If you had 100% self belief…

I came across this question a week or so ago “If you believed in yourself 100%, what would you do differently?” – at the time I was working on my ebook project, and the first answer to spring to mind was that I would start asking people to look at the first draft and give me some feedback, instead of putting it off.

It’s a great question, because it cuts straight to the heart of what you could do next…So, if you believed in yourself 100%, what would you be doing differently today?

Love

Donna.x

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Let’s Get Happy.

Don’t wait for the circumstances of your life to be ‘perfect’ before you’re happy, get happy now. How? By noticing the little stuff that makes you happy, and consciously enjoying yourself. So the next time you are in the bath, or enjoying a meal, or reading a book, or out with friends, notice your happy feelings and enjoy them!

Love

Donna.x

PS this tip first appeared in the BlissQuest newsletter – to sign up or to book a one-off session with me, go tohttp://www.blissquest.com/Donna_Higton.html

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OnTheBeach – A Shining Beacon of Light

A note from Donna

Brrrrrr…Well, I can now feel November approaching in the air – the good news is that I am writing this sat beside a roaring fire and I don’t have to go back outside today. I’m sure I was a bear (or some other hibernating creature) in a previous life! I’m making good progress with my latest project – Banishing Money Misery course. Soon I will need people to test it out, check it makes sense and critique it. In return, these lovely people will be the first to see it, and get a copy for nothing! If that sounds like it could be of interest to you, and you’d like more details, please e-mail me.

A Shining Beacon of Light

Imagine that you are standing outside as the sky gets dark. As the light fades, you switch on a torch – this torch stays as a shining beacon of light no matter how dark the sky becomes. Now imagine that you are the torch, and the darkness is your workplace. Many people tell me (and indeed I remember living it!) that their workplace is full to bursting with negative, petty, malicious and spiteful people.

The irony being that if you were to meet any one of those people outside the workplace, you would probably find that they were lovely! Often this ‘bad’ behaviour is just thoughtlessness rather than malice, inattentiveness rather than spite. Some places just seem to breed that uncomfortable atmosphere that makes people behave badly…but wait! “Makes” them behave badly? Does someone hold a gun to their head and say “Today you will backstab, gossip and be petty and irritable”?

No…it is a choice we all make. And often the choice is not whether we are loving or malicious – most of us would not choose to be malicious – but whether to react to your environment or rise above it. Whether to switch off your torch and join the darkness or keep shining. It is often said that it is so hard to keep being fabulous in a situation where everyone else is being negative and foolish.

But actually it just requires a little more attention, a bit of determination and a strong sense of how wonderful you are. We all have a great need for acceptance, but if that acceptance means turning down who we are – becoming less fabulous, less loving, less friendly, less wonderful, that is too high a price to pay. This subject came up this week because one of the nicest, most compassionate, lovely people I know was griping about work and the petty, self-serving behaviour…that they had joined into.

Although I understand how it happens, and I’ve done it 1000 times myself, I was shocked that this shining beacon of compassion and gorgeousness would stoop to the level set by other people. And I couldn’t help but feel that their workplace, and indeed the world was a darker place without their full fabulousness. If you are not your fully fabulous self in your workplace, or even with your family and friends, you need to pay attention. Protect yourself from other people’s energies, be mindful of who you really are, and DO NOT let them put out your light.

Something to play with

Close your eyes for a few seconds and imagine yourself as a beacon of light. Is your light shining out strongly and fully, reflecting your magnificence? Or is it dimmed, darkened, hidden? Imagine that light shining brilliantly and like rays of sunshine, your light uplifting the world around you. Open your eyes and carry on with your day…mindful that you are responsible for shining your light, and you MUST NOT allow it to dim.

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave me a comment below.

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Releasing the Pain

The first anniversary of my uncle’s death has just passed…I can hardly believe that it’s been a year already – where does the time go? In an attempt to finally process what happened, I’ve been looking at my diaries and blog entries for this time last year, and finally writing about what happened. I’m letting go of a little of the grief and pain and horror and anger and bewilderment, and as I do I can feel my body, mind and soul releasing some of the tension I’ve been holding for a year.

Things happen in life, and we need to process what’s happened, to let it go, to heal. So many of us just hold it in, and we either explode with long held pain at inappropriate moments or we make ourselves desperately ill. Sometimes with fatal consequences. Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief, pain, anger, hurt…just make sure that you ARE dealing with yours, not just hiding it away for 20 years.

For the last year, I haven’t been able to deal with it at all – every time I tried, I had to retreat in confusion and bury it all again. Now, the time has come to begin to work it through. Even as I write this, I can feel the pain in my heart waiting for release. Is there pain in your heart that you can let go? The trouble with holding the pain there is that it covers up the love that’s there – your heart should be soft, flowing, beautiful love. Not hard, painful, crusted hurt.

