A Quick Trip To Chuntersville

Let me give you a little insight into my head this morning “oh I can’t face getting up, it’s bloody grey again, I hate rain, I hate January, I need some sunlight, it’s a terrible shame for me, I don’t want to do that, why can’t people just leave me alone, I’ll never get this done, my desk is a mess, I don’t want to…” As you can imagine, it wasn’t much fun being me today! At one point I wanted to put my head on the desk and cry buckets.

I am not generally a whiner (except in winter), but I have my moments where everything is a stress, a chore, a pain and I just wish the whole world would leave me alone. When I am being a whiner there is usually a reason for it – no, not that everyone in the world is a pain in the ass – today that reason was that I was tired and feeling a little run down. Perfectly simple, but my attention was firmly focused on the outside of me, at where everything and everyone was annoying me!

Your true self is a sunny, optimistic, excitable being (remember that one that you were when you were 3 years old – that was you before the world drummed it out of you) so often when you feel bad, it is because you are holding yourself apart from who you really are. When you look into WHY you are holding yourself away from who you really are, you can fix it. In my case, all I needed was a little tlc and I was right as rain again. Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned rain, I feel another little chunter coming on…

Love

Donna.x
PS Only 2 more days left to take advantage of this month’s special offer

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Take A Risk!

When was the last time you took a risk? Get your mojo going by taking a bold step into your wonderful future – that future you barely dare to dream of. Get your heart beating a little faster, your senses tingling, your light shining. Take a risk.

Love

Donna.x

PS There’s only a few days left to take advantage of my January e-mail coaching offer – If you haven’t seen it yet, go to my special offers page. If you’re interested in taking me up on it, you need to ACT NOW!

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OnTheBeach – In It For The Long Haul

So how are things going in your one and only life? Everything going perfectly to plan? Every goal you’ve ever had achieved? Still as optimistic and positive as you were when you were 19? No? Welcome to the Human Race! Only it is not a race…there are no prizes for getting to the finish line early, and it’s one of those sneaky courses that deceive you – just when you think you’re getting there, you turn the corner and there is ANOTHER home strait in front of you, stretching as far as the eye can see.

It’s liberating to realise that life is not a race and there is no finish line, because it frees you from the shackles of having to be at a certain point at a certain time. It also encourages us to change our expectations and our strategy slightly. You see, if it’s not a race, there is no need to wear ourselves out…and if the journey is never-ending, stamina is more important than speed. Remember the tale of the hare and the tortoise? While the hare dashed hither and thither and was distracted by a thousand things, the tortoise plodded steadily on and reached the finish line.

How do you approach your goals? Do you set a bright and shiny goal to earn £250squillion more this year, set off at a run, not achieve it in the first 30 seconds so get completely discouraged, stop and give up? Or do you set a goal you believe you can reach and head towards it, steadily and persistently, knowing that when you reach this goal, there will be another to head for and enjoying the journey is more important than hitting the milestones.

For years, I tried the first approach. I would start the year with high expectations, spend 2 or 3 days making plans and getting excited, take a little action then hit a hurdle and give up, defeated. The end of the year would roll around and I would mutter to myself ‘another year wasted’ and be negative and pessimistic, scoffing at the very idea of a joyful life. Luckily I made a discovery which has saved me from this pattern of accelerate hard, brake even harder, reverse to beginning.

Persistence. I was always stubborn, and when I realised that I could turn stubborn-ness (a supposed fault) into tenacity and persistence (strengths) and use it to move my life inexorably forward, my life changed. Life is a journey – with good health and a little luck, a long journey, and if you set off at a run, you will wear yourself out quickly. But if you take one fun step, then another, and another, and another, before you know it you will be closer to your goals, and have enjoyed yourself along the way. And it won’t matter that you’re not ‘there’ yet because you know that you will never be finished anyway, and it’s worth being in it for the long haul to create the life of your dreams.

Something to play with
Think of something you really want in your life. What have you done in the last 7 days to create this? What do you think would happen if you took one step a day towards what you want for 365 days? Set that stubborn streak of yours to good use and keep moving towards what you want – consistently and persistently.

