you probably will lose – a lot.” I want you to read that again. And again. And again.

Because what stops most people from trying to succeed is the fear that they will fail. We often only see the successes people achieve…we don’t see all the failures and the losses that came first. And even when we hear them, we kind of don’t believe them or take them in. Instead, we see only that we suck! We’re terrible, we’re a failure, we’re wrong, we’re bad, we can’t do it.

And that is just bullshit. There are some ‘overnight successes’ who didn’t try that hard…but most successes in any area are preceded by effort. And if you can get over the idea that failure is a bad thing, you can enjoy that journey. It’s just part of it – when you f*** up, you learn a LOT! I know this – I’ve done it a million times in the last 6 years in business. And sometimes I really want to give up…but I’m willing to lose so that I CAN succeed.

Are you?

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Feeling Alive

“Children FEEL life. They smell it, roll in it, run with it, see it all around them. Feel the world through the eyes of a child.” – Anonymous. I remember thinking that there was nothing better in life than a Mr Whippy ice cream and a go on the trampoline. Actually, to be honest, not much has changed – I was a wise child! What do you remember as a child thinking ‘this is the BEST thing ever’? And what now brings back that feeling of being alive?

I did a quick ‘straw poll’ on some of my friends, and these are the things that make them feel alive: “Sunshine, puppy dogs, laughing and being at the seaside.” “Planning things like a holiday or a trip to see family, meeting up with people I haven’t seen for ages.” “Loud music, a sunny day, the sea, laughing, flirting.” “Being with my kids – they really know how to squeeze every drop of fun out of one moment.” (I LOVE this!)

“Dancing, laughing, being with nature, crying, walking in the rain and wind, being somewhere different, teaching, acting and loving.” “Sunshine, peace & quiet, contentment, feeling thin, having places to go, freedom, change of routine” “An open road and the stereo turned up” “Challenging myself, travelling, singing at the top of my voice, standing on a hilltop and shouting, playing sports” (plus a few things which would probably trigger your e-mail filters!)

I noticed that none of them said “working”, “watching tv”, “being stressed”. How curious…not. I also noticed that none of them are expensive, difficult, or particularly time consuming – and yet they’re the very things that get relegated to the bottom of the priority pile. Life just gets in the way of feeling alive. Unless of course, you decide to make it more of a priority. Unless you decide that you’re going to live a bit before you die.

And why wouldn’t you? There is nothing better than feeling alive – and all too often, the only time we think about feeling alive is when Death brushes us. Don’t wait for the shock of losing someone close to you or the wake up call of a health scare. Start paying attention to feeling alive right now. Today. This minute. Here. Picture it for a moment: Picture yourself, feeling alive, smiling joyously, really living. You can probably remember a time not too long ago when you did feel alive. Did it feel good enough to do it again?

What makes you feel life? Make a list. What can you do this week that connects you with that feeling of being truly alive? Keep that list handy, and do the things from it that make YOU feel alive. And leave me a comment here – what makes you feel alive?

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Attack of the Should-Bee’s

Have you been attacked by the should be’s lately? You know, when you drive yourself nuts with “I should be” doing this, that or t’other. “I should be” better, faster, fitter, brighter, taller, thinner, richer, more this or less that. Ugh. What if you should be exactly where you are – not doing whatever it is you should do, not being whatever you should be. What if you could just let yourself off the hook a little here?

Whenever I hear someone saying “I should”, it is like an alarm bell in my mind – because it almost always points to something that you don’t want to do, that you are beating yourself up about not doing. For example, I should really expand on this and write more…but I think you get my point! So I don’t need to. Lol. Figure out what’s stopping you doing those ‘should’s, and then either decide to drop them, postpone them, make them more fun and at least quit feeling guilty for not doing them!

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Magic Moments

I am currently sat in the sunshine, with my laptop on my lap, music playing and delighted to be alive and outside! In this moment, I am so loving working for myself. It’s a magic moment. And so far it’s lasted half the morning. Ok, I didn’t say this to brag, but to make a very serious point. Many of us let these magic moments slide by, barely noticing that it’s a wonderful thing to be alive. And this is such a waste.

An unpleasant moment on the other hand, we tend to stop to appreciate. Hmm, perhaps not appreciate, but certainly we stop to notice, and then most likely we will relive it a hundred more times by telling all and sundry about the rubbish thing that happened to us. Magic moments meanwhile, pass by unnoticed, uncelebrated, unappreciated. The irony is of course, that it’s the magic moments we live for – it’s the joy we crave.

So today, whenever something good happens, stop a moment to savor it. Perhaps you don’t have the chance to sit outside and work in the sunshine, but you will have some pleasant things happen today. And the more that you appreciate these magic moments, the more magic moments you will notice, and the more magic moments will happen. I promise you.

Let me know what magic moments you are having today.

Love

Donna.x

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Next Page »