The time has come for me…maybe it’s time for you too?

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Help! I Need Somebody

A note from Donna

Not for the first time, I needed to read what I wrote this week! It is the anniversary of my uncle’s death today…and my friend reminded me that I mustn’t be down on my own – that she’d help me!! Thanks mate. xxx

Help! I need somebody

If you are anything like me, when you need a bit of help is the time when you disappear off the planet. For years I have been utterly marvellous at retreating to my cave to struggle on alone instead of taking the easy path and asking for help! My friends are the same – I often find out after the fact that the reason they have not been in touch is because they’ve been busy having a crisis! And then over the last week, several clients have also mentioned the same subject.

So why do we find it so hard to ask for help? In my case, I am supremely stubborn, independent and self-assured – to a fault! My dad is the opposite – he will cheerfully ask all and sundry for assistance with anything and everything. Can you ask for help when you need it? If not, why do you find it hard to ask for help? Is it that you don’t like to admit weakness? Is it that you want to do everything alone? Do you think you should be able to cope? Do you not want to burden other people with your problems?

Although it’s a trite saying, a problem shared is a problem halved. Well, if not halved, at least relieved! Other people are lovely souls – they love to help when they can. More than that, no man is an island – we all need others to survive. Even my Rice Krispies (breakfast cereal) go through the hands of loads of people just to get to my plate! And despite this interconnection, we still go it alone, don’t ask for help, don’t look for assistance, think this is part of life to just battle through alone.

I am going to get a little ‘woo-woo’ now, so if you’re against ‘woo-woo’-ness, turn away now! How often do you ask God, or the universe, or the guardian angels, or your guides, or whatever you believe in, for help? Divine assistance is an incredible resource that I think we do not ask for enough. I have had some incredible help from upstairs (as I call it) when I have remembered to ask – resources that came my way ‘out of the blue’, new clients, inspiration for articles, friends, all sorts of things.

Whether you believe in the unseen or not, I know without a shadow of a doubt that there is a benevolent and loving force helping me…when I ask! Which brings me to my last point. If you don’t ask, you don’t get! Either from the divine, or from the bloke next door. If you keep all your troubles to yourself, not only do you deny yourself the opportunity to be helped, you also deny them the opportunity to be helpful.

Something to play with

Think of a situation you could use some help with – maybe you just need some ideas, maybe you need a strong back for some lifting, maybe you just need a willing ear? ASK FOR HELP! Want to share your thoughts on this? Please leave me a comment below.

Love

Donna.x

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Keep Your Sense of Humour

Listening to Kerrang yesterday, I was entertained to hear the following: “..and in the news, everything is looking bleak for everyone…and there’s a strong chance of drizzle”. I’ve said before that I got really tired of hearing the doom and gloom – the attitude that everything is terrible irritates me, because I just don’t believe it. There’s always something good somewhere…even if it’s just a little bit of humour. I was feeling a bit glum myself yesterday – the anniversary of my uncle’s death is looming, and I am feeling a bit flat – and this comment just made me laugh aloud.

If all else fails, if the sky falls in and the entire world collapses…at the end, I will still be able to laugh. In fact, one of the things I loved most about my uncle was his ability to make us laugh in the most un-funny circumstances…because when things are terrible, that’s when you most need a good laugh! So this weekend, exercise that sense of humour…;-)

Love

Donna.x

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Share Your Gifts…Even If You’re Not Ready

It never fails to entertain me that the articles I am least happy with are almost always the ones that have the greatest impact on readers! This week I realised on Sunday night that I hadn’t written my article for Monday morning, so I grabbed an idea, rushed out a mini-article on it and set it up to send…not unhappy with it, but aware that I had not given the subject my usual consideration, it was a bit short and felt incomplete.

And then my inbox was flooded with responses – it seems to have hit a chord with an awful lot of people! Which reminds me of something I often say to clients – share your gifts with the world, even when you’re not ready. Because sometimes you have to trust that what you have to say is valuable, important and relevant to somebody, even when it’s not polished and perfect. After all, if we waited for perfection in our gifts…many of us would never share them!

And that would be a great loss to the world. So share your gifts, even if you’re not ‘ready’.

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Getting Away From It All

A note from Donna

Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I thought I had written, saved, and scheduled my newsletter for today long ago. Sadly I was completely and utterly mistaken! So this is being hastily written on a Sunday evening while watching Stephen Fry drive a black cab around the USA… So I’ll keep it short and sweet this week!