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

A note from Donna
This topic has been a hot one this week – I have mentioned the persistent, step by step approach to every one of my clients, and when I now look at my very very nearly finished ebook, I am reminded that without this persistence and tenacity, I would NEVER finish this project. A few times I have become discouraged, even bored of it but now I have almost finished the latest draft and it just needs a little final polishing for the final draft. This project started as a seed of an idea back in late 2007 – good job I was in for the long haul eh?

PS There’s only a few days left to take advantage of my January e-mail coaching offer – If you haven’t seen it yet, go to my special offers page. If you’re interested in taking me up on it, you need to ACT NOW!

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Smart Ass Comments

I got this e-mail today, and thought you might like a bit of a Friday chuckle.

1. It was mealtime during an airline flight. ‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. ‘What are my choices?’ John asked. ‘Yes or no,’ she replied.

2. A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, ‘Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.’

3. A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ‘ Do these turkeys get any bigger?’ The stock boy replied, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead.’

4. The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. ‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the officer said. The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.’ When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

5. A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, ‘Got stuck, huh?’ The truck driver says, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.’

Have a great weekend!

Love

Donna.x

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Look to Your Source, Not to Your Spouse

All the things you look to the outside world for – approval, guidance, love, validation – your source has in greater abundance than another person could ever have. Stop asking other people to give you what they themselves are lacking, and tap in to the vast resource of love and joy in your existence your source (soul, divinity, guides, angels) has in overwhelming plentitude.

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – How Not to Motivate Me

I am really easy not to motivate – all you have to do is tell me I ‘have to’ do something and instantly I am demotivated. To make me even less motivated, tell me I’m lazy, stupid, need to buckle down, am at fault for everything wrong with my life and a total loser. Make sure you don’t give me any praise or encouragement, and keep my nose firmly pinned to the grindstone. Let all achievements go by unrecognised, and make sure all attention is focused on what has not been done. And to make sure I am not at all motivated, repeat ad nauseum.

Of course, if you do this to me, I will probably stop talking to you at all. But guess who has been doing that to me? Yep, you guessed it – it’s the worst boss I ever had. Me. I’m quite lucky that I have been working on myself for a few years, so I recognised this behaviour quite quickly. I also made myself laugh because I said aloud to myself ‘you know, that is NOT the way to motivate me’.

Funny isn’t it, how we do this to ourselves? Especially when you stop and look at it and see that it just doesn’t work. I’m working on my first ‘proper’ (for sale) ebook, and it’s going really well – but you wouldn’t know that if you heard my internal dialogue. I’m only missing a whip and some chains for my desk, and I’d be a slave-master. The interesting thing is that this demotivating behaviour has the exact opposite effect to the desired outcome. Instead of getting me to finish up faster, it slows me down.

So today I was thinking, if I really wanted me to finish quickly, what would I do? I would focus on the fact that I’m really close to the finish line, I would remind myself of the feedback I’ve had so far – all really good – I would ask myself what I need to make sure I get it done (good food, rest, peace, time to work, a clear mind). I wouldn’t keep telling myself I ‘have to’ do it, heckle myself for not having done 73 hours a day and finishing 6 months ago.

The bizarre thing is that I know that the delays my inner slave driver is getting worked up over have served to make this project BETTER. Much better. It’s almost as if I am slowing myself down by being nasty to me…to allow myself to complete the project in perfect time. Wouldn’t that be so much easier if I were to just allow myself to complete the project in perfect time without any of the heckling, stressing, and whipping? What a radical thought.

Something to play with
If someone was going to NOT motivate you, what would they need to do? Do you recognise any of that behaviour – do you do it to yourself? Resolve now to change your behaviour from ‘how not to motivate’ to giving yourself what you need to move forward with your life – joyfully, happily and easily.

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

A note from Donna
Well, it’s been a great week for my January e-mail coaching offer – seems like it has struck a chord with many of you. If you haven’t seen it yet, go to http://www.donnaonthebeach.com/blog/index.php/coaching/special-offers/. It’s great for me too – I love the flexibility of e-mail coaching, and the fact that you can address so many areas at once. It also gives me a chance to connect more deeply with you guys, which is always good.

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The Optimist’s Creed – Video

I have just loved this poem so much, that I wanted to record it on video so as well as reading it, you could listen to it. I am reading it to myself every day, and doing my best to keep these promises – they’re a great recipe for a good life!

The Optimist’s Creed by Christian D Larson.

Enjoy!

Love

Donna.x

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Dream Big

If you could change the world, what would you change? What would you have happen? Can you make that change within yourself? Can you help one other person make that change? And another? Every single person can make a big difference – start with a big dream, then start taking small steps – and just imagine if every person in the world did the same..a big dream indeed.

Love

Donna.x

Check out the January special offer here

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OnTheBeach – Coming To Play?

Something to play with

For everything you are doing this week, tell yourself or your partner that you are ‘going out to play’, and see how much of a difference this makes to each task.

Coming to play?

I read something brilliant recently about a little girl who says to her auntie ‘I’m going to play’ when she’s on her way to school. Isn’t that just a fabulous attitude to have? Picture it: Monday morning 8am ‘I am going to play’. I am guessing that this is not what you normally say or think on a Monday morning?

So I thought, I wonder what difference this attitude would make to my life. Bearing in mind that I already largely love what I do…except the accounts…and the admin… It was a revelation. It reminded me of being on holiday – you know when you are excited about everything you are going to do, from shopping to lounging on the beach to sight-seeing.

It was like that. For the tasks that I enjoy, it gave me an even greater sense of pleasure to realise that this was play – what I do is FUN! And for the tasks I don’t enjoy, it gave me a different framework…and made the tasks more fun. Yes, even my accounts took on a whole new light.

I said to myself, ‘for the next hour I’m going to play with my accounts’ – and I really did play and enjoy the time I spent on it. Then I said to myself ‘for as long as it takes, I’m going to play with my filing’, cranked up the stereo and thoroughly enjoyed myself for the next 45 minutes. Both things would normally take twice as long as I moaned my way through them!

You may be looking at me with a bit of scepticism right now, but before you dismiss me as a crank, give it a go. You will find that just approaching something from such a radically different angle will make it a different experience. Now, I’m off to play…anyone going to join me?

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

A note from Donna

Well, it doesn’t take long to get back into the swing of things does it? Christmas now seems like a dim and distant dream. As does summer at the moment – my desire for warm weather and sunshine is sky-high. For a winter baby, I really don’t like winter! Anyone know a good sundance I can try?

My theme for 2009 is service, so I’ve been asking how I can help you guys more – one idea that I have really liked is ‘access to coaching when I have no time or money’! I can sympathise with that. So, for January only, I am offering a week of e-mail coaching for just £25 – you can do this when you have spare time in your day rather than booking a session, it’s easier for those of you in different time zones, and it is a low cost way to get some quality coaching. To find out more, get in touch here.

And if you have any other ideas about how I can help you, get in touch to let me know what I can do to serve.

Love

Donna.x

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Discovering Your Strengths

I’ve recently been reading “Authentic Happiness” by Martin Seligman. It’s an interesting book, but not necessarily one I would recommend, because I’m not finding it easy to read!! The style is slightly too academic for me, and can sometimes be hard going for that. However, I do have to recommend the website – www.authentichappiness.org – I went along today to do a strengths test, and although I am normally a bit sceptical about the value of personality tests, I found this one really interesting.

After 240 questions, it will tell you your top 5 strengths and show you the 24 strengths in order. not so that you can improve your weaknesses, but so you know what strengths you can focus on. Seligman advises us to pay attention to your top strengths and find ways to use them more often. This is an approach that I wholeheartedly endorse – focus on what you are brilliant at, and do that more…life gets so much better then.

The site also has other personality tests and resources – and it’s all free! So, if you’d like to find your top strengths, go along and check it out (it’s the VIA signature strengths test I did). Let me know what you find out!

Love

Donna.x

PS My top 5 strengths today are: Curiosity and interest in the world, gratitude, humour and playfulness, capacity to love and be loved, and love of learning. Yep, sounds like me!

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