Getting Away From It All

When was the last time you had a day away? Just a day away from everything? No work, no hassle, no noise and bustle? I often speak to new clients who say ‘I have no idea what I want to do with my life’ – and when I ask how long they’ve spent thinking about it (away from everything else, in peaceful pondering, not frantic monkey mind), it is no surprise they’ve no idea, because there is no time to consider it.

Think about it for a second – how would you love to plan your life? In a frantic moment between work and chores, or in a quiet, meditative, peaceful moment? I would guess that you would love to plan your life in a peaceful moment…but how many of them do you have?! Our bodies, our minds, our hearts and our souls need rest time, need to have space and quiet to restore ourselves to our natural state of good health.

Do you get much of that??? If you do, you’re a rare bird! Most of us feel lucky just to get a few week’s holiday in a year and the odd peaceful moment here and there. But to really plan your one and only life, you need to set aside specific time to tune into the voice of your soul, and figure out where you really want to go. You have within you every answer you could possibly need…give your inner self a chance to be heard, and get away from it all. Your life is worth it.

Something to play with

Take out your diary right now and plan a day, or an afternoon, or a couple of hours where you can just go somewhere quiet and ponder, ruminate, deliberate, contemplate, muse and reflect about your life. Share your thoughts on this post – leave me a comment below.

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Disturbing the Water

I went for a swim today, and once again was struck by the differences in the way people swim. Some have their own unique strokes that look enormously inefficient but get them up and down the pool faster than I can move! Some disturb the entire pool, thrashing through the water and in the process creating waves that usually hit me just as I am taking in air, making me splutter. And still others cut gracefully through the water, barely creating a ripple as they go by.

I aspire to be one of the latter ones – at one with the water, enjoying the strokes, getting the distance done but without unecessary effort. In life too, this is my philosophy. I could thrash around, making a lot of noise and leaving mayhem in my wake…but frankly that is far too much like hard work! I could (and I have) devise my own way, looking chaotic but actually moving quite fast…again, it’s too hard! Or I could go through life gracefully, joyfully, finding the path of least resistance and enjoying the flow…Mmmmm, that’s the one for me.

After all, why waste energy disturbing the water (and yourself!) when you don’t need to?

Love

Donna.x

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OnTheBeach – Sensationalise Your Life!

A note from Donna

I’d like to put in a note of gratitude this week for all the people who were very lovely and helpful when my car window got put through – my neighbours, friends, relatives, glass replacement bods, and the police. Everyone was really lovely – and in the case of the glass people and police, really good fun. We had an excellent laugh over the idea that someone might have tried to steal my tape collection (yes, I still have a tape player in my car!). And thank you to the person who put the window through for NOT stealing my tapes!!!

Sensationalise Your Life

Alright, imagine that you are writing the story of your life for a tabloid newspaper – what scandal, gossip and sensationalism can you come up with? How can you exaggerate the bad things that happen in your life? Are you on the brink of bankruptcy? Is the sky about to fall in? Don’t worry about the truth – after all, Fleet Street won’t let the truth get in the way of a good story, so why should you? Really go to town on your story. Get some inflationary language in there – shocking, worst for 2 months, incredible, horrifying.

If you did this (and if not, why not?!), did you exaggerate the good stuff or the bad? Did you play up the positive end of the story or the negative? Did you dwell on the ‘bad’ stuff or focus more on the good? Have a quick think about it now – which do you think would be easier? The reason I am asking is that I did this a few days ago – totally sensationalised my story!

I think I have been listening to too much news recently – I usually try to avoid it, but everytime you turn on the tv, radio or internet, someone is gabbling on about the latest crisis. So I joined the party and had a little crisis of my own – my finances were the worst for 6 months, I had NO money for the month, I needed to cancel every social engagement I have this month…and blah, blah, blah.

The thing was, when I stopped feeling sorry for myself and whinging, I realised that this was largely bollocks! I make some extra payments to pay down my debts – if I just take a rest from these voluntary payments for one month, I have money. I also have money in my savings. I also have money in my purse. I was just moaning! The trouble is that when I was busy sensationalising my life and making it a terrible shame for me, other people believed it…and for a moment I did too.

Most of us do sensationalise a little (well, all storytellers do, it makes a better story!), but when we do it consistently we start to believe that things are a little worse than they are…and a little worse…and a little worse, until we talk ourselves into a really shit life! But guess what? If you sensationalise in a positive way, you start to feel GREAT – so come on, talk it up and let’s hear about that SENSATIONAL life of yours!

Something to play with

Imagine you are writing the story of your life for the most positive tabloid in the universe – no negativity, self-pity or whinging is allowed in this tabloid, but exaggeration of the positive, good inflationary language (amazing, wonderful, magnificent, best ever) is positively encouraged!!! And enjoy that story!